Guilty

Trigger warning, panic attack, suicide, ptsd

1 month later, Valetta, Malta

I raised my hands wrapped in boxing gloves and tried to relax my shoulders. They shouldn’t be stiff or too high. That would make my belly vulnerable. I put my right leg forward and crouched a little just enough to easy to avoid an attack coming to my face. I looked at the man standing opposite me and once his eyes met mine, I tried to hit him with my right fist. He blocked it as always, but it didn’t’ mean it will stop me from trying to punch him again and again. When I tried to hit him for the fourth time, he raised his fist so quickly I couldn’t even see it before I felt pain on the left side of my head. I staggered backward and shook my head like a wet dog.

‘’ I told you to be careful when you attack because you leave your guard open.’’ Leo’s voice was even and unbothered. On the other hand, I was already breathing with difficulties. ‘’Don’t focus only on attacking. You need to prot