Chapter 2

Karan

Her eyes moved from my eyes to my hand. She hesitated to shake hands with me. Divya was one of those girls in our college who was naive, shy and decent, every quality I wanted in a girl. Though most of my girlfriends were fucking bitches, that time I wanted to date someone for whom I would be the first guy she would fall in love with. I didn't wait long to offer her for friendship. 

    "Yes or no?", I asked her as she was taking time to shake hands.

    "I'm already your friend, no?", she mumbled.

    "I don't wanna be a formal friend", I told her.

    "Now what's a formal friend?", she rolled her eyes. Some of her behaviours used to piss me off. I wondered how a girl could be so dumb. She thought we were friends.

   "This is called a formal friendship which we share. Like; passing notes", I explained to her while my friends were looking at me, being clueless.

   "So you wanna be an informal friend?", she raised her eyebrows, crossing her arms. 

   "Sort of. But I won't force you if you're not interested", I had almost dropped the plan of wooing her. She was tough to get impressed by me. 

She looked at my hand again and took 5 seconds to think. Making me surprise she shook hands with me. I could surely say I was the first guy to touch her hand. It felt smoother than the cotton as I lightly squeezed her hand. 

   "Friends!", she chuckled and I smiled back at her. 

Present

I came out of my thoughts and turned off the shower. I didn't expect that girl with round spectacles would be my wife someday. Heck! I don't want her. However, I was helpless. It was my mistake to accept the proposal without even know who the girl was. Now, I can't run from the truth that she is my wife. I walk out of the washroom and find her in front of the mirror. She is removing all the heavy accessories, looking at me through the mirror. I drove my eyes away and walked towards the bed, taking my phone. I glue my eyes to the phone screen as usual. This day isn't that special for me. But my curiosity still works on her. 

My gaze unknowingly moves back to her. She is examining her neck on the mirror, making dirty faces. I look at her neck little carefully and found her skin turning red because of the jewellery. That's why Indian jewellery sucks. I always wanted to have a church wedding but situations made me so helpless that I had no interest left for my own wedding. I again focus on my phone.

    "Do you have some antiseptic?", she asks me.

    "Check the second drawer", I answer her in a casual voice, avoiding eye contact as my eyes are still glued to my phone. 

    "I can't find it", she mutters after 30 seconds.

    "Either you need one more spectacle or you should change the power", I shrug.

    "Don't make fun of my eyesight", she frowns. "I have told you that several times"

I ignore her words and get up, leaving my phone on the bed. Walking towards her, I lean down to the drawer and open it. I try to avoid her as much as I can. I scramble to the stuff inside the drawer and find the antiseptic at the corner. 

   "Here you go", I slam the tube on the dressing table instead of giving it to her.

   "Thank you", she takes it as my eyes catch a glance of her hand. Those henna applied hand look beautiful with red thick bangles. I can see my name written with the henna on her hand. It freaks me out whenever I realize that she is my wife now. I drove my eyes away and head back to the bed. 

Though I am trying to avoid her, I am just pretending to do so since I am noticing every movement of her. She applied the antiseptic around her neck, opened her luggage and pulled out a red saree then moved to the washroom. I try to close my eyes to sleep but I can't. I had gone through the biggest quake ok my life which shook me from inside.

After 10 long minutes, she comes out. My eyes automatically find a way to her. She had worn a red cotton saree, revealing her brownish skin. I was weak towards her skin tone when we were dating. I used to find ways to touch her smooth arms and cheeks. I had never seen her bare waist as she never preferred to reveal it. However, this saree has disclosed her thin waist which I can't resist staring at. Exactly then she looks at me and I immediately drive my gaze away from her. It's awkward for me. Now she'll think I was staring at her. Yes, I was. But I don't wanna show that. 

She says nothing and comes near my bed.

    "Take a pillow and move to the couch", I tell her in a husky voice.

    "Excuse me!", she blurts out.

    "Didn't you hear? You can't sleep on my bed", I shoot her a glare.

    "Why is that? It's now my bed too", she claims.

    "It's my bed. And I'm not interested in sharing it with you", I shrug, laying down as I spread my blanket over my body.

    "That's your problem, Karan. You can't do this to me. It was your fault. I didn't force you to marry me. So, I'll not tolerate all the shit of you. Now move aside. I wanna sleep", her voice booms around the room. I'm surprised by her changed behaviour. She is not the same Divya I knew. She used to be very calm and quiet in college. She had never uttered something so cruelly. It was unexpected for me to witness something like this from her.

   "What are you looking at me like this? I'm not here to tolerate this. If you have so much problem with me, you can sleep on the couch. I don't mind to share a bed with you", she mutters, sitting on the edge of the bed, her back facing me. 

My voice gasps inside my throat, not be able to answer her. She takes a comb and brings her hairs to her right shoulder, removing them from her back. Her backless blouse had revealed most of the portions of her back. I wonder how this girl became so bold over the years. She was too shy to wear a half sleeve dress. I still remember she used to wear full sleeve dress before.

I scold myself in my mind for thinking about her again and again. Closing my eyes, I try to sleep again. A few minutes later, I feel my blanket sliding sideways. I immediately open my eyes and see her lying beside me in the same blanket. 

   "At least bring your own blanket. I am not used to sharing a blanket with anyone", I threw a blank look. 

   "Soon, you will be used to it", she tilts her head towards me and smiles. What does she mean by that? I'm not gonna share everything with her whole life. It's fucking impossible. To be honest, I prefer to keep quiet instead of arguing with her. 

I look at the ceiling after several failed attempt of trying to sleep. I'm trying to figure out where my life is taking me to. I thought my life would get a track after this marriage as I heard from people that arrange marriages worked. However, I'm confused about what kind of a marriage this is. Marrying ex-girlfriend, what is it called? A confused marriage maybe! 

   "So what made you do this?", after a long silence, she utters. I come out of my thoughts and look at her confusingly.

   "What?", I narrow my eyebrows.

   "Having an arranged marriage! without knowing who the girl is! Isn't it strange? That's not you Karan", she imparts as my eyes meet hers. Her eyes still look beautiful keeping off the spectacle. 

   "I can say that too. It's not you Divya", I tell her and move my gaze. 

   "It's a new ME, Karan. I needed to update my version", she chuckles sarcastically. 

   "You were single over the years?", I ask her. I don't know why I asked this. We keep looking at the ceiling while talking. 

   "Yes. Single and Virgin", she gasps.

   "I didn't ask you that", I reply with no reaction.

   "But you may have the question. No?"

   "Never. I know you well. You're not like this"

   "Like this? Like how?", she asks. 

   "You don't believe in sex before marriage", I utter. 

   "What if now I do. And you said I'm not the same Divya", we keep chatting but don't look at each other.

   "So you're saying now you believe in that?", I inquire.

   "I would prefer it if I got someone to give my virginity. It's not about belief. It's about the person", she explains herself.

   "And you think I am the person?", my tongue slips. I regret immediately after saying this. It was too fast. "I mean.. Now nothing can be changed. But if you want to give me a divorce, you can go on since I won't be able to love you"

   "We just got married today, Karan. Why are you being so quick?", she looks at me but my eyes don't move to her.

   "So what do you want?", I ask her.

   "I wanna stay and I wanna try", she replies.

   "It's not gonna work. You'll be wasting your time. You should find another guy for yourself", I suggest her. Maybe, I'm the only husband on the earth who is suggesting his wife find another guy on the wedding night. But our case is complicated. 

   "If I could do that, I would've done that a long ago and never gotten married to you", she proclaims. I sigh and turn another side. I have no answer, no conclusion. I don't even know where our relationship will go in the end.