"Divya, it's not the time to discuss all this", I finish wrapping the bandage and sigh.
"Then when are we going to talk?", she wipes her tears and looks at me. Her eyes immediately get ruddy because of crying.
"There's nothing to talk about. I'm just not ready to accept this marriage", driving my eyes away I push the plate towards her. "Finish your dinner now"
"Then I'm ready to give us some time", she urges, looking at me, ignoring my last sentence. I don't look at her anymore since I know I know if I see her crying and suffering like this, I'll feel more guilty.
"Say something", she touches my cheek. Her soft warm palm feels so cosy at this time when I'm exhausted. I wanted to tell her to keep caressing my cheeks with her soft delicate palm. However, something inside me doesn't allow me to draw her closer.
"Please Divya", I shove her hand away. "There can be nothing between us"
"But I wasn't at fault. I can't carry the burden of your mistakes every time. I'm ready to forget everything that happened but I can't forget this. Why did you get married to me? Just to torture me like this?", she raises her voice but soon she realizes everyone is sleeping. She lowers her tone again. However, she again starts sobbing.
"Enough, Divya", I shrug while whispering. She is less than 5 inches away from me. I lean down to her and gaze at her angrily. "It wasn't my fault too. I never knew you would be so generous or I can say I didn't know you would be so stupid to marry me after all that shit"
I behave ruder than yesterday with her. She freezes with my words, her eyes helplessly look for some concern into my eyes. But I'm in no mood to give her or show her that.
"Can't you forget everything?", she whimpers.
"No, I can't", I leave the chair and step towards my room, taking the jug. I don't look back at her still, I know she is crying more bitterly now.
I drank two glasses of water after coming inside. I hope her decision of staying with me changes after that. I know her well. Divya is not the girl who can tolerate all this crap every time. She is the girl who keeps her self respect on the top of her priority. It may be her biggest strength but I'm using it as her biggest weakness. I'm targeting her self-respect so that she stops chasing me and leave me for good. I hope that works.
I lay down my bed, looking at the ceiling. Last two days seem to be longer than a year for me. Things drastically changed for me within these damn two days. While thinking all this I fall asleep. My exhausted body finally gets some peace.
The alarm rings as I proceed my hand to turn it off. Like every day, I spend the next 10 minutes on bed, closing my eyes. Then I rub my eyes to wake up. I don't find Divya next to me when I open my eyes. I think she's gone, I tell myself. I hope she has gone after witnessing my harsh behaviour. She knows me well the way I know her. I expect her to remember that I don't change my decisions.
"You woke up?", I hear Divya's voice as she enters inside. Ugh! I forgot that she has changed now. I should change the image of her from my mind which I had set. I don't reply to her instead I pass her a rude glare. She doesn't seem to be affected by it.
She walks towards the mirror and takes the comb. I prefer to ignore her rather than thinking about all this. When I open my closet she calls me.
"Karan. Mom said you can't go to the office today", she says, making me surprised. I immediately turn to her and look at her through the mirror. I find her combing her hairs, her hairs are light brownish, I didn't notice that before. Well, she has changed her hair colour too. I don't know why I'm noticing all this. I scold myself and glare at her.
"But why?", I shrug
"I don't know", she says, applying something black on her eyelashes, I don't what that's called. "She just told me to say this to you"
"Did you tell her something?", I ask her, having strong doubts that she will try to influence my parents.
"About what?", she rolls her eyes and looks at me without turning through the mirror.
"About us", I spat.
"Us? Do you think I'm so shameless, Karan?", she raises her voice.
"Fine. So did you complain to her that I had my dinner outside yesterday?", I raise my eyebrows.
"I didn't complain about anything. She asked me if you had dinner last night. I simply told her the truth", She says, looking for something in her makeup kit. So she actually complained to my mom. Couldn't she lie to her? What was the point of exposing this?
"So, you forgot the basic manner of a husband and wife's relationship? You're leaking things to my parents which should be kept between us only", I am so mad at her right now. But she doesn't seem to show any interest. She focuses on her makeup more than the conversation.
"Divya!", I roar. "I'm talking to you"
"Uh! Sorry", she finishes applying the red lipstick on her lips. I won't deny that her lips look no less than rose petals. My gaze stuck on them for 10 seconds before she turns back to me.
"What did you just say? Husband and wife? But you don't accept it, no?", she frowns.
"Yes, I don't accept it", I stammer. "But until last night you were trying to be a good wife, now you're doing some shit. Was all this a drama?"
"It was not a drama Karan", her expressions suddenly changed as she took 2 steps towards me. "But I'm not willing to give more efforts if I don't get something in return", her gaze meets mine. Her eyes look appealing because of the light makeup. I try to compare this angry Divya with that old angry Divya. Though her eyes flared like before, I can resemble her to the old version of hers.
"Neither I'm providing you unnecessary efforts, nor I'm gonna leave all this, at least for my bua. I can't even imagine how she'll feel if my marriage breaks", she completes her statement and passes by me.
I must've known that she's trying to give this marriage a chance just for her family, otherwise, she would have left a long ago. However, now I'm tensed about facing my parents. I'm ready to take some backlash from them.
After taking a bath, I move to the dining area. I find everyone having breakfast together. Dad is seated at his fixed chair, my brother is Rohan next to him, Divya is on the opposite side of Rohan. I sensed my home to be calm and peaceful again after the guests are gone.
"What's your next plan, Divya?", dad asks her as I hear them, reaching the table. I had to take a seat next to Divya to make it look normal though she didn't give a damn to me.
"I'm planning to join a tourist guide company. I'll be here in Rajasthan and it'll be easy for me to travel around", she smiles. She always dreamt to be an air hostess but her luck never supported her. She always told me she would be doing something in tourism.
"That's great. Tell me if you need any help", dad smiles back at her and his gaze moves to me. I immediately lower my eyes, waiting for a bundle of questions but he surprises me by saying nothing.
I quietly take a piece of bread and proceed my hand to get the butter but I can't reach it. Divya takes it and passes me without even looking at me. That's good. I can manage this, at least it's better than her typical wife stuff.
"Thanks", I take the butter.
"Where were you last night, Karan?", finally mom comes from the kitchen with this very expected question.
"I told you, mom. I had some urgent work", I gobble half of the bread, ignoring the sight of Divya.
"That's not an issue. But what was the need for having dinner outside on the first day of your marriage?", she takes the seat.
"Some friends insisted", I lie, discovering no expression on Divya's face. She looks uninterested in this topic.
"Do they have any sense left? And couldn't you stop them?", she shrugs.
"Leave that. He is mature enough to sense the situation. You can't put maturity inside him unless he wishes to do so", dad indirectly slams me. I say nothing and focus on breakfast again.
As Divya has stopped behaving bizarrely I was feeling better at home. She didn't show up in the room the whole day. Rohan told me another batch of neighbours had come to see her. Why not we organise a reception rather than inviting neighbours in instalment? Nonetheless, I kinda liked the day alone in my room, watching a few highlights of matches and eight episodes of a web series.
She comes to the room after the evening when I'm almost at the end of the web series. I glance at her, discovering her watching at me.
"Do you have a plan for dinner outside today also?", she asks me.
"No", I tell her, looking at the screen.
No more words are passed between us. After having dinner we get back to sleep without any arguments. She lays next to me, turning another side. I do the same. I don't remember when I fall asleep.
"Karan!", I hear a familiar girly voice and wake up. It's again her. I instantly get up and rub my forehead with my fingers. This incident is not new to me at all. Her voice calls me every night. And I'm used to it. I don't feel sleepy anymore. Therefore, I get up and walk towards the balcony. Divya is fast asleep. I try to open the door of the balcony, making less sound.
The moon shines brighter today, so as the stars. I smile at them and sit on the swing that was placed in the balcony.
"I miss you Meera", I mumble as my eyes moistened, thinking about her.
KaranI feel something heavy on my heart as I recall Meera. Neither I know where she is now nor I know why she left me like this. It's been 6 months she didn't show up. I tried to find her in almost every possible places. But she was gone. I had imagined my whole life with her. A guy like me completely changed himself only for her. I became serious in studies and my career just to secure the future with her. I never knew she would ditch me like this. I had never expected this from the girl I loved the most in the world.I'm not sure when I started crying. As soon as a teardrop falls on my hand I realize that I was weeping. This happens almost every night. I dream of her and wake up with her voice. I can't sleep the whole night, thinking about her. Though nowadays I'm handling myself well, this marriage again cracked me up. When I was struggling to get over my recent
KaranShe tightens her grip around my torso. I can sense her calming down. She has stopped sobbing, resting herself in my arms as if she waited for this for a long time. Somewhere in mind, I also felt better after permitting her to come close to me. I wonder if it's the allowance for moving into a new life with her or just sympathy for her which I felt after witnessing her crying like this. "I love you, Karan", she moans into my arms, clasping my t-shirt tightly. I wish I could say that back to her. Every girl deserves to hear those three magical words from her husband. Yet, we don't count among those couples. "It's too late, let's go to bed", I suggest her, lightly caressing her hairs. Her hairs feel smoother and silkier than before.
KaranIt has been 2 hours Divya left for her aunt's home. Mom said she will be back in two days. My leave will also end after 2 days. I have no other work except for sitting idle at home and watching a new web series. However, I'm not feeling like watching one.I'm strolling at our garden as it was feeling cold inside the room. Winter is almost here. I'm enjoying the light sun rays which are warming me at the same time reminding me of the golden complexion of Divya. It seems so weird that I'm thinking about her continuously for the last four days. No matter how much negative or positive my thoughts are, she is always there.Meanwhile, my chain of thoughts breaks with a call. I pick out my cellphone from my pocket and receive it.<