Chapter 4 - Regrets

Freya’s P.O.V

Nerves. I was just a big old pile of nerves. I chuckled to myself as I walked towards the road. The road I had found Emma on all those years ago. Glancing back both of my beautiful daughters were in tow, Emma looked excited to start this new chapter in our lives. She was never suited well to this nomadic lifestyle, Sera looked torn. I could tell there was some excitement there but the anger she still held against Erik was clear as day. I sighed thinking about him again, no matter how much time had passed he was always on my mind. Through all the pain, anger and sadness his voice still haunted me.

“I promise, I will love you forever. You are my mate”

That lie he told me over and over again played in my head. I bit my lip willing it away, imagining a mini-me inside my mind shoeing him away making me chuckle. As much as I hated to admit it I still loved him. I never had the strength to look at another man. Perhaps that was the mate bond at work, I’m not sure. Sighing internally I let a single tear leave my eyes thinking about what could have been. If only he had never cheated on me. I could have stayed and dealt with his father, with the pack rules. With all the hate that was thrown at me from his mother. But watching him flirt with that woman, then feeling through the mate bond as he had his fun with her body that was too much. I remember the disgust and bile as he did it. The pain in my heart, and the feeling of my soul tearing. The mark he had given me on my neck declaring me as he vanished as I called out my rejection of his claim. My mother had given me the knowledge of separating the claim just in case before she had passed. I felt some pain at the time however it was nothing compared to the sensations I had to experience from him being with another. I ran from the home we had shared in his pack's territory. Refusing to let him see my pain, thankfully Glen lived close by at that time within the human town. I did not regret my actions from that day however I did regret not allowing him to be a part of Sera’s life. I just could not bear the thought of having to see him again. As well as seeing that hatred from both his parents and pack at her for being a half-blood.

I glanced back again at the girls to make sure they were keeping up with me, although my body had started to age my strength remained. Witches do not have a long lifespan like others. We do live longer than typical humans, normally till 120 ish. My girls assumed I was in my 40s which would be true if I were human, I was closer to 90. Sera’s angered eyes met mine, hers a reflection of my own thoughts. I gave her a reassuring smile hoping she had not noticed my tears. I never intended for her to find those letters. I never wanted her to hate him, or really know him. Not until I was ready to tell her everything about him. Up until she was 13 I thought truly the wolf genes had skipped her and had hoped that I would not need to discuss her father till she was much older. Perhaps I could have held off till she was to have kids herself so I could warn her of the possibility of the wolf gene. Alas, the Goddess had other plans. On her 13th birthday, her eyes glowed as she began growling and shaking in pain. My heart had stopped for a moment thinking ‘oh crap’ she is going to turn in the house and who knew how big her beast form would be. But she did not. I spent the night with her waiting, getting her to drink all sorts of herbal remedies to ease the pain but she would not turn. The next morning when I asked if she had another voice inside her mind she was confused, and I had to explain everything I knew to her. After that, I read as many books as I could get my hands on. Trying to find answers to why she could not complete the transformation. My coven was no help, we witches are nomadic by nature and most of our knowledge is from books we share amongst ourselves during meetings.

Once I attended one of their meetings. Serina our youngest member held most of the knowledge on werewolves. Typically the changes happened at 16 sometimes later depending on genetics but wolves that could not complete the change by their 20th birthday died. With that information, I had no choice but to suck up my pride and contact the only person I knew could help her, her father. I had told him a lot as the only communication my heart could handle was letters. I had every intention to tell him what was happening but I couldn’t bring myself to. I felt like he would blame me for leaving, that it was my genetics that caused Sera to be unable to complete the change. There was next to no information on children of both witch and werewolf decent, most children took after the witch’s side.

A small 4 door green hatchback was waiting by the road, Glen stood next to the car waiting for us. He had not changed a day since our last meeting. His warm brown eyes connected with mine as his smile grew

“FREYA!”

He ran and hugged me tight, he was much taller than myself around 6’1 so he had to bend to reach my 5’8. I laughed and returned his hug before pulling away, he was still super lean however I could see the glimpse of lean muscle forming.

“Glen, look at how big Sera and Emma are now”

 He turned his full attention to the girls looking them up and down

“Wow, Freya you managed to grow 2 absolute Goddesses, not that I expected anything less”

He wolf-whistled before chuckling.

“Come here you too!”

He held his arms open for a hug. Emma the sweet girl wasted no time and hugged him tightly but Sera did not move. I lifted my eyebrow at her as her eyes narrowed,

“I’m sorry I don’t really give hugs unless it's EmEm”

Sera responded sharply, putting her hands in her pockets. 17-year-olds I swear. Before I could say anything Glen laughed and smiled

“That’s okay, I’m not a hugger either really”

I chuckled and opened the boot of his car before putting my bag in

“Bags over girls”

Emma and Sera handed me their belongings. Emma opened the back door nervously,

“I haven’t been in a car since… that day.”

Her voice was a whisper that I almost did not hear. I reached out to comfort her however Sera beat me to it. I watched as Sera hugged her tightly before whispering that she would keep her safe. My heart swelled watching my daughters exchange such care and love. I looked over to see Glen smiling ear to ear as well,

“Freya, they are adorable! Can I have them?”

I laughed at his sincere face. Glen was my childhood friend, we grew up in the same coven and he had always wanted kids. Kids and a husband were all he wanted to talk about when we were teenagers. His current partner Peter, did not want kids. It hurt my heart a little knowing he may never get to be a dad. The girls might not remember, Glen would visit weekly to spend the day playing with them growing up. Peter had, unfortunately, put a stop to that when Sera had turned 14,

“Do you girls remember the Swan Songbook I used to read to you?”

Glen asked looking at both girls expectantly. Emma had her brows furrowed trying to recall however Sera’s face lit up as recognition happened

“Uncle G?”

 She asked excitedly.

“Yes, you remember me!”

Glen’s voice was so happy, Sera quickly ran to Glen and gave him a bear hug

“I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you! I’m so sorry!”

Glen hugged Sera back smiling

“It is okay, I knew you might not.”

Emma still looked a little confused,

“Uncle G used to bring those cookies and cakes remember little one?”

 I whispered into her ear helping her recall.

“Oh yes! They were the best”

She gasped and licked her lips,

“Glen you didn’t happen to bring any with you did you?”

We all broke into giggles, as Glen pulled a sleeve of Oreos from his car. I sighed trying to memorize this perfect moment. Knowing that both of the girl's worlds were about to be turned upside down, I didn’t even know how to explain pack life to them. I could only hope that Erik would receive the letter I sent last week before we arrived so I wouldn’t have to talk to him.