When I got out of the shower and ventured downstairs, Dez was already home and starting to prepare supper.
“How was school?” He asked as he pushed some vegetables my way to cut up.
“It was ok… not as daunting as I thought it would be, kept my mind busy anyways, how was work?”
“Work was good, but how can it not be,” he smirked and flexed his arm.
“Hmm,” I smirked at him, “looking a little small bro.”
“Straight for the throat huh?” He laughed, “You should start coming back with me,” he peeked up at me from cooking.
“Do you think I gained weight?” I blurted out, I don’t think that’s what he was implying, but it was still on my mind, and I knew he would be honest with me.
“What? No,” he scowled at me in confusion, “that’s not what I me-”
“I know,” I cut him off, “I’ve just been wondering lately, feeling sluggish, since I haven’t been training in months.”
“Sounds like you just agreed to train with me,” he winked, “I’ll start picking you up after school and we can alternate training days with running days.”
Well, that solves my Ryan problem, for now, at least Dez will understand if I can’t emotionally show up some days. Dez tends to plan these things for when I usually hang out with Ryan on purpose because he doesn’t like him. He tries to, but he’s always been the protective older brother, and that means no one is good enough for me.
I had to break it to Ryan the next day that Dez had the same idea, and was now forcing my hand in training with him, he couldn’t argue with it because he tries to stay in Dez’s good graces, but he wasn’t happy.
Dez was two years older than me, and we grew up in a house where my dad valued being a gym rat. When we were little, he put us in things like Karate class, but as we got older he put us in things like Jiu-Jitsu and Krav Maga. When we weren’t in classes, he encouraged us to keep up our cardio and strength training, which is probably the reason Dez got into the business.
Dez owned a personal training business, and while he worked for a gym right now, he had the ability to set his own hours and eventually planned to start his gym as well. All of my career goals aligned with something in the finance world, my high school classes were all math and accounting based. No one here even knew I was trained in all kinds of MMA, I could kick some serious ass, but it wasn’t something that I had a strong passion for like Dez.
I was so lucky to have Dez, not only was he truly the best big brother a person could ask for, but he was the only family I had left now. After dad, social services agreed to let me stay with him, I was only a few months away from turning eighteen anyways, and Dez had a job that supported us. There was money coming from dad’s life insurance as well, but all of that stuff was so messy, another thing I’m glad Dez was happy to deal with.
The days started to blur together and as the weeks went on, it seemed like the whole month had suddenly passed by. Life was back to our new normal, school seemed to be a better distraction than I thought it would be, and Dez kept me busy after school for the most part. I always knew he was larger built and bulky muscle wise, but when we went to the gym I had a new appreciation for just how large he was in comparison. I remember dad being this large, so I guess I always assumed every other guy who spent as much time in the gym as they did would be this large as well, but, they were not.
I was leaner and more defined than bulky, and I could tell several guys at the gym were trying to get close as I worked out, but Dez was quick to cut them off and redirect my attention by giving me a task I needed all my energy to focus on. He was pushing me extra hard lately, but my physical pain was a welcomed distraction, and it felt great to finally feel back in shape. I felt stronger, I ran longer, and it gave me the boost in confidence that I needed to hold my ground with Ryan.
He had become increasingly needy lately and I knew it was my fault, I wasn't great girlfriend material, I was emotionally distant and physically unavailable, so I tried to make more time for him. I made a point of spending at least two nights a week with him where we could just hang out, watch movies, go for a walk, anything to try and reconnect with him, but it always ended the same way.
He would start off trying to seduce me into having sex with him again, and when I denied him, he would make me feel guilty about it. He accused me of cheating on him once, said he felt like I wasn't in love with him anymore, he even told me to leave on several occasions, just to text me after and apologize for acting like such a jerk. All the drama would be followed up with him pouring his heart out to me, telling me how much he loved me and just wanted to be close to me, to show me how much he cared for me, then he would act as if nothing happened the next day when he came to pick me up.
Before I took a break from the world, I would have just let him have his way as it was easier than saying no. He was only ever concerned with getting himself off, it usually didn't take too long, and it was bearable because he was always sweet to me both during and after.
Most times I felt mentally checked out, I would think about other things while we had sex but made sure to throw in the odd moan to play my part. His affection could never pull me into the moment or erase the feelings that came after like it was dirty or shameful to be with him.
The distance from him over the summer only amplified those feelings, and I was stuck between my old feelings for him before we took that step, and dreading being left alone with him.
We all had exams coming up over the next few days and decided we would get together at Ryan's to study, relax, order some takeout, and maybe watch a movie later. I told Dez not to wait up when Ryan came to pick me up that morning, but I knew he would, he always did. Ryan drove us all straight to his house after school, his parents were out of town for the weekend so I was thankful that Jane and Matt were here with us. We all spent a few hours studying and quizzing each other back and forth before the pizza arrived and prompted a well-needed break. Ryan and Matt followed it up by playing some game on his Playstation, while Jane was telling me about this guy she's into at school and her plan to catch his attention before the winter formal. It didn't surprise me much to learn that he had a girlfriend already, Jane was one of those girls who thought t
I could feel my tears forming in my eyes, thinking he would do this again and it actually happening were so different. He assumed I didn’t know how to fight back when in reality I could have laid him out flat by now and left him a sobbing mess, but I didn’t want to be that person. "Get off me before I break your face Ryan," I spat through my teeth at him with a tensed jaw, I didn’t want this to escalate but he was taking things too far. He hadn’t noticed or didn’t care that I was giving clear signs I didn’t want him to touch me. “Before you what?” He grabbed my chin in one of his hands as his eyes darted back and forth over mine. I had never spoken to him like that, and he didn’t know what to do. “I want to go home,” was all I said back to him. “No one’s
The next morning was exhausting, the exam really drained me more than I thought it would, although it’s possible that this looming conversation with Ryan was the culprit. When I turned the corner to the field Ryan was already sitting on the bleachers, running his hand through his blonde hair, which he never did. He was looking at the ground, and I felt guilty for a second for how rough he looked. “Hey,” I squeaked out as I climbed up to him. “You came!” He jumped up and pulled me into him. “I said I would,” I pushed him back a bit and sat down, “what did you want to talk about?” “You know I’m sorry,” he started, “but I just don’t understand babe, like why you won’t have sex with me anymore, why yo
Dez ended up finding us a place fairly quickly, said he found a smaller city that needed another gym but they wanted someone in the space ASAP. We ended up moving just after Halloween, it was a full day of driving but as soon as we left I felt lighter. Dez looked happy, and I was glad that we could do this, we both needed a fresh start. Our new place was on the edge of the city, the houses were spaced out a bit more and it was surrounded by a beautiful tree line. The house itself was amazing, the driveway was large enough for two vehicles, and when you walked in the front there was a large entranceway with another set of doors that led into the house. There were stairs that led both up and down, where if you went up to the left you would find the living room, and if you went right there was a hallway that led you to the kitchen and dining room and then carried on to the bathroom and two bedrooms. The base
"I'm, I'm so sorry," I stuttered as I realized the thing I ran into was actually a person. I looked up to see a tall man in a suit with brown eyes so light in the middle it was almost golden. "It's fine," his voice was monotone as it ripped me from my embarrassing trance and he stepped to the side and kept walking completely unphased. I found their building not too far from where I was, the front was basically a giant window, which would be awesome for them in terms of advertising what they are, and drawing people in. Dez and Nathan seemed deep in conversation, I paused and debated going in at all, but I couldn't help wondering if all the men here were going to be this handsome. Nathan was no exception with his bright blue eyes, strong jawline, and dirty blonde hair that was short on the sides, but long enough to swoop slightly over on top.
“I promised Dez,” I started as I put my hands in between us and gently pushed on his chest, backing him up. “Ugh,” he sighed, taking another step back and running his hands through his hair, “me too.” I was glad for Dez’s interference at this moment because I don’t know what I’d be doing if he hadn’t said anything to us. It was different with Nathan, it seemed easier to feel attracted to him and he never got upset when I pulled away, he just accepted it. We went back inside for a bit before Lilly, the only one of us who chose to stay sober, offered to drive some of us home. Lilly always looked serious and intimidating with how gorgeous she was, she truly looked like a model, flawless and edgy, you’d never know how sweet she was. She acted like she was the one who was intimidated by me, handing me comp
“Yea, well, my last relationship ended kinda messy before we moved,” I started before Savannah could push the Nathan subject more, “I don’t think I want to jump into another one, and Nathan’s nice, but he’s also Dez’s business partner. Plus, Dez already gave both of us the talk about not starting anything with each other, soooo… that’s not happening.”“Nathan is pretty obsessed with you,” she started as she looked half sympathetic over the whole messy situation but crushed my hopes that she would drop the subject, “I don’t think a talk from Dez is gonna stop him. Him and Mike have been friends forever, and Mike told me that every conversation leads back to you.”“Exactly,” I said, “imagine things not going well, it would mess up friendships, their work,
The next couple of days seemed to fly by, Dez was so busy at the gym and I had a bunch of papers due soon for school that I was laser-focused on until they were done. I was in town on and off to go into work, I had to do some filing in the office and pick up a laptop to be able to remote in from home when needed. Savannah had tried to message me a few times just to hang out, but I pushed her off hoping she would understand, and it wouldn’t ruin how things were going between us.I was trying to put the finishing touches on a paper when there was a knock at the door, but when I opened it, I wished I wouldn’t have. Connor was leaning against the door frame, in much more casual attir