Billy and I seem to have gotten into a nice little routine when it comes to sleeping together, as in actually sleeping, we don't even have to pretend we're not in the same house anymore, we just wait for my mum and William to go to bed and then one of us sneaks across the hallway, making sure to lock the bedroom door so we don't get walked in on while asleep.
I've not yet worked out what to tell my mum about the camping trip yet, but I've got to do it today since we're meant to be leaving tomorrow.
In the end I get Billy to drop me at Laura's so I can ask her for any ideas.
"Why don't you say we're going together? I could tell my parents the same and go stay in a hotel for the week." She blushes and I'm fairly sure she's got plans of her own forming in her mind that involve The Four.
The camping trip was brilliant, even though in typical English weather style it rained for most of the week.I was a little suspicious about why Elsie's friend's brother Dane really wanted to come, but as soon as they got there he spent the entire time flirting rather not so subtly with Jenny and since she ended up sleeping in a tent with him and driving home in his car, I'm pretty sure it went well.It's been lovely being able to be with Elsie out in the open for so long and I can't wait until she's left for university so we can be open about it the whole time, but I'm also starting to wonder what the big deal is with telling our parents. Now we know we're serious about one another, that is.I'm fairly sure my dad will be pissed, but he won't overreact like I thought he would originally.
If I thought my mum was angry when she saw us together in the room, it was nothing compared to the unrestrained fury on her face when we walk into the room hand in hand."You." She snarls, pointing her finger in Billy's face. "I warned you not to touch her.Do you have no conscience at all, using my own daughter to try to get me to split up with your father, and you..." She spins around, dropping her hand but glaring at me. "I warned you about what he was up to, he doesn't even like you. Are you really that desperate that you gave it up to the first boy who showed you any interest?""Hey." Billy shouts, pulling me into his side at the exact same time as his Dad steps forward, putting his hands on her shoulders."Let's all sit, calm down and have an adult discussion, shall we?" He says, guiding my mum to the sofa.
Elsie runs a lot. She gets up at the crack of dawn and goes out for hours. She thinks I don't know, but I feel her get up, I don't know what to do to help, so I make her breakfast and then wait for her to come back."Morning." She grins when she comes back in, which is why I don't fight it. She always looks so much happier after she's been running."Morning, your breakfast await my dear." I bow and stretch my arms wide, gesturing to the table which I've laid for the two of us.The whore is refusing to be in the same room as us in the hope it'll make Elsie feel guilty enough to end it with me, which I think is why she's running as much as she is. She's also forgetting to eat, which is another reason I'm making her breakfast every day."Apple or orange?" She asks, peering
I wake up in the hospital and very quickly a sense of dread settles in my stomach when I realise where I am and what happened. I went too far! Stupid! I know my limits, I shouldn't have pushed myself so far! "Oh baby, you're awake." My mother stands up, fussing around me like she hasn't ignored my existence for the last week. "As soon as the doctor says it's ok, I'm going to take you home, ok? Mummy's here and she'll look after you." "Where's Billy? Does he know I'm here?" I try to sit up, but my mum presses on my stomach, keeping me in place. "He was flirting with the nurses, arranging to see them after their shifts, so I told him to go home." She says, looking at her hands as she smoothes the blanket over me.
Laura and I grabbed a drink and some chips in the cafeteria, then took it in turns to go to the window overlooking the car park and check whether the Whore's car was still there. It was dark before Laura came back, telling me the spot was empty and we made our way back down to Elsie's room. The nurse glances our way, opened her mouth but then shut it again, glancing around the room and then gesturing at us to carry on. The relief I felt upon seeing her awake and sitting up in her bed, quickly vanished when the brief look of elation she always has when seeing me, disappeared into a mask of sadness. "Els, what's going on? What've they said? You're ok aren't you?" I must have flown to her side, because I'm holding her hand trying to lace my fingers with hers but she's p
My mum and William came to pick me up earlier, there was a tense atmosphere between them which they seemed to want to avoid by both of them talking to me, asking how I was. They wouldn't stop, asking the same questions over and over again, it was obvious it wasn't because they really wanted to know, they just needed to fill the uncomfortable silence between them, so I told them I was tired and pretended to fall asleep in the back of the car. "She looks awful Carly, really thin." William says in a hushed voice. "And I suppose that's my fault too, is it?" She snaps back at him. "Billy says she's been stressed and this is how she deals with it? It's written all over her face, even when she's asleep, look at her Carly." He pauses and sighs. "I wasn't happy with the idea of them being together either, but
"Dad, Carly, I'm just popping out to Luke's for a bit, do you need anything?" I ask as I pass the doorway. It's killing me to be nice to the whore, but I've been thinking about what Elsie said yesterday.She thought we were hurting too many people and it wasn't worth it, that still feels like a dagger in my heart, but I'll have to show her she's wrong. And, since my dad seems ok with us now, that just leaves her mum, so if I have to behave differently, be respectful or whatever to the whore, to get her to accept us being together and leave Elsie alone, then I will."No, thanks, Bill lad, you have fun. Oh, how are you feeling?" My dad twists in his seat and gives me a warm smile. Ever since I had my little breakdown with him yesterday, he's actually been acting like a caring father, checking on me, asking about how I am and actually sounding like he's interested
A quiet peace seems to have descended on the house since I came home. I told my mum I was still feeling unwell and didn't feel up to school this week, saying Laura had agreed to bring me the homework on Friday and she's in such a good mood, she agreed to it.As soon as she and William leave for work, I sit downstairs, watching out of the window for the post to arrive, waiting for the DNA testing kit. Billy offered to stay, but I told him to go to school. I'm trying to turn off my feelings, which is easier when he's not around.He's still in his room though, so I think he's waiting for the kit the same as I am.At around eleven thirty I see the postman pull up outside and I'm already opening the front door before he gets there."Morning, are you waitin