What I find when I look at him is nothing but sweetness. I watch her mouth closely and an uncontrollable urge to taste her takes over me. His lips look very kissable to my eyes, extremely inviting. Will, you need to control this insane desire, you are not Wanchai, and he is not Thirasak. I can't, it's stronger than me, I approach him a little, shortening the small distance between us even more, he continues to stare at me as if he's been waiting for me. I bring my face closer to his, and before I take any action, my phone rings.
I reach into my pocket for it, and Nate quickly unbuckles the belt. I look at the viewer, “my father”. Before I say a word, he steps forward.
— Will, thanks for the ride! We'll see you tomorrow...
— OK, bye!
[...]
Trying to quiet my mind after something upsetting is almost futile no matter how hard I try, the image of his face next to mine, and those damn lips comes to my mind, and I don't know what to think. I remember that I was in a similar situation, but this time, I don't know, there's something different. I'm looking for something to do on my cell phone, maybe the music will help, since my mind doesn't want to stop, watch, or read something is out of the question. I put the App on random.
Probably because of the time we've known each other,
Or maybe because of the emotions that rack my mind...
NO, NO, NO! The music isn't helping either, it seems like a big plot. I get up, walk to the porch door next to my bed, open it and step outside. I lean over and stare into the darkness of the night. I take a deep breath, close my eyes and try to clear my mind, but I hear someone knocking on my door. As soon as I open the door, Lyn bursts into my room as if it were her own. Lie on my bed, stare at me with that usual, investigative look.
— So how's Thirachai's relationship going? I shake my head in denial, and stick my tongue out at her, who smiles shamelessly. — It's no use making that face, it's been a while since we talked, and I'm here for that!
— You're wasting your time, I'm tired, I want to sleep!
— It doesn't matter, I'll stay here anyway! Do you know I've been reading the novel?
— What novel?
— Don't be an idiot! You know very well that I'm talking about Fake D8!
— Okay, so what?
— I've never been interested in this type of content, but as you are working in the series that is an adaptation of the novel, I decided to read it.
— And what did you think?
— I think your character lives in an eternal state of denial.
— As well?
— It was very clear to me that he had a crush on Thirasak since their first meeting, and that thing about pretending they were boyfriends so everyone at the university would believe he was an irresistible guy, and every being that breathes, is crushing on him. , was whatever excuse Wanchai came up with to flirt with Thirasak, don't you think?
— I had that impression too!
— AThroughout the story, the time they spend together, Wanchai keeps trying to hide what he feels, and fails miserably with that, because he's more and more in love!
— I thought the same too, and maybe he does because it's hard to get out of that state and accept that your heart beats faster for a guy!
— It is true. You know, reading the novel, I remembered you! — that was all that was needed, for her to compare me to Wanchai.
— Why?
— You were interested in a boy when you were in your last year of school, and he seemed to feel the same way about you, too, and...
— Here you come with this story...
— Stop being silly... At that moment you were in denial, and you stopped living something that could be in the good memories of your memory. The boy transferred from school when he found out you were dating that girl... Something so useless, Will!
— I liked her!
— No, you didn't like her! It served as a crutch for you to lean on, because just like your character, you were in denial, but Wanchai was able to accept that he liked Thirasak. But and you?
— Me what?
— How long will you live in denial?
[...]
WillI argued with my sister over her insistence that I'm in denial. I spent the night thinking about what he said, and I came to the conclusion that I was an idiot in the past, and out of fear I didn't experience that "possible relationship" during the end of high school. But and now? How do I feel about my co-star? Is it just enthusiasm? Is it the closeness that makes me think of Nate differently?I don't know what I feel for him, but I know that being by his side makes me very happy. Every time I make him smile, it makes me feel light. Hearing his voice telling funny situations from his life while having dinner is perfect. I observe every detail of her face that makes me enchanted, her eyes are an intense brown, and they look at me with an expression of happiness. He smiles when he hears me say any nonsense, and it infects me, sometim
Will— What? Did you dream about me?— Did I say that? It's not me...— You did, but… — Before I finish my sentence, his phone goes dead, and that unbearable sound echoes in my ear. There's no way Nate could have hung up the phone in my face!I really can't believe he did that. Tried calling back but the phone seems to be off, won't ring. If I was already shaken, I was even more so after his confessions. What does he want? Drive me crazy or something? He said he dreamed of me, and maybe he was embarrassed by what he said, or by the dream?
Will“Mom, I...”My breath quickens, I open my eyes and realize that it was all a dream. I sit up in bed, my breathing still rapid. I take a deep breath and try to calm down. A feeling of frustration washes over me. It's not possible that this was all a dream, it was so real! My fingers touch my lips, I close my eyes and the whole scene plays out in my mind. If I keep having dreams like that, I'll go crazy.I leave the dressing room straight to the recording set. I walk there with great anxiety, we will record the kiss scene, and the kisses we exchanged in this last dream don't leave my head. I arrive on set, and the scene takes place in Wanchai's room, and Nate is sitting on the bed talking
WillThe kiss scene was re-shot four more times, P'Tan looked dissatisfied and wanted multiple angles of the kiss, Nate didn't complain, and I didn't. But the seemingly desperate, wild way it took my mouth ended up leaving marks, my bottom lip bruised and a little swollen. Despite that, I'm not going to lie, I enjoyed the feel of his mouth touching mine, I maintained enormous self-control. Congratulations, Will!I left the set, looking for some ice so it wouldn't swell even more. I walk down the long hallway until I reach the dressing room door. In the corner there is a fridge, I open it and there is no ice, I ask the makeup artists where there is ice, and one of them tells me I should look for the cafeteria, or the production room. I leave the dressing room, and I almost bump into the person who wanted to devour my mouth.
WillThe feeling of emptiness still settled inside me, Nate's words echoing in my mind. "I'm straight, I'm straight!", "I was always sure of that, but now... No, it's wrong!", and it makes me think about so many things, everything I believed before, his speech is the same as mine, it was... I don't believe it anymore. I remember my older sister, Sunee, who once told me how hard it was to accept that she liked girls, how wrong she thought she was, and how liberating it was for her when she was finally able to experience her love.I can't lie, I've lied before when I was interested in a boy in the past, I'm not that 17 year old anymore, four years have passed, I feel a slight reg
WillThe argument with my parents made me more vulnerable. My night was terrible, their words hurt me, I thought about so many things, about my sister Sunee, about my acting career, about the series, about my character, and especially about Nate. I walk slowly, I feel like I'm dragging myself to the dressing room, I think I should have stayed home.— Good morning, girls! I say, the girls smile, and they all answer me, I sit down while one of them takes care of my skin. She looks at me, stops, and speaks.— What 's? You're always smiling, you look downcast!— It's nothing, I'm just a little tired! — As I say this, someone enters the dressing room, greets people, and I
WillAnd I couldn't finda safe havenTell me would you let me cryOn your shoulder?I'm only twenty years old, and all this time I was led to believe that many things were wrong, and I never questioned myself, after all my parents were my guides, and as a good son who obeys everything without question, I always did what they wanted . All this until I understood that something important to me, like acting classes, was something unimportant, and would not bring anything relevant to my life, according to them.I continued with drama classes, and this was the first time I disobeyed, however I let myself be influenced by the
Will— So I just need to get my camera... Will you wait for me? I shake my head in a positive sign.It doesn't take long for him to return bringing his camera, something I've discovered recently, he loves to photograph, usually very random things. I look at him, he smiles, and puts the object in the backseat, looks at me and we continue our journey into the unknown, at least for me.— What do you intend? Can you tell me where we're going?— You're very impatient, but that's okay! Tell me something, what do you know about Bangkok?— Some temples,