Day of the accident (27 July)
“Hey mom, is El ready?” Jer asked mom as he took a seat near the island in our kitchen. Jer came to take me out to a party of a friend of his.“I think so, she was looking for her purse a few minutes ago.” my mom replies as she tosses an apple to Jer.“I swear you are growing taller by the day.” Mom says standing on her tip toes ruffling his hair. I walk into the kitchen in my black skinny jeans and a plainwhite tee paired with white Nike snickers.“You could have at least tried to look nice,” Jer says and I hit his head with my purse.“Ow, that hurts you. Dweeb!!!” he says scratching his head.“Serves you right.” I say and mom just laughs it off and kisses both of us goodbye.“Make sure you guys are home by midnight.”“Yes, mom.” Jer says saluting mom.“And make sure you drag El everywhere you go, she tends to be a loner at times.” my mom says whispering a bit at the end.“MOM!!!!!!” I say rolling my eyes.“Can you drive, I feel so out of it today.” Jer says as we exited the house. “You promised to drive me everywhere, are you backing out on your word?” I ask him raising my right eye brow.“Fine, I am not backing out.” he says and we get into our car.“What’s wrong El?” Jer asks as soon as he sees me rubbing my temples.“I don’t know I just feel uneasy, why don’t we just skip this one Jer?” I ask him and he shakes his head no.“Okay, this will be our last party. No more parties I swear.” he says pinky swearing with me. Neither of us knew how true Jer’s statement was at the time.On our way to the party“Just admit it you like her; I see the way you look at her.” I tease my best friend as he drove us to the party.“Of course not, I do not like her. She confessed on graduation day and I told her l was seeing someone.” Jer says.“Oh, my word!!!! Are you for real?” I ask him and he nods.As someone who liked speed, Jer was traveling at 200km/hr and I did not mind since the road was very wide, I was actually enjoying myself. I took out my phone to see if Jason had texted back.“Of course, he didn’t text back, it’s Jason we are talking about.” Jer says looking over me for a split second.Before I could even think of a comeback a dog just ran into the road from nowhere and I screamed.“JER LOOK OUT!!!” and when he did, he swerved the car to the right and we went straight into a food truck that was in the right lane.When they make accident scenes in movies, they make it seem like one has all the time in the world to make split second decisions that results in no casualties but that couldn’t be further from the truth.One moment the road was there, wide open and safe, the next I was screaming for Jeremy to look out and I saw was black.Sirens woke me up.“Miss!!Miss!! Can you hear me.” a voice says.Who is the person talking to?“Ma’am I am going to try and rip the door to take you out. Don’t move.” the same voice says. The voice seems to be clearer now andso are the sirens.Police and Ambulance sirens.A few seconds of trying to comprehend where I was, something that was shielding me seems to have been removed and a breeze of air comes in contact with my skin.I feel myself being dragged out of the seat I was seating in, my eyes try adjusting to my surrounding as l look back into whatever it was that I was in.A car.I see a hand fall on the seat, on the hand is a black and whitebracelet. The bracelet looks familiar, even the car looks familiar now that I was a bit far from it. A few seconds of cranking my head to recognize my surroundings,flashes from half an hour ago flood my mind.I remember that I was in a car with Jeremy going to a party.JEREMY,Where is he?Why am I not hearing his voice or seeing him anywhere?I snap back to reality and I break out of the grasp of the person who was holding me.“Jeremy! Jeremy!” I scream running back to the black Cadillac, our car.“Stop her!!!” someone shouts but I keep on going, the moment I reach the car I open the door and what I see has me tongue tied. On the driver’s seat laid Jeremy, blood all over him; a sharp, deep cut on the hand that had the black and white bracelet (ourfriendship bracelet). I looked at my wrist but there was nothing.I could not believe Jeremy was laying there, a black triangle near him and his left wrist had a black cloth tied on it.What did it mean?I shake him multiple times to wake him up. I could feel that his presence was no longer there, but I kept shaking him vigorously calling out his name. I could not come to terms with the fact that he was not waking up, I opened my mouth to scream and let it all out.But to my surprise nothing came out, all I did was open and close my mouth without producing any sound. Tears uncontrollably coming out.The previous man who had taken me out of the car came to take out once again.There is a time in one’s life that everything finally registers and they see things as they are, that time came for me sooner than I could decipher.And I just let the man drag me, all my willpower gone, lost, vanished.The trembling from the tragedy stopped, the tears ceased and I came undone seeing black once more but not before I see the car blowing up in flames.Icing on the cake.AUTHOR’S POVA week later“Jeremy!!! Jeremy!!! you can’t leave me. No, no, no!!” El screamed in her sleep.“El, El.” her mom called going to her side.Elicia wakes up to mom, dad and Ryan in Cedars Sinai Medical Centre.“You are okay honey, it’s okay. Please don’t cry.” Her mom says wiping her tears but all she could do was nod unable to say anything.After a couple of minutes of whispering soothing words to her daughter, the doctor came in.“Dr. Rae and Mr. Rae can I talk to you for a moment?” Doctor Hale asked and they both agreed. “Dr. Martin is a friend of the family; he can also join.” Carol, Elicia’s mom said to the doctor who in turn nodded.They made their way to Dr. Hale’s office.“I know you have all been seeing how Elicia has been doing for the past week. She hasn’t been responding to any stimulants to retrieve her memory nor is she talking. She isn’t even past the shock of the accident; I am not sure I can be of any help.” The doctor conveyed being very careful with his words.“I am a doctor too so; l am very much aware of what is needed to be done.” Carol mentioned. “I will inform Doctor Jane to take her in.” Dr. Hale said andeveryone nodded.Doctor Jane was a psychiatrist at Cedars Sinai Medical Centre. A few days passed and Elicia was still not talking nor was she staying awake for more than two hours.Ryan, Carol and Elicia’s dad ended up proceeding with the Jeremy’s funeral plans without Elicia and after the funeral they all tried to get back on track with their lives.“Elie, how have you been doing?” Ryan asked as he approached Elicia’s bed at the psych ward. Elicia just stared at him without offering a response.“I know you think it’s your fault what happened with Jeremy but I assure you it’s not. There is a time for everything. Of course, it is hard for us all to have lost him all of a sudden but please get better.If he was here; he wouldn't want you to be like this.” Ryan said and placed a soft kiss in Elicia’s hair. Three more weeks passed completing the month of July and Elicia seemed to be getting better, she started eating, taking walks around the hospital and the nightmares lessened.“Upon normal responses to surroundings, people and medication I usually recommend discharge and visiting a therapist but I think she should spend two more weeks here to make sure the nightmares are gone because I do not want change of environment to damage the progress. I hope you understand.” Dr Jane said to both of Elicia’s parents.After agreeing Dr. Jane recommended Lydia Patrovka as she was the best therapist in California.“I think Lydia will take better care of Elicia; they do not call her the best in California for nothing. I will send Elicia’s file to her and she will be expecting you.”“Thank you very much, Dr. Jane, this means a lot.” El’s mother said.“No need to be so formal, you do a lot of work here Dr Rae.” Dr Jane acknowledged Elicia’s mom.Mid-August, after two weeks El was discharged and went home, both parents were happy with the progress even if it was minimal. Carol, Elicia’s mom went to see Lydia Patrovka before her daughter started her session to get her perception of her daughter’s state.“Good afternoon, Dr. Rae you can take a seat.” Lydia acknowledged Carol’s presence as soon as she got in.“I don’t even know what to say, what do you think will happen to my day? Do you think she will overcome this?” Carol bombarded Lydia with questions.“To be honest with you, this journey is solely hers and no one else. I do admit it’s rather difficult to tell how she will deal with it because I have no idea of how she perceives life.” Lydia says and she goes on to add, “But I believe she will overcomeeither way, nothing lasts forever.”“I read she applied at UCLA for the fall quarter I hope you don’t intend on sending her to school in the current state she is?”“Of course not, she is likely to take a gap year.” Carol makes it known to Lydia.“Good then, I would want to see her every day if possible. Leaving Sunday assuming it’s a family day.”“Of course,” Carol mentions.After the talk with Lydia, Carol went home with a glimmer of hope.I wonder if anyone knows that the end of a car accident is the beginning of hell, recovery and endless pain.Yet the road remains the same and people continue driving through it.Apparently a month and two weeks later, the mid September; the month I was supposed to be at UCLA (University of California and Los Angeles) with Jeremy I was seated in front of a woman named Lydia. Late thirties, slim, dirty blond hair and very beautiful. She had a welcoming aura around her at all times and she tried her best to get me to talk but she failed dismally for the past two weeks. Not that I did not want to talk because I wanted to but I could not.I do not know what was happening to me it was as if I had lost the ability to produce sound. “Your mom said you had a nightmare yesterday, what was it about?” “Did you have a dream about Jeremy?” She asks and I winced at the mention of Jeremy's name. It’s still difficult to believe that he was gone.“El, talk to me.” I just stare at her and she si
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••Journal entry 101 You showed up again today. The usual routine you climb up the stairs of the same unfinished building that is right across our house and you sit on the edge of the building.I get to see you every day for an hour and a half before you take off in your black Jeep.Most times you just sit and stare into space, thinking I guess.Sometimes you come to dress your wounds, and l wonder what causes them.They are not just minor wounds, they look deep and you wince every time you dress them.Who causes them, do you get into fights? Are you one of those boys that parents tell their daughters to stay away from?This time it's not an arm wound, a head wound rather it's an abdominal wound. It looks deep and painful.You close your eyes in pain as you let the alcohol sink in to wash off the cut, avoiding infections as well. How come you are so good at dressing yourself, l know
To pass the time before University as it was already October I decided to work at a nearby Café, Plaza Café; it was approximately 10 minutes from home and five minutes from my mom’s workplace Cedars Sinai Medical Centre.Sometimes my mom and her co-workers came to eat at the café. I started working at the Café to avoid staying at home alone it was becoming boring, worse without my best friend. Lydia recommended as it was something light, that would not trigger anything and she said and I quote ‘Keeping myself a bit occupied’.After Jace broke up with me I did not tell my mom because she would have ended up worrying about trivial things.I was surprised I handled the breakup well or maybe it was because I had already started noticing the distance Jace was keeping and braced myself. As l was driving home from work around 6 pm. l spotted rooftop from across the street holding a pink and purple heart-shaped balloon.A little girl probably around the age of 8 approached him with a huge c
I head home with a smile of victory and butterflies in my stomach.As soon as l got home, we made supper with mom and ate. “How was work?” she asked as we finished eating.“Work was okay, l came straight home after.” l said.“It usually takes 10 minutes but you took 25 today. Did you stop by somewhere?” she asks curious.“No l didn't l just came straight home.” Now that l think about it l spent more than 10 eavesdropping on his conversation, not that l heard anything.“Jason and Maddie came looking for you.” My mom informs me.“I told him not to come looking for me.” l say my voice distasteful.“You never told me what happened between you two. You and Jason were inseparable.”“l don't want to talk about it Ma.” l say and continue to eat.“How come Jason doesn’t come over anymore did you guys have a fight or something?” mom presses on.“Quit it ma, can't l have a quiet meal for once in my life? If you are not asking about my depression you are all into my business, just stop.” l say b
After he leaves the café, work goes as slow as it can get.Soon my shift is over and l head straight to Lydia’s office.“You look rather cheerful today, how about we unfold today’s events?” she asks.“I spoke to Rooftop!” I say more like yell in excitement.“Someone is excited.” She smiles and l smile as well.“This is progress, huh?” she adds.“I know right.” I say smiling to myself.“As much as l am glad seeing you happy I should not encourage this. It is good that you are speaking your mind now, being more open but investing your emotions into something or rather someone could bring you back to square one.” She says and stares at me intensely as if waiting for my reaction before she says something else.“Go on.” I urge her.“You seem to like this guy l can see that but it is not healthy. You don’t even know him well enough to feel anything for him. What if he wants nothing to do with you?”“Have you ever thought about that? This isn’t about you being involved with someone, you are
Today he was not treating any wounds, now that I think about it he had no scars when I saw him at the grocery store.His stepdad is no longer beating him up l guess or he is just on break from the beating or maybe the money he is sending is not short. As I am deep in thought l never noticed him looking in my direction.After winning my own battle in my mind I am brought back to reality to look at where he was sitting but my breath is caught in my mouth when I see him staring at me. I lose my balance and fall outside the window, lucky me the distance from my room to the ground is fair. I just scratch my knees and elbows but I do not even feel it because of the embarrassment I felt. I do not dare to go back to my room to check if he was still there instead I start watching TV eating my fudge cake and ice-cream.Embarrassment eating, if that's a thing.As I am eating I am interrupted by a knock on the door.I freeze afraid it was Treadway behind the door but to my disappointment it w
Journal entry 180TreadwayIt's funny how fate seems to be bringing you and me closer to each otherI like itI like you I hope l get to know you on a different level.I will not be stalking you anymore because I will have a right to ask about you since we are workmates now.You are now my workmate.Never in a million years did l think l would breathe the air of the same room with you for a whole day. Longer than that actually because we are now working together-------------------------------------------After work I did not get to see him because I was going to be late to pick up mom from work since her car had a flat tire.My mom and l got home and prepared dinner together.As we were eating."How was work?" I ask her."Work was okay l had one surgery today." She says as she smiles."One of the less busy days?" I ask her and she nods asking how my day was."You seem cheerful today, might I ask why?""No apparent reason, oh we have a new worker at the café. His name is Treadway."
Journal entry 201Dear TreadwayI have started calling you Way. You do not seem very fond of it because you correct me every time l say Way saying it's Treadway.I do not listen though because I want to be someone you think about. Every time you hear Way anywhere else you think of me. Selfish aren't l? I try talking to you on certain occasions but you keep the conversations professional, most of the times l do the talking.Not that you have a habit of ignoring people but I think you just don't talk a lot, you are reservedYou are also kind; I saw you buying a little girl who was short of money to buy a chocolate dipped éclair. You bought her three eclairs and I was pleased.I thought back to when I bought the energy drinks for you, I wonder if you thought of that incident too. I know you are kind, damaged people are not kind so, you are not damaged. There is still hope.I have asked you to have lunch with me a couple of times at work which in turn you decline politely. I don't