So we made our way to the table and sat down at our individual places, still wrapped up in the aura and air of ultimate freedom, peace, and happiness. There was never a moment that passed that made me believed that in all of everything that there was never a time for me and Isiaih, there was never a time that the both of us did not want each others' presence. The aroma from the food waft and the scent resided in my senses. Godness, I forgot how well that Zee could cook. Before Isaiah could say anything else, I already had a fork that was suspended in the air with rounds of spaghetti on it. The aim was to head into my mouth, but before I could fully slide it in, I looked up, only to see Isaiah staring back at me with an amused expression on his face, looking down at the feed of pasta in my hand. I laughed, placing the fork down, and looked back up at him. "What?"
Still smiling, he shrugged. "Please, no, by all means, eat. I know how hungry you must be." We shared a knowing loo
I took a deep exhale out, releasing all the pent up emotions that I seemed to be harboring nad storing deep within me. I had to tell him, I knew that. And I was going to, I was going to tell him. I gave him a small smile. "Isaiah, you know how much I love you, right? And you know how much I care about you, and I want you always, right by my side without fail-"Abruptly, he stopped my ranting, giving me a small brief smile. "I know." He grabbed my hand, and squeezed it tighter. "I know, Alexis. Please let me in, tell me everything. I want you to open up."I nodded, gifting him another small smile. "It is not very different to things encompassing and surrounding that, you know. I wanted you more than I wanted anyone else, there was never a situation or issue that I have ever had, that you were not there, guiding me through, helping me and being there for me. And without that, without you, and without your support it was hard to even function. I could not separate my feel
His eyes glazed a darker haze, as I could see clearly almost as clear as the bright blue sky during a warm, sunny day, I could see that he wanted me. As in he wanted every part of me, I could see the whole thing behind his eyes, and it made me feel as if he needed more, more than anything. And I would be lying if I said that I did not need him as well, I needed him more than I could even manage to say, I needed him as much as I could fathom to say. It was time, I was ready. I was ready to take that deep plunge. But behind all that hazy darkness, there was some doubt still lingering behind it, I mean it was soft, hazy but it was there. It was there, I knew it was, and I needed to reassure him, I needed to reassure him that aside of everything that he was the one, that he was the one that I wanted.So this was the only thing that I knew that I had to do, I held his face, with both hands clasped around his face. I was confident in it, I mean, I had to be, if I was not, eve
"Come here, Alexis." He held out an out stretched arm for me, and instantly without of moment's hesitation, I found myself learning closer in to it. Until I was nuzzled right up in him, until I was concoted in his embrace.He placed a light kiss at the top of my head. "I want you to know that you do not have to feel rushed that is the last thing that I want you to feel, it is not a competition, neither is it something that you can jump and dive to deep in to. You could change you mind, and then realize that you wanted to give it to someone else. Someone else that was not me-""No, that could never happen. It will always be you.""I know that Alexis, I do. But it does not change the fact that something could happen that could change the way you think, and it could alter who you would want to give it up to, but in all respect that it all okay as well. There is nothing that you need to worry about, neither is there anything that you need to know apart form be
"So I am going to ask again, Alexis. Are you sure that everything is okay? Are you sure that you have everything glued together. Because it is okay if you do not, it does not make you any less of a person. It will not change the way that I think about you, neither will it change the way any one thinks about you. You have to know that you will be loved, and that you will be cherished, no matter how you feel. No matter the state of mind that you are in right now.""There was always something about him that made me somewhat happy that there was someone else with me. Then I would know that I was not alone, then I would know that I had always had someone at my back, helping me. Guiding me through the struggles and through the hardships that life always bore me. I guess, I have never really been alone in the sense of things. That I have never really ever been where I was without someone always being there. Be that if it was Iisaih, Zee, Elijah. It was never without them, neither wa
So it has been a couple of days passed my chat with Anna. And it was clear that I still had to do everything that I was required to do. And that meant the talk, the speech in front of everyone that I was dreading more than anything. It was time, to do this speech, the speech that I was dreading, the speech that I knew that if I messed up then it would leave a lot of thoughts about me. Which would centralize around if I was fit, or worthy to hold up this, if I was the right pick for this. I would have said no, but then again. It was not as if I had a choice in the matter. Although, it made me wonder about a lot of things, it made me wonder about the lives that we all could have lived if someone else took my place. I mean, I know it was rare and that resources and finances and time was scarce, but would it not be worth it in the end? Would it not be worth it, if someone a lot more competent than me would take this upon themselves, I mean I knew what Anna was saying. I mean, I understo
I walked up further to the front of the stage, and I could feel the paper that I was currently holding in my hand shake, as in it was not the type of shake that would be easy to hide, it was clear and evident and very. very out there and it was that bad that I knew that I was struggling to keep myself still. I took a deep breath in and out, and then in again, thinking that would prove something, and hopefully that would calm me down. But to no avail, I felt myself trying to swallow down the upcoming bile that was raising steadily and rapidly in my throat. Come on, Alexis, come on you can do this. My eyes found Isaiaih's again as he gave me a small, encouraging smile, his blue eyes lightening up and he gave me a thumbs up. I smiled appreciably, and nodded, releasing the breath that I currently took in. I can do this. I know that I can.I looked down at the paper in front of me, and it was as if the words on the page started blurring and moving around everywhere. I was st
"Congrats, Alexis." I am so proud of you, Zee quickly engulfed me in a tight and quick hug, I almost felt as though I was suffocating, but if that was not enough to tell me how proud of me that she was, I really did not know what would. Right now, they decided conveniently, to hold an after party, as a sort of celebration for me, and the apparent hope that they now had, not as though I could be able to do everything by myself. It was not just solely and wholly me. It was not, and I do not think that it will ever be that. I had the help of Miss Smith, and everything surrounding that, without her, I do not think that I would have been able to reach this stage as I have done now. So, I have to give all my thanks and appreciation to her, and only her in my honest opinion. But they all insisted, and I would feel as though I was being ungrateful if I did not accept it. There was no teachers present, there was only agents, and soldiers, and Evan. Zee did the courtesy of collecting him from
There it was, the word vomit that was creeping up inside my throat, gear to escape, I knew that telling him the truth, and the end of things, would prove much greater than lying to him, just as I knew that the truth always had a nasty habit of leaking out, and against my better judgment, I knew against everything that I did, that the truth would eventually come out, whether I truly liked it or not. And I knew that deep down, there was nothing that scared me more than that. Nothing at all, so I took the deep dive, and I opened up emotionally, mentally and physically. I could tell that the heart was becoming very evident on my face because he looked at me, Isaiah looked at me, as if there was something deeper that he had to know. Both of his arms wrapped around my own, "Alexis." His voice dropped, the tone considerably lower than before, "What is the matter? Tell me, what is wrong?"I looked down, I could not bear anything in him to look him straight in his eyes, he lifted my h