Whatever amount of milk you feed a snake; it never leaves its habit of biting.
---------- Zara---------
"I WILL GO TO HIM. YOU CAN'T STOP ME. "
" IN THAT CASE, LET ME SHOW YOU WHOM YOU BELONG TO. "
"DON'T TOUCH ME WITH YOUR FILTHY HAND. "
"LEAVE ME... YOU ARE A MAN-WHORE... A BASTARD ... I HATE YOU ...LEAVE... WHAT ARE YOU DOING? "
"I'M DOING WHICH WILL REMIND YOU WHO IS YOUR HUSBAND."
Beep... Beep... beep...
My eyes flew wide open as if I had relived the scene just few second back. I started taking large gulp of air through the mask attached on my mouth.
"Doctor, she regained conscious... She is conscious... " My ears filled with someone's desperate scream. Then I heard some footsteps approaching near me.
I was staring at the ceiling fan which was moving rapidly. My eyes wide open as if I had a worst nightmare.
My surroundings slowly come into focus. The white walls, the smell of antiseptic and the familiar smell of lavender mixed with bodily scent… my mother. Where am I? I'm not dead.
The wall beside my bed has different wires attached to some equipment. I tried to get up from my lying position when I felt something piercing my delicate palm. With great effort, I rose my hands have a look. Needles with thin pipeline attached to some hanging bottle and a monitor on my side. In the hospital. My mind cued. I tried to get up slowly.
"Madam, what are you doing, please lay down, don't get up." l looked at the person who was wearing a white coat. I'm in a hospital.
"Yes madam, when you were brought, your condition was very critical. After three days you have gained back your consciousness. " The doctor replied.
A nurse approached the doctor hurriedly. " Sir, madam's family members and her husband insist to meet her," she said.
"Yeah, let them inside.” Said the doctor. Shame and terror-filled my weak heart.
I don't want to meet them.
I don't want to face them; I can't face them.
Nobody should see my misery.
Nobody should know.
My heartbeat increased.
My brain started signalling me to avoid such inconvenience.
Beep ...beep... Beep ...Beep... Beep... Beep
"Doctor, she is hyperventilating."
"Sir, heartbeat is increasing."
"Bring the defibrillation... make it quick. Fast." My eyes engulfed into the darkness as my body jerked with each shock.
************
Next day... My blurry vision adjusted to the surrounding. It took a few seconds for my brain to register this place. I gawked at the roof of my room. Slowly I tried to get up from my lying position when a nurse came forward and helped me adjusting the pillow against my back. She removed the oxygen mask from my mouth and I sighed.
A familiar scent filled my nostrils. "Zara. " I know this soft sound which came beside my side. I turned my face to the other side not having enough guts to face him. This voice erect pain in my heart. He stood by my side like a pillar and yet today I'm unable to match my gaze with him.
I have degraded in his eyes. How could I look into his eyes? I can't face him.
Why do I love him so much?
Why I have to meet him on that rainy day? And why did I have to feel his sorrow behind those few words. Why my heart couldn't bear his misery and decided to bring him into my life. Most of all why did I fall for him.
Fall for the devil in human form. A rogue. To get hurt every time.
Humiliation.
Betrayal.
Disloyalty.
Infidelity.
Back-stabbing.
What else? Caged in a dark room. Chained like an animal.
Why couldn't I save my heart from all these emotions? How could a person be so blind in love? In my case, I was not only blind but deaf also.
My madness should have stopped the moment he rejected my love but did I halt down. No, instead I was willing to go to any extend without caring about the feeling of my father. My hero. Whenever I recall that night my heart clench in utter self-hatred. Self-loathsome.
Why loving someone is so painful? So, heart wrecking.
"Zara, my daughter, my princess..." His affectionate voice filled my heart, and unable to stop the constriction inside, my eyes started shedding tears. He holds my chin and turned my face towards him. I looked at him with guilt and shame. His eyes filled with sorrow as he stared at me with hurtful emotion. He rubbed my cheeks with his elasticity hand. The small motion triggers a throbbing pain in my chest.
“How are you feeling now?” He asked tenderly. My voice refuses to come out of my throat because lying him wasn’t into me and telling him how miserable I am, will only break him further.
"Stop crying. I'm with you. Nothing will happen to you." His voice slightly shaken controlling his emotions. The person who had a dominating and authoritative tone now lacks its pace. He was sitting beside me like a helpless father.
I can't bear this.
I don't want to live.
I should have died, so how come I’m still breathing?
Before I go back to my depression the door ajar and someone barged inside. That someone is none other than the only woman in my life.
" Beti, Beti " she touched my forehead over my wound after reaching near me. Her eyes molten as she brushes her fingers over my wound hiding her tears and the next she tugged me in her embrace. She is a strong woman but also, she is a mother who cannot see me in pain. Her lavender smell filled my lungs. I missed this feathery touch of her palms. I got to see her after one month. (daughter, daughter)
One long month.
"Don't cry my baby, nothing will happen to you. I won't let any danger come across you. " My mother said in a protective tone. Her warm hug was soothing my dejected mind.
“We have always known that slum dog but you refuse to accept it. You never trusted my words. He always had his eyes upon my poor baby. How cleverly he tricked you.” She parted and cupped my face. Her eyes staring right into my soul.
“You are innocent. You don't know these low-class. " She turned her head without leaving my side. She was glaring hard at him. My father was sitting clueless and ready to bear the storm. "And you being a father, you are responsible for everything. See, see what he did to her. Listen to me now, I want that bloody animal out of her life as soon as possible." The pitch of her voice high in hatred.
" Hafsa, don't start this now. We can discuss this later. Look at her condition. " My father glares back.
" I'm not starting but ending this stupid stunt of both of you. Do you know her condition when she was bought to the hospital. I was there, not you. How much blood she had lost from the miscarriage and accident. Nawab Sahab, she has narrowly escaped from death. You don't know how I feel being a mother. I have given birth to her. She was in my womb for nine months. And that scoundrel just took my daughter to treat her barbarian. Enough is enough. I have asked the family lawyer to arrange the papers." My father got up from his place and holding my mother's arm dragged her out of the room. I looked at them with horror-filled eyes. My hand instinctively touched my belly with trembling fingers as I looked down. My mind was in utter astonishment.
Miscarriage... I was pregnant.
A baby was there in my womb. Was?
But why didn't he tell me?
Why didn't the doctor inform me?
I lost my first child.
My baby.
My flesh.
Why I'm still alive?
I should have also died along with my unborn baby. I was slumped to deep despondency. Suddenly I heard a commotion outside. People were speeding fast. My head yanked towards the door. My whole fame started trembling hearing the voice outside my door. My breathing increased its pace.
"I want to meet my wife.” The harshness in his voice sends another wave of shiver down my spine. Instinctively my fingers clutch each side of the bedsheet.
Why is he here?
What he wants now?
"She doesn't want to meet you " my mother must have blocked him.
"Nobody can stop me from meeting her. She is my wife. Zara... Zara ..."
------------------
Zara. "She doesn't want to meet you, " my mother snarled at him. "She is my wife. My legally wedded wife. Do you get it. Nobody can stop me from meeting her. Zara.... Zara... " He kept on growling. His distinctive manly voice echoed outside the cabin. He was behaving like an unhinged animal. In the past I never got to witness this kind of unrestrained behaviour from him. He was sweet and caring until he got me completely in his mercy and only then he showed me his true colours. His ugly face. "I will stop you. Wait, let me call the police commissioner. Two days in the lock will teach you a good lesson." My mother retorted to which he scoffed. "Do you think he can stop me?” My heartbeat increased drastically hearing him. “No power in this world can stop me.” My whole body shivered in fear. I refuse to get dragged into that hell. His voice and the way he declared war felt like whips against my ears. I don't want to hear these voices. Mostly I don't want to hear him. I
*Meeting *It's been two weeks after my discharge from the hospital. I didn’t return back to him as per my mother’s decision. It wasn’t only her decision but mine too, but she is been more vocalized in this matter when I was in emotions and pain. I was like take me anywhere but nowhere near him.Since then, I’m living with my parents. Both of them were taking good care of me. More than my dad it was mom who would run to attend me not waiting for the nurse whenever she heard a single sound of pain from my mouth. It was like her whole earth revolves around me.They tried their best to make me feel comfortable and I put an act to smile when I can feel the sense of void inside me. I can’t talk about it to anyone, not even to my parents. They will be in pain to know that I’m broken beyond repair.I stuck in a deep breath.With god’s grace my health has recovered speedily. Now I can freely move around the house without any assistance of my dad and mom. But still, I keep my movement slow.A
"How are you? " His fake caring voice echoed after some time and my eyes lifts on its own accord. After everything he did to me, he has the audacity to enquire about my wellbeing. "She is fine." Before I answer him, my mother did rather sternly. She has always lacked kindness for him. He clenches his jaw squeezing his eyes shut for some seconds and I know how hard he’s trying to stay calm. The moment he opened his eyes they measured me from head to toe and then back to my face meeting my eyes. His burning stare heating my skin. How much he hates to see me with Rihan. But I tried to remain unaffected. I looked at the lying papers on the table. The one side of the blank space holds my signature which I did two days back. The other side is still empty. I kept staring at the empty space. "Zara, come back home," he said with longingness. Home? Which home? That hell of a kind. Why? To punish me Force himself on me. Tie me up. My mind recalled all the bitter moment spend with him. “I’
*Secret talk *Zara Five more days passed after meeting him. These days I kept myself confined mostly inside the bedroom. Even this room reminds me of his essence. Sometimes dad use to visit me in the evening and recite some verse from the Holy book. He never inquired about what happened between us. Mayhap he wants me to heal my wounded heart without scraping. I want to flee away from all the memories which I have with him. Those bitter-sweet moments we shared in our childhood days.Whenever he saw me with Rihan, he goes insane whereas he is the one who has been cheating me. He can do whatever he wants and I have no right even to befriend with my childhood best friend. Double standard mentality. My trance of thought halted when I heard the knock on the door.“Come inside.”" Madam, dinner is ready, " the maid spoke after she closed the door behind her back. Nervously she walked towards my bed. I noticed how she was fidgeting holding her cell phone in her hands. "Madam, here is a ca
Aslan. My eyes travelled through the interior of the A-segment car. In my 11 years of age, I had never travelled in cars with my parents. We were not rich. We led a middle-class life until my mother felt sick. All the income of my father were mostly spent on her treatment. Although I had huge interest in cars but our condition didn’t permit us to afford a simple car. And today I’m sitting inside a lavish Mercedes Benz car. My body was stiff and my mind waited with an air of expectancy. The desire to own such cars buzzed inside my body. Maybe one day.The girl behind me who is sitting with her father was constantly chatting something. From her conversation it was clear that she was apple of her parents. Which is why her father agreed at her persuasion to bring me.Though I had agreed to live with them but my mind was anxious. Actually, it was difficult to manage the basic requirement of daily life. My days passed with only a one-time meal mostly which I get to eat in the hotel. So,
Aslan.I combed my hair placing them neatly. With the amount of coconut oil I put on my hair, it looks shiny and properly tucked. From the mirror, I saw Abdul chacha (uncle )wearing his cap. "Abdul chacha (uncle), is Zara ready? " I asked through the mirror. "Not yet... Big madam is asking for you. Hurry up." He took the car keys from the table and left. Looking at the mirror for the last time, I took my school bag and quit the quarter.On the way my mind was repeating the mugged-up answers from chemistry as today we are going to have a minor exam. Baba (dad) use to say that a man can only progress if he is learned. It’s been a day stepping in this mansion and seeing everything luxury and wealth I was thrilled and want to own such a lavish lifestyle. And that can only be possible if I study well. It was like I was in a pond for years and now exposed to the sea. That's all I knew with my age. As I entered the mansion, I saw Zara’s father engrossed in reading newspaper in the
Aslan."Boy, what are you doing here? "At first, I was startled and yanked my head up to find Nawab sir at a few distance from me. I was so engrossed that I didn’t hear his approaching footsteps. He had a cigarette between his fingers. Seeing my reaction, he studied me carefully. "Boy, what are you doing here at this time of night?” He asked once more. I gulped. "Sir, I'm preparing for upcoming test." I replied.His lips curled into a smile but he didn't say anything. He dragged a long pull of the cigarette and released the smoke in the air calming his nerves. Taking amble steps, he rests on the empty space beside me. He was wearing casual off white tee-shirt and black sweatpants. He was sitting beside me with calm and deep thought. His one leg rested on the other as he kept enjoying the burning sensation of the cigarette. He has grace of power and aura of dominance which can even make a king bow down on his knees. His well-sculpted body and the strong muscles of his biceps were
Aslan My vision adjusted with the light of the room. The room looked familiar as I blinked my eyes several times. The faded wall of the room reminds the recent place where I took shelter. My mind tried to ruminate how I reached the quarter but nothing could be recalled.Only remembered that I dive under the water to save her. I looked around the bed and saw the tiny creature for whom I jumped in the pool was resting her head beside my body. She was sitting on a tool. I looked at her face carefully. Her mouth agape drifting in a beautiful slumber. Carefully I got up and sat on the bed without making any sound. My stomach felt empty. "She is sitting here from the moment you were brought. Poor girl...she was so worried... Madam asked for her several times but she didn't budge from here. Even sir came to take her but nobody had the ability to make her leave this place. And now look ...how she is fast asleep waiting for you to wake up. If you don't know how to swim then why did yo