Portia's room looked like a bomb had detonated. I didn't know how she planned to find anything, and I wasn't sure I could locate her amidst the toys, clothes, and general crap piled on every available surface.I peered around the mounds to locate her. "Are you in there?"Her head popped up on the opposite side of the bed, and a huge smile broke out on her face. "Yep. I'm glad you're here.""Do you need my help escaping? This place is like a landmine." I took a couple of steps in, trying to find a safe place to put my foot without fear of breaking something. "No, silly." She glanced around with a confused look. "It's all organized.""Yeah? Into what, chaos?" Portia squinted and turned her head a bit, giving me an eat-shit look. "Can you go get some of those big, black trash bags from the garage? The ones Ernie uses in the yard.""Are you giving up? Just going to throw it all away? Burning it in the firepit in the backyard might be easier." I raised my brow in question, t
"Come on. Get up. Get up. Get up." Portia woke me by bouncing on my bed in animation. Her dark hair flew around her, blocking her face from view, but her voice gave away her excitement."God. What time is it?" I pressed the heel of my hands into my eyes and tried to rub the sleep away. "If it's before noon, come back at twelve." Yanking on the covers, I rolled onto my side to block her out.She tugged on my arm and used her weight to pull me into a sitting position. "It's already ten. By the time you shower and eat, it will be noon before we get on the road. And then it's an hour drive. Come on." I hated it when she pouted and even worse when she whined. Portia was the only female in the world who could spin me upside down by puffing out her bottom lip and lowering her voice half an octave. I was a goner the instant she did it."Fine. I'll get up when you get out." There was no way in hell I was tossing back the blankets to give her a visual of all the things I'd dreamed about
Bart knocked, and Jet opened the door to our room. The two of us had spent the last hour getting ready for our first frat party, and Bart, Chet, and Todd were here to escort us. Bart whistled through his teeth when I spun around, but it was Chet who scanned my body from head to toe. There was no way he missed the blush that warmed my cheeks with his attention.Bart took Jet's hand and lifted it above her head so she could twirl for him, and then he repeated the same with me. "You guys look fantastic.""Thank you, thank you." My roommate beamed with his praise. Bart wasn't at all shabby himself. There wasn't a flaw that I could find anywhere on his body, and he was a nice guy to top it off. Ever since I'd met these three the day I'd arrived, they'd all spent time getting to know me, and by default, Jet. Bart and Todd were older than I was and both juniors. Chet, however, was the little brother of a guy Bart went to high school with, and he was a sophomore. One year didn't seem th
When he met my eyes, I relaxed. It was easy to see how he could get a reputation from women who felt slighted after he'd rejected them. I wouldn't say Chet and I were close; we hadn't known each other long. Although, his reputation and perception were important to him. He took pride in his position on the lacrosse team, he made sure to talk to anyone who said hello, and he was part of a handful of clubs and organizations. Chet played an active role on campus. He was a popular guy. It would be easy to mistake his confidence for cockiness if I hadn't spoken to him."Do you want something to drink?" he asked, as though he'd just realized he had a beverage and had been rude not to offer me one."I'm not a fan of beer. Thank you, though.""I'm pretty sure there's a stash of wine coolers in the back." Charisma oozed from his smile, and I was putty in his hand. "Come on, you can pick whatever flavor you want."I debated refusing. It wasn't that I wasn't interested in having one. I'd j
With one look at my puffy eyes, his features hardened. He didn't have a clue what took place outside or why Jet had ripped me from his arms in the middle of a song. And now he stared at me, clearly wondering why I'd been crying. I backed away from Bart, who kissed my cheek and patted my arm, although he didn't ask any questions. The pity on his face made me think he might have been the one to send Jet after me so he didn't have to be the bearer of bad news. Chet held out his hand. I glanced between Bart and Jet even though I didn't know why. Confirmation, acceptance maybe. Neither gave me much to go on. Bart remained stoic while Jet just shrugged. A shrug could mean anything. It could be acknowledgment that it was okay to let Chet take me away, or it could have been her way of saying, "I warned you, and now you're on your own." I should have read it as the last. Instead, I chose the first. My fingers intertwined with Chet's, which hadn't relaxed in the slightest. He ensured no on
Maybe that was the problem-this was so common that women no longer respected themselves. I didn't want to be one of them."What do you think is going on behind every one of those closed doors in the hall? I can assure you, they aren't just making out. And most of them probably have more than one couple fucking inside."My face quirked into an uneasy expression. I couldn't believe what I'd heard. He didn't even apologize or pretend that my discomfort mattered. This was someone I thought-at the very least-was my friend. I didn't know boys who acted this way. Jude sure as hell wouldn't have been this disrespectful to a girl. Jude would have remembered to engage the lock. Jude would have shielded me with his body. Jude would have pushed those gawking, uninvited strangers into the hall. Jude would have found a way to conceal my nudity and ease my embarrassment. Because that's what a man should do. It shouldn't matter if they had a spoken commitment between them; a guy with any integrity
As adamant as I was that the stages of grief were nothing other than crap some shrink created to sell books and services, the truth remained. I had hit stage two with guns blazing shortly after I dropped Portia off at school. Anyone in my path could testify to that fact, and most made excuses for my poor behavior.Hensley tried harder than anyone to get me to talk. "Jude, I don't understand what happened." If I weren't careful, I'd find myself in a counselor's office exploring my feelings-as if I needed to explore how fucking bad it hurt for my mom to die. I experienced that shit every day-talking about it wouldn't bring her back or take the pain away."I got into a fight." And suspended for three days. Ernie and Hensley sat with me at the kitchen table. I'd done my best to ignore them, and Ernie had done a lot of yelling."Over what?" She pleaded with me to let her in-she'd be happy with a few crumbs.It didn't matter over what. They wouldn't understand, and I sure as he
Without responding, I pressed play. Not even the Beatles were salve to my wounds. I didn't know what I expected; I should have anticipated pain, agony. The pain of my mother's passing. The pain of Portia leaving. The pain of being alone. Yet even though I knew it would come, I hadn't foreseen the way it would wrap its arms around me, dig its talons into my flesh and soul, and tear at me like a starving animal devouring prey. I couldn't escape it, couldn't welcome it, and struggled to handle it. The only time I'd felt any control since my mother died was when I pounded my fists into Chad's face.Nothing I did for the next three days gave me that same relief. No matter the level of exertion or the menial task at hand, I couldn't release the rage that brewed and bubbled inside. Then she walked in the door. I hadn't heard the car in the driveway, and her presence in the foyer surprised me, along with the large duffle bag she'd dropped at her feet.I came the rest of the way down to