Five

“Elara?” I was brought back to reality by a tap on the shoulder. Alex greeted me, looking puzzled by my distraction. He really looks so much like Kim, maybe that’s why I felt comfortable with him so quickly, just a few days after starting work at this company.

“Why?” I asked, my thoughts were too deep at the moment.

“It’s your off, it’s already 8 pm. Are you going to work overtime? If not, let’s go out together.” I smiled and nodded at his suggestion, checking the clock on the side of my table. He was right, it was almost eight in the evening.

“Alright. Let’s go.” I replied and quickly tidied up my table, which was littered with papers.

“By the way, do you know the last applicant earlier?” I paused, trying to remember who he was referring to. It was Jaxon.

“Why?” Instead of answering his question, I asked one instead.

“Earlier, before he left the company, he asked for your number, but I didn’t give it to him since it was private information.”

“Thank you.” I replied, taking a deep breath as I recalled the note I had left there. He had no right to enter my life; his place was already shut.

But I also needed to be professional; his skills would be beneficial to this company, so we needed him. Why did he have to choose this place out of all the places?

Just when I thought I had forgotten, he would come and break down the walls I had built.

That rat.

The next day, I woke up early to go to the supermarket. I almost forgot that I had almost no stock left, so I needed to restock. As I entered, I grabbed a push cart and a basket and separated the soaps from the food, as I didn’t trust anyone else to do my laundry, no matter how busy I was. I always preferred to do it myself because I trusted myself with it.

I took my list and started searching. My mom taught me how to be organized, especially when shopping. Everything should be listed, from needs to wants, especially when working far from home, which is what’s happening now. I also did my internship in QC, but it’s different when you’re really working, you’re responsible for everything, and you can be given workloads.

“Cheese, evaporated milk, condensed milk, what else?” I was in front of the milk stall. I love making desserts, so these items are always on my checklist. “Oh, sugar.” I quickly went back to the sugar section and grabbed a kilo, which would last for one to two months since I don’t use sugar often at home.

I spent almost an hour shopping before deciding to line up at the cashier. With the amount I bought, I might not need to go grocery shopping for two months, which would save me time. Sometimes, I prefer sleeping over going out; my body always craves rest, maybe because I’m often sleep-deprived.

“What do you want for lunch later, love?” I glanced at the man and woman in front of me, who were about the same age as me, with their own push cart, talking.

“Hmm, adobo! I want pork, okay? Are you used to that?” The woman replied to her boyfriend.

The man just laughed and touched her hair. “We have YouTube, I’ll watch how to cook it if that’s what you want to eat.” He said, so she hugged him sideways.

“Love, are you having lunch at home? What do you want to cook? Let’s buy the ingredients.” We’re currently at the supermarket; he picked me up from school.

I’m on my last year in college, and Adri hasn’t talked to Jaxon for a long time. I’m afraid Adri will get angry, so I’ve hidden my feelings for a long time, but Adri approached me to meet her new fling, saying she no longer likes Jaxon. I know it’s not right to have had an intimate relationship with Jaxon before and then be with Adri now, but if I’m not hurting Adri with someone else, there should be no problem.

“Love?” I immediately looked at my companion, and he was frowning at me, looking at me while holding vegetables. “Are you okay? What do you want?”

I smiled and nodded. “I want adobo, make it delicious!” I said, so he laughed and scratched his head.

“We’re doomed there, I don’t know how to cook that, but okay, YouTube is a thing.” He said, kissing my forehead. “For the most beautiful girl in the world, the most delicious adobo.” I laughed and playfully hit him, all jokes.

“Ma’am? Next, please.” I moved quickly because of the cashier’s voice; the couple in front of me had already left. I handed my card to her for payment. “Please sign here, Ma’am.” She said, so I took my own pen and signed where I needed to. “Thank you, come again, Ma’am.” She said, and I just nodded and left, pushing the cart with my groceries.

It’s annoying; I keep remembering it. The truth is, I’m not really angry with Jaxon; I’m more angry with myself. If only I hadn’t continued our past relationship, Kim wouldn’t be depressed, she wouldn’t have attempted suicide, between Jaxon and me, I’m more at fault because I gave in, I let my emotions take over, and because of what I felt, someone died, someone’s dreams were not fulfilled, I lost a friend, and every time I see Jaxon, I remember everything, all the emotions, all my what-ifs, and I want to get rid of that; I can’t last long like that.

Selfish as it may sound, but I really want to get away from him, but I don’t know why whenever I’m okay, he suddenly appears, and what’s even more annoying is that his effect on me doesn’t go away. His memories that he carries are painful, and I don’t want to live like that, I also want to be happy somehow.

“Elara?” I stopped walking, thinking I might have been called.

“Uh.” I didn’t know who the man in front of me was; I’m not good at remembering names and faces, especially if it’s been a long time.

“Hahahaha! You haven’t changed, let me guess, you forgot me, right? That’s how you were when we were in college.” So he was my classmate? “Paul, your classmate in General Psychology, when you were in first year, and I was an irregular second year, sometimes third year, do you remember?”

“Ah, yes. It’s you.” We weren’t really close, so I didn’t know why he felt so close to me now. Hehe

“How are you? You’ve become so beautiful. Are you alone?” He asked and walked alongside me. I wanted to tell him to leave because I didn’t want company, but I was shy. “Where’s your companion?” He asked again, so I stopped walking and faced him, causing him to stop too, looking at me with a smile, there was something different, I couldn’t tell what, but it seemed like he was very pleased with something he learned.

“Actually, she’s with someone. You don’t need to accompany her; I can do that myself.”

What the fuck? Why is Jaxon here again? How did he know I was here? Is he serious? I looked ahead to see Paul’s reaction; he was still staring, but there was something different about him, I couldn’t tell what, but he seemed very pleased about something he learned.

“I knew you would come,” he said, his eyebrows furrowing. Did he know Jaxon was coming here? Why didn’t I? “I knew it, Zander,” he said again, grinning.

Jaxon’s face was serious. “Fuck off, before I do,” he said softly but firmly, and I felt his grip on my shoulder tighten.

Okay, what’s happening?