“ So..” I reluctantly said while looking above the sky. Sobrang taas ng sikat ng araw ngayon at nakakasilaw ang liwanag na dala nito ngunit dahil sa mayabong na dahon ng punong aming kinalalagyan ay hindi ito naging malaking hadlang sa amin.
Once again we are the back of the orphanage. Naalala ko kung paano kami huling nagpunta dito, it was chaotic and scandalous. Nag-init ang pisngi ko dahil kahit kapwa na kami nakahiga sa isang kumot sa ilalim ng puno ay hindi padin binibitawan ni Matthew ang kamay ko.
He seems happy.. very happy because it is obvious that he is hiding a smile while looking at the sky. I glanced at him when he whistled once and a bird lands on his chest. Natatawa niya akong pinagmasdan ng mapasigaw ako dahil sa sobrang gulat sa ibon but in the end he shoo the bird away.
The dead silence and the peacefulness of the place is deafening. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko uumpisahang kausapin si Matthew, it feels like all of my inhibitions and questions are all mixed up that I cannot even form a proper one. Matagal ko siyang hinintay na magsalita but like me, he just stayed there waiting for something.
Hindi ko alam kung kailan nag-umpisa pero magmula ng makilala ko siya ng mabuti ay para bang lagi na akong kinakabahan tuwing makikita ko siya. Siguro dahil noong una ay interesado lang ako, yup, I was interested when I first saw him in the marathon pero ngayon hindi nalang ako interesado but I am liking him to the point that he makes me tremble.
“ I like you.”
Agad akong napabangon dahil sa biglaang niyang sinabi. I looked at him in awe when he laughed like he didn’t just confess on me. Pinagmasdan ko siyang mabuti dahil sa posisyon niya, he looks comfortable dahil prente lang siyang nakahiga at nakatingin sa mga ulap. I tried to lure him and make him gaze at me by holding his chin but he just laughed at my actions.
“ Joke ba yun?!” I hysterically said bago ulit humiga sa tabi niya. I saw him glanced at me pouting and mimicking his words. Kung joke man iyon, it is not even funny! Ipinagkrus ko ang mga kamay ko sa aking tiyan at akmang tatalikod n asana ngunit nagulat nalang ako ng hilahin niya ang katawan ko palapit sa kanya.
My cheeks blushed because I am literally facing his chest. Sobrang lapit niya na pakiramdam ko maririnig niya ang malakas na pintig ng puso ko. I tried to struggle and be free to his hugs but he just laughed again before hugging me tighter. Ramdam ko ang init ng hininga niya sa bandang noo ko at nagulat nalang ako when I feel his lips planting a soft kiss on my forehead.
“ Gusto kita, gustong-gusto kita Radia.” He softly said like he poured all of his heart in that confession. It wasn’t the longest or extravagant confession that I received in my life, it was just a simple and direct confession but it makes my heart flattered and moved.
Tumingala ako at tinignan siyang nanonood sa reaksiyon ko, unlike earlier he wasn’t laughing or smiling but he is sporting a serious and nervous look like he is afraid that I am going to break his heart.
“ Do you like me?” I watched how his lips trembled when he asked those words.
Kailanman ay hindi ako nagkaproblema kapag may umaamin sa akin. I always know what I like and if I don’t like them, I will bluntly tell ngayon ay alam kong gusto ko si Matthew but why do I feel like I am out of words to answer back his confession.
Matagal akong nanahimik dahil parang tumigil ang paghinga ko at nakalimutan ko nang magsalita. The silence is killing me but I cannot utter a single word.
“ I will make you like me,” he confidently said before adjusting his position tugging me closer to his body. I can feel his hot breath touching my face and his hands slowly drawing circle at my back. Para akong kinikiliti dahil sa sensasyong nararamdaman but then I remembered that I need to answer his question.
“ You don’t need to, I already like you.”
Those are the words that came out of my mouth. It wasn’t sweet nor aesthetic confession but the butterfly inside my stomach get chaotic because of how his eyes twinkles with those words.
“ Pinakaba mo ako!” he playfully said before leaning down and placing a kiss in my lips. It wasn’t our first kiss but it feels like it because of the magical feeling that envelope us right at that time. Hindi ako umilag o nag-isip ng kahit ano, the kiss drowned me and I get drowned happily.
Akala ko ay matatapos lang iyon sa isang simpleng h***k to seal whatever confessions that we have but when Matthew pull me closer, I felt him deepening our kiss in an most sensual way. Naghahabol na ako ng hininga pero parang wala lang sa kanya dahil patuloy padin siya sa pagh***k, when he sense that I need air he lowers his kiss right at the side of my neck hindi pa siya nakuntento dahil tinanggal niya ang braso niya na siyang pinagpapatungan ng ulunan ko and he moves just on top of me.
I blushed when I saw our position, I tried to look straight in his eyes but all I can see is thirst and love. Ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko at nagpadala sa gusto niyang gawin. He is now moving on top of me kissing my jaw and licking the side of my neck. Nanghihina kong hinawakan ang buhok niya contemplating whether I want to stop him or I want him to give me more.
Masyado kaming nagpadala sa init ng nararamdaman hanggang sa napabalikwas nalang kami dahil may narinig kaming mga hakbang ng taong papalapit. He looks shocked and I looked turned on because of the sensation that he gave me. Wala pa ako sa tamang pag-iisip ng hinila niya ako patayo at ang kumot pagkatapos ay tumakbo patungo sa likod ng puno ng acacia.
He throws the blanket just beneath the tall grass and makes me lean on the tree. Palapit na ng palapit ang tunog na mas nakapagpakaba sa akin. If my daddy will found out about this, I will be dead… drop dead.
Sinenyasan ako ni Matthew na tumahimik but because of nervousness I keep on gulping so he doesn’t have a choice but to put his hand in my mouth to stop any sound. Ilang saglit lang ay nakita ko ng dumaan ang mga madre paalis sa lugar hindi ito napansin ni Matthew dahil sa ibang direksiyon ito nakatingin.
I smirked because something came out of my mind and starts licking his hand that is covering my mouth. Ramdam kong natigilan siya lalo na ng bigla siyang tumingin sa akin sa nanlalaking mga mata. He shook his head when he saw me smirking and teasing him kaya mas lalo ko pang pinagbuti.
I laughed when I heard him groan and hissed because of the sensation not until he pull his hand and make me lean more to the tree before he crush his lips on me. Unlike before it wasn’t soft or sensual, it was rough and needy something that I didn’t imagine. He kissed me more like he is punishing me for teasing him and I didn’t back down dahil kung gaano kapusok ang h***k niya ay ganoon din ang iginanti ko dito.
Right beneath the shade of the tree, I just found myself responding to his deep kisses.
“ Aray!” malakas kong sigaw ng maputol nanaman ang isang string ng gitara at matalsikan ako nito. Inis kong tinignan ang tumatawang si Matthew na ngayon ay halos gumulong na sa sahig dahil sa kapalpakan ko. He is teaching me to learn guitar pero kahit anong turo niya ay hindi ko talaga makuha. “ Buti nalang madami akong stock na nakatago,” litanya niya bago umakyat sa taas at pumasok sa kanyang kwarto. We’ve been hanging out to their house dahil kanina ay ipinakilala niya ako sa parents niya but unfortunately his parents needs to go somewhere kaya kami nalang ang naiwan dito ngayon. Itinabi ko muna ang gitara sa katabing sofa at sinundan siya sa taas. He told me earlier to not enter his room because he is scared that we will not control our self once more tulad ng nangyari noong nakaraan kung saan halos may mangyari na sa amin sa likod ng puno. “ Knock knock,” I playfully said kahit nakaawang naman ang pintuan. Nakasimangot siyang lumingon sa akin bago ipinag
Love.. I’ve never imagined that I will be so in love with someone someday that I will want them only for myself. I feel so clingy and sad when I saw Matthew’s message saying that he will be gone for a week because he needs to do some gift-giving in some secluded area in a province. I pouted and took a selfie before clicking the sent button to our conversation. Stefan who is bothering me again in my room laughed at what I did and shook his head in disappointment. “ I’ve never pegged you to be this lovesick fool,” natatawa niyang turan bago kunin ang gitara sa tabi ng kama ko at nagsimulang tumugtog. I laughed because of his remarks and watch him struggle doing the guitar. “ Wala ka lang girlfriend!” I teased him back earning a death glare from him. “ Ikaw…” “ Huh?” nagulat kong tugon dahil sa biglaang sagot niya and it feels like he didn’t know that he said it allowed kaya pinagtakpan niya ito ng isang malakas na halakhak. I’ve crea
“ I know that you’ve missed me but I need you to do me a favor,” “ Radia?” “ H-Huh?” I instantly looked at Matthew when he calls my name waking me from staring to his brother. Inimbita ako ng mommy niya na mag-breakfast sa kanila but he’s smirking brother is sending shivers in my nerves kaya hindi ako makapagfocus sa sinasabi ni Matthew. “ I’m s-sorry, ano ulit iyon love?” nahihiya kong tanong habang tinitignan ang parents niyang nakangiti sa amin. “ I think she’s tired of you, son!” his father remarks making his eyes widen out of surprise. Malungkot siyang tumingin sa akin but then we heard his father laughed teasing him. “ N-No, o-of course not po tito,” I defended myself habang iniiwas ang tingin sa kaliwang kabisera ng kanilang dining table. Matthew held my hand and kissed it infront of his parents making me blushed. “ W-What was your favor again?” nahihiya kong tanong dahil hanggang ngayon ay nakangiti padin ang pare
“ Are you alright?” tanong ni Matthew ng makita niyang nakatulala ako sa loob ng tent. I wasn’t really thinking of anything aside from what his ex-girlfriend said earlier. Pinipilit kong patatagin ang loob ko at ngumiti kay Matthew but then I saw the woman walking towards our direction smirking at me pero ng lumingon si Matthew ay agad iyong napalitan ng mala-anghel na ngiti. “ I didn’t know you’re here Matt!” she sound like a conservative angel malayong malayo sa paraan ng pananalita niya kanina. Matthew held my hand and she looked at it, hindi maitago ang pait na nararamdaman but a minute later she smile again like nothing happened. “ Yeah,” maikling sagot ni Matthew still looking at me and not minding her presence pero ng tinawag sila na pinakahead ng community service ay walang choice si Matthew kung hindi sumabay sa kanya. She seems to be having a hard time scoring a real conversation with Matthew pero hindi siya nagtatagumpay dahil hindi man lang siya tapunan n
One week have passed and then another long week and another week without Matthew. I’ve waited almost everyday but he didn’t call nor sent me any messages about our argument and just like that I’ve accepted our fate that maybe that was the last time that I will saw him and I will be happy with him. It’s like a borrowed time…a borrowed moment and I didn’t realized it until I am here crying and hurting because of him. “ You know what?! Fuck him! Don’t destroy yourself like this!” sigaw ni Stefan matapos akong panoorin na umiinom nanaman sa bar niya. It is our summer break pero lagi akong nakatambay dito at nagpapakalango sa alak buti nalang ay dito lang din nagtrabaho si Stefan kaya libre akong pumunta dito kahit tanghaling tapat. “ Do you believe in fate?” tipsy, I asked him and looked directly at his eyes. He looks tired and pained watching me like this pero anong magagawa niya if this is the only way I know to stop the pain that I am feeling. “ Maybe it’s not
“ So how do you wanna start this?” nakangiti kong tanong kay Stefan ng makapunta kami sa gitna ng dance floor ng club. My arm is clinging into his neck while we are dancing in the middle of the crowd dahil nagsimulang magpatugtog ang dj ng slow songs. I laughed when he smirk at me and get his phone out of his suit. Pinanood ko siyang magpindot pindot doon until he looked upstairs kung nasaan ang station ng dj, the dj assigned then winked at him and quickly change the music into a party mix. Sobrang naglundagan ang mga tao at umugong ang tunog ng hiyawan sa buong lugar. Tinawanan ko si Stefan ng igiya niya ako sa pinakagitna ang nakapamaywang na hinamon ako ng sayaw and just like before I put my hands in air and dance wildly as if I didn’t mind anything that is beside me. Mas lalong lumakas ang hiyawan ng magseductive dance ako at hilahin ang isang lalaki bago mag-grind dito. I watch how he catches his breathe at mabilis din na lumayo ng magsimula na siyang humawak sa baywang
“Do you think I like good on this? Parang masyadong maikli naman!” Radia pouted while looking at herself in the mirror, umikot pa siya doon pero hindi talaga niya gusto kung gaano kaikli ang suot niyang dress. Stefan who is playing mobile games in her bed looked at her in disbelief and scoffed because of what he heard. “Look at these,” he said before doing something in his phone and showing it to her. Her face looked shocked because of what she is wearing in that picture hanggang sa tinignan niya ang lahat ng nakasave doon and they are all in same length. “ Halla!” she said and laughed at herself before looking in the mirror dahil mukhang mas disente pang tignan ang suot niya ngayon kaysa sa mga suot niya sa mga larawan na ipinakita ni Stefan. “ Hindi ako kumportable,” nasabi niya sa sarili bago pumasok ulit sa kanyang walk-in-closet at magpalit ng simpleng damit. Stefan scoffed and looked irritated again ng makita niya kung ano ang ipinalit k
“ Hello po! Nakakuha na ba iyong mga bata doon sa isang table?” tanong ko sa kasamahan ko na nagpapafeeding ngayon dito sa isang orphanage. I’ve been visiting different orphanage kahit busy ako sa school at sa thesis. I’m in my senior year and I am really stressed about it so I need some refreshments but unlike before I didn’t chose to go to bars and drink until I get wasted kundi naghanap ako ng mga charity at orphanage na pwede kong matulungan. My parents is so happy about these activities that they support me and funded my projects. Nakangiti kong pinanood ang mga batang masayang kumakain sa inihanda naming maliit na meryenda. We organize a children party for them to enjoy and have fun. “ Ate! Ate!” Umupo ako para pumantay ang paningin ko sa batang lalaki na hinihila ang pantalon ko. “ Hi! Bakit?” I said before looking at him. He looks like his just 6 years old at nakakaawa ang kondisyon ng balat niya. Marami siyang pantal-pantal at