17 // Heartbeat

'They grow up so fast.'

That was amongst some of the things I hated hearing, especially when it came from that supposedly distant family relative or friend who hasn't seen you in years, or the actual family member and friend. As if children were not supposed to grow.

I personally believe it was just a ruse to get the parents to disclose every single progress the child has made, and they could if they were proud of you. But I didn't want to imagine what it was like if the opposite was true, like in my case. A true disappointment to my mother.

I often wondered what she told people about me, she probably painted herself as a saint while I was deemed the outward daughter. She had completely written me off, and she hung up on me and blocked my number the moment she heard my voice when I tried calling her.

She shattered me for the last time, honestly.

I was reeling in the aftermath of having a mother like her. It make me often doubt myself, I