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Chapter 18: Telling Freddie
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Model Perfect Chapter 19: What are Friends For
What are best friends for? I often ask myself this when I see other girls in the hallways at school. I don't mean Rosa Higgins. She's the closest thing I will get to a real friend. But the truth of it is she and I aren't even close to being best friends. It took breaking up with Hunter to realize that. Rosa Higgins is an abstract concept that I have learned to admire. Her talons, claws, and speed alone have me cornered in a canyon-like a rabbit under the weight of a mighty eagle. If this is how friendship is supposed to be then I want no part in it. Our friendship is up and down, like quicksand or thin ice. As a fisherman walks onto the ice, he must check which ice is more stable so he doesn't drown in the icy water below. That's me, I extend my foot on the ice and if it's too thin I know not to trust Rosa Higgins. She knows Hunter hit me and she hardly did anything. Maybe she just decided to only listen to me that day. Maybe she didn't actually believe a word coming from my lips.
Model Perfect Chapter 20: Video Chat
We are on this earth for a certain number of days. Our time could end at any second. Nothing in this world is guaranteed. Nothing is set in stone. There is nothing worse to me than not knowing how my thyroid will turn out. Which way will the pendulum swing? If it swings in my favor, the world could be fine and I could live to be one-hundred. However, if things turn sour and the raven knocks on my door like that old Edgar Allen Poe poem, then I could be dead in a few years or a few decades. Nobody knows how long they will be here. All we can do is keep trying and keep breathing. The rise and fall of our chests and the beating of our hearts mean we are still in this crazy race. Life is a crazy race and at some point, I will need to face the music with my head held high and Arlo by my side. He is the only comfort I have in the darkness. The only light I have in the darkest oblivion. The void of emptiness has found me in my dreams this night. He takes on the voice of Hunter and threats
Model Perfect Chapter 21: The Meet Cute
Rosa knocks on the bathroom door. I know she will want to ask me why I have been in here for so long. My reflection stops me from opening the door. The lump in my neck has gotten larger. The pressure on my esophagus has increased in the last few weeks. The painful sting that I feel whenever I turn my head reminds me that I can't ignore this cancer for much longer. I need to make a decision quickly before Model Perfect, Freddie, or Arlo makes it for me. If Hunter found out he would use the knowledge to his advantage to gain something. If Tanya Pennington found out she would use it to crush my career or have me kicked out of the Winter Paris Collection Competition. The truth is I don't know what I wang anymore. With so much pressure being placed on me from all angles, I have decided to flee. Escaping my problems for a day is exactly what I need. I wish I didn't have to go to school anymore sometimes. School is a stressful place to be. There are phones everywhere and anyone can film me
Model Perfect Chapter 22: The Wife
The chattering from my bedroom can only mean one thing, Rosa and Freddie are still enjoying each other’s company. It’s always the least likely people that will fall in love. For Freddie, he comes with a tragic backstory that Rosa is unaware of. Freddie, being twenty-five, has a few years on Rosa and in those short years before they met, Freddie was previously married. His wife, Maria, died in a plane crash. Maria was a bit like Amelia Earhart, or so Freddie has mentioned to me in our private conversations. The truth of it is, Freddie has closed himself off from getting close to anyone. He doesn’t need to tell me this for me to notice. I have witnessed him at work with his hands closed and his arms crossed. The scowl of his brow and the clenching of his jaw. Those to me were the mannerisms of a man keeping people away. When I asked him if he was okay after a photo session one day, he broke down and told me I was the first model at Model Perfect to ever ask or care about him. From then
Model Perfect Chapter 23: Under the Bleachers
Arlo and I meet under the bleachers as planned. Instead of meeting after school, we meet in the middle of the night. He wants to show me something, whatever that means. In my humble opinion there is nothing great about bleachers. It is rumored that I was conceived under the bleachers at my mother’s university. I highly doubt it, knowing my mom she exaggerated that entire story just to make me cover my ears and embarrass me in front of my various peers. To my peers, I must sound like a spoiled rich snobby model with the perfect ideal life. Arlo hands me a magazine and there on the cover of the magazine is a picture of Hunter and me kissing. This picture was taken about a year ago. “When did this happen?” Arlo asks, the jealous lingering in the air next to his foggy exhale.“This was taken a year ago. The media likes to cycle through old pictures. When would I have the time to be with Hunter again? After Halloween did you really think, I would ever return to that asshat?” Arlo grabs
Model Perfect Chapter 24: On Tightropes
The Winter Paris Collection competition is around the corner, and I am not prepared for it at all. It is hard to model these days, my energy levels are haywire. I can hardly focus in class, I fell asleep in math class the other day. The doctor says it could be my thyroid hormone levels becoming fuzzier and harder to predict. His words weren’t exactly that, but that was the overlaying message. It’s scary to be out of control. It’s a hurricane that I am not ready for. It’s been weeks, and I still haven’t decided to fully commit to surgery. It would mean goodbye Model Perfect, and I am not sure I am ready to say goodbye to them just yet. Arlo is concerned for me and has even put pressure on me to consider my health over my career. It’s a balancing act and I don’t like which way to go. I feel like a tightrope walker, at any moment I could fall in the net below if a decision is not made for me. My life is a balancing act, that I am too exhausted to recover from. I fall in all directions,
Model Perfect Chapter 25: For Arlo
Being away from school and the buzz of drama is what I have needed for the longest time. I have been ignoring my social media platforms, my fans have expressed concerns over videos of the alleged depressed model. Perhaps it’s true, maybe I am depressed in the small corners of the mind. I try to be active and productive during my depression, doing things like art, photography, and yoga get my mind flowing. The three prescribed days off from school are perfect for reflection. There are pros and cons to my life. If I have thyroid surgery, I don’t have to deal with cancer and an ever-growing tumor that makes it impossible to swallow. Every swallow of food is struggle, I have to eat soft foods to make it easier on myself. My hand finds my lump again, and this time it hurts when I touch it. It’s the pain of cancer lingering in the ticking time bomb in my body. Cancer is everywhere. Nurse Water’s sister died of cancer and Arlo’s mother. There must be something in the food we eat or the dri
Model Perfect Chapter 26: Goodbye, Model Perfect
It’s Monday, after school and I find myself in the familiar company walls of Model Perfect. Freddie’s office lies at the end of the hallway. I knock on his door. “Freddie, do you have a moment? I would like the chat with you.” He signals for me to sit down and close the door behind me. “I wanted to talk with you about the Paris Winter Collection. Can I still be in it?” Freddie puts down the newspaper that he has been reading. An article about me is on the front page, I can’t imagine what there is to report on me unless someone found out about Arlo or my cancer. “Yes, of course you can still be in it. Is that why you came in here?” “Ummm well, how was your date with Rosa?” Freddie rolls his eyes. It’s amazing to me how different a person can be when they are asked to transform into a professional. Out of the office and away from Model Perfect, Freddie is this reserved person who knows how to laugh and smile. But here behind the walls of Big Brother, who watches his every move, h
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- Model Perfect Chapter 32: Hospitals, Surgeries, and Surprises
- Model Perfect Chapter 31: The Perfect Distraction
- Model Perfect Chapter 30: The Great Before
- Model Perfect Chapter 29: The Hunted
- Model Perfect Chapter 28: Winter Paris Competition
- Model Perfect Chapter 27: Frenemies
- Model Perfect Chapter 26: Goodbye, Model Perfect
- Model Perfect Chapter 25: For Arlo
- Model Perfect Chapter 24: On Tightropes
