Chapter 10: Time to Think

A few days had passed, and Anna still felt uneasy about breaking it off with Ethan. She'd been distracted every day at work and felt like she wasn't giving her students her all because she just couldn't focus. Kelly had noticed a difference in her, but Anna had avoided talking to her friend so she wouldn't have to get a lecture about breaking up with Ethan.

She got home that night and went through the motions of making dinner, cleaning up around the house, and trying to catch up on her reading. But later that night, she had read the same page twice and still couldn't get a handle on the story.

"Well, this is useless," she said aloud to herself, slamming her book closed. "Did I do the wrong thing? Or was it the right thing? How am I supposed to know the difference?'

Memories flooded in as she compared the beginnings of her relationship with Alan with her recent dates with Ethan. Alan had been polite and nice, but when she really thought about it, he never truly seemed like he was listening to her, only pretending to be interested by agreeing with every word she said.

The conversations with Ethan, however, felt sincere. He would gaze at her with his eyes as deep and blue as the vast expanse of the heavens, listening intently as she talked about her dreams, her thoughts, her feelings.

No, there was something much different in her connection with Ethan, something on a deeper level.

"I did," she said to Sammy, who stared up at her wagging his tail. "I did make a mistake. But it's too late now. I don't think there's anything I can do about it. If he really does care about me, then I truly hurt him the other night at the restaurant. I couldn't even explain what was wrong."

She slid open the back door just off the kitchen, which led out onto a small deck with two cushioned chairs and a table with a red umbrella in the center. The night was dark, and she looked up at the stars.

"I wish there was a way I could know for sure," she said, leaning back in her chair.

***

Ethan had spent the evening walking around his farmhouse vegetable garden and his small barnyard, where three young sheep nestled in the hay. The sheep were young, and Ethan had found them through an animal rescue group. An elderly couple had become too ill to take care of their farm animals, so the rescue group helped find them new homes. He enjoyed spending time watching the sheep interact and cuddle up together for a good night's sleep. There was something comforting in witnessing the happiness of animals who felt safe in their surroundings.

But Ethan couldn't focus on vegetables or sheep. His mind wandered, as it had for several days, since Anna had driven away in that restaurant parking lot.

"What did I do wrong?" he asked himself aloud.

He walked over to the patio and sat down on a chair next to a wooden table.

"So, we're talking to ourselves now, are we?" teased a woman walking up behind him. She was older, in her mid-fifties, tall and slender with light green eyes and short hair with a silvery tint from its greying locks. "I brought you some tea," she added.

"Louise, thank you. You always think tea will solve everything," said Ethan.

"And is there something to be solved on this clear, quiet night?" she asked.

"You know there is," he answered.

"A young woman who needs time is not a problem to be solved," she said with a reassuring smile. "Love is a confusing and complex thing, and we women need to absorb all its splendor as it happens to us. That takes time."

"I know, and I'm perfectly willing to give her the time she needs. It's just … difficult," Ethan said, taking a sip of the tea Louise had made for him. "This is wonderful, as always," he added.

"Nothing but the best for you," Louise said, smiling. "I've always loved you as a son. Jeffery and I would have loved children of our own." She closed her eyes as memories poured in of her late husband. "But we enjoyed every moment watching you grow up," she added.

"You were always a great mother when my own mom couldn't be around."

"Your parents were busy. There was so much to be done building a business and a life," Louise explained. "You know that yourself now."

"Yes, it didn't take me long to understand that as I got older. They're great parents, but I'm still glad that you've always been there for me, Louise. Thank you." Ethan smiled.

"Ethan, I've known you since you were in diapers, and I'll say one thing for you. I have never once known you to give up on something you truly wanted," said Louise, "especially something this important."

Louise rose and grasped her cup of tea.

"You're right, as always," said Ethan. "And your tea has always gotten the job done as well. It's like a magic remedy somehow. How do you do it?" he asked.

"A woman can't give away ALL her secrets," she laughed as she glided away, her tailored black suit shimmering in the moonlight.

Ethan laughed, set his own cup down on the table, and rested his head back to look up at the stars.

"I'll wait until you're ready, Anna," he said aloud as he noticed a bright star twinkle in the clear sky above.