I WENT STRAIGHT home to the condo and poured out the pain and resentment at what had happened in the church. I took off my gown. My smile was bitter when I threw it in the trash can.
I went into the bathroom and let the water from the shower flow into my body. At the same time, abundant tears flowed. I was like that for an hour before I thought of getting dressed.
I slowly lay down on the bed, thinking about what had happened at church, causing tears to fall again on my cheeks. I could feel nothing but the pain in my heart.
I woke up to hear Cindy and Mommy knocking outside. They begged me to open the door. Until the noise outside disappears. Maybe they were tired, or maybe they chose to give me time to be alone.
***
I WOKE UP because of the sunlight hitting my face. I just fell asleep with the window of my room open.
I got up and prepared myself to go to the office today, though I already file a leave for the wedding, which did not happen.
“Margaux, why are you here? You should rest first.” There was a shock in Karen’s voice, my secretary.
“I will go crazy if I just mumble in my condo. Besides, I still have a lot to do. There will be holidays again,” I said. I was wearing sunglasses, so she didn’t pay attention to my puffy eyes.
I went straight to my office.
“Are you really okay?” she asked worriedly.
I just smiled at her and removed the sunglasses before facing the papers on my desk.
“Margaux, if you need someone to talk to, please do not hesitate to call me,” she said in a low voice.
“I’m okay, Karen. I just don’t want to talk about what happened. I’ll call you when I need something,” I told her.
“Okay,” she answered and then left my office.
I began working. I don’t want to free my brain for a moment. Until the intercom on my desk rang.
“Lester is on the line. You want to talk to him?” said Karen on the other line.
I closed my eyes firmly before answering. “I’ll talk to him.”
“Hello?” said Lester on the other line, but I did not answer.
How my heart broke when I heard his voice. “Margaux, can we talk?” My tears flowed.
“Baby, I love you . . . I know you know that. Something just happened that I couldn’t make it to our wedding. Please, I need to talk to you,” he said, begging. “Babe?”
I took a deep breath before speaking. “Okay. Let’s talk after office hours.” Then I quickly dropped the call.
The day ended quickly, which I barely realized because I made myself busy.
“It’s Lester again,” Karen said on the intercom.
I pressed the enter button. “Hello?”
“I’m outside your office,” he said.
“Okay, I’m going down.”
I didn’t bother to fix myself like I used to. I didn’t put lipstick and blush on.
When I came out of the building, I immediately saw Lester leaning against his car. My chest throbbed loudly. He was wearing a white V-neck shirt, bleached jeans, and rubber shoes. Looks like he just finished taking a bath but forgot to shave. He also appears to be sleep-deprived, as seen by the dark circles beneath his eyes. Despite that, he was still handsome. I also noticed that he was holding a cigarette.
When he noticed me, he immediately threw away the cigarette he was holding and greeted me. He would have kissed me on the cheek, but I quickly avoided it.
“What else are we going to talk about?” I said in irritation.
“Let’s talk in some other place,” he said in a low tone. He guided me into his car.
“No, thanks,” I firmly refused. “I better use my car.”
He had no choice but to agree, so I went to a restaurant using my car.
“What do you want to eat?” he asked as we sat down.
“Just water,” I answered even though my stomach was boiling earlier.
I’m hungry, but I don’t want to be with him for long.
“Marg, baby . . .” He held my hand resting on the table.
“Don’t you f*cking call me that!” I said emphatically and pulled my hands.
“Look, Margaux . . . I’m sorry for what I did. Something unexpected happened yesterday,” he said while shaking.
“My God, Lester, I thought we both wanted this ever since I said yes to you. You simply threw away what we had for over three years!” I spat.
“Believe me, I really want to spend the rest of my life with you . . .” he said in a low voice, then took my hand again and laid a soft kissed there.
I stared at him intently. From my viewpoint, he was still attractive. His eyes are black, he has a sharp nose, and his lips are crimson. Adonis-like in appearance.
Suddenly the pain in my heart changed. I didn’t want to cry in front of Lester, but my tears were about to fall.
“Please tell me, Les . . . What happened between us? Where is your promise that you would not hurt me? Our parents were hurt too because of what you did!” Tears welled up in my eyes.
“Shh, please don’t cry, babe.” He wiped away my tears.
“Stop it! Bullsh*t!” I shouted and yanked his hand away from my face, which caused us to get the attention of other customers.
“Please, baby, just give me one more chance. I can fix this. I promise!”
“I don’t want to hear any reason why you didn’t come to our wedding. I guess this will be the end of our relationship. After all, we can never get everything back to normal because you already broke us!” I got up and went out of the restaurant.
“Margaux!” Lester chased after me, and when he reached out, he grabbed my arm tightly.
“Let go of me!” I violently grabbed my arm.
“No, Margaux. We haven’t finished yet. Come inside again, please . . .” he begged as if he was running out of patience.
“There’s nothing between us, Lester! We’re through!” I said in my cold voice.
“I will not allow you to leave me. I’m just asking you for a little time for me to fix this problem I got into. Believe me, after this, in any church, I will marry you. Please, baby. . .”
His voice is gentler, but that is not enough to touch my heart. I slapped him hard on the cheek.
“F*ck you! I'm not a dog you can leave somewhere and come back to at any time!” I shouted. “You are my first love, my first boyfriend, and the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with,” I continued. I don’t care if people outside the restaurant look at us. “I gave you everything, but it’s not enough! It’s just a pain because you are the first one I love, but you are also the first one to destroy me.”
Tears fell on my face. I deeply regretted crying in front of him, so I quickly wiped away the tears before turning around to run on my car.
I DROVE THE car away from the restaurant. I don’t want to stay there for long because I might just swallow everything I said and flatter Lester’s sweet words. I didn’t want to go home, so I decided to go to a resto-bar. For a time, I’d want to forget about it.I chose to sit on the stool right in front of the bartender.“One tequila, please,” I said.“Yes, ma’am!”A few minutes later, the bartender put down the tequila shot glass, which I immediately drank straight.“One more, please!” I ignored the lemon in front of me. What could be more bitter than how I feel? Even if I suck a lemon and taste the salt, nothing can beat my already broken heart.“Here, ma’am,” he politely said when he gave me another shot. Again, I drank straight. I asked for more until I felt dizzy.“W-waiter, one more, please,” I whispered. My eyes were blurry.Th
MY EYES WIDENED. Anger started to stir up.“You!” At the same time, I pushed him hard as my eyes narrowed.“Hey, I have no intention of offending you,” he said. Then he smiled, which caused me to see his white teeth and his deep dimple.“Well, nice try!” I arched my brow at him.“Look, I’m sorry. I was just chasing a meeting that day,” he replied in a calm voice.I did not answer. Instead, I walked to the door and violently opened it.“You can go out now!” I said emphatically before averting my eyes.He smirked and slowly walked toward the open door. I stepped back to give him a way, but he stopped right in front of me.“Thanks for the coffee,” he muttered under his breath.I remained expressionless. When I think about how stupid I looked in the middle of the road when I hit him, my annoyance with him gradually returned.“Leave,&rd
I MADE MYSELF busier in the office the next few days.“Bestie, is everything okay with your wedding?” I asked while slicing the grilled pork chop on my plate. Cindy invited me to have dinner outside tonight.“I’m working on your gowns. I want you to wear something a little daring,” she said while her eyes were glowing.“Don’t make it too pretty. Your brides’ maid might beat you up. You should be the only one who is beautiful there.” I chuckled.“No. Of course, my gown also looks fancy and gorgeous for me just because Carrick thinks so.” She even touched both her cheeks then shook her head.I just rolled my eyes and continue to eat my food.“We will do the fitting of your gown this coming Saturday. Carrick’s cousin is with you to fit his too. Oh, bestie, he’s so handsome! My gosh!” she said with a red face.“Tsk. Here we go again, Cindy. I d
I COULD FEEL the heated stare of Lawrence behind my back. Maybe that’s the reason why I felt my face turn red as I measured the gown. I glanced at him. The heat in his eyes made me uncomfortable. “Isn’t he handsome?” the coordinator whispered to me. “That look is not my type,” I denied. “Really? But why do your eyes say otherwise?” he added. I just did not comment because I admitted what he said. After fitting the gown and measuring some more clothes, Cindy finally chose what I would wear. “Alright. You will be wearing a baby pink heart-shaped corset gown. It will definitely lift you up that night,” she said. I shook my head. “It’s okay with me even if it’s not too pompous. Besides, it’s your wedding day, not mine.” “Bestie, I want you to be the most beautiful after me because I know you deserve it. Even if you wear rags dresses, you will definitely shine,” she said as if she encouraging me. “I want you to wear
I JUST CLOSED my eyes and continued dancing but was immediately dilated when someone held me. “What are you doing here?” Instead of answering, he took off his coat and covered my body. “You’re drunk!” he shouted because the music is too loud. “No, I’m not!” I felt his hand on my wrist, and I was stunned. My heart was pounding. “Bestie, we have a problem. Carrick is here!” I heard Cindy say, and I succumbed to her tow as we saw Carrick approaching. “Hello, love! What are you doing here?” Cindy asked with wide eyes. “The group decided to continue the bachelor’s party here,” he replied and kissed his fiancée on the cheek. “You should not be here!” Cindy muttered. “It’s alright, love. They seem happy to see us,” Carrick replied before glancing at some of his companions. I looked to his companions. I think they are at ten. Some of them are familiar. “Okay, love,” Cindy agreed before hugging her groom and givi
“WHAT THE?!” I quickly stood up and covered my blushing face tightly. “You can use the shower if you want. I have prepared clothes for the employees,” he said softly as if nothing had happened. “No, thanks.” I lowered my hand and pretended not to be affected by his body. He was now wearing his black shorts. “As for what happened earlier, I just want to apologize for my action,” he began. “You should not have done that,” I said in my low voice. “Peter took advantage of you. Didn’t you notice that? He took advantage of you because you’re drunk; that’s why he tried to kiss you.” I watched his jaw clenching so hard, and the darkness of his eyes was staring at me intently. “But you should not hurt him! Besides, we’re just dancing!” I said without blinking. “So you mean, you like the idea of him kissing you?” I could not believe what he said. “Of course not!” I said quickly. “I’m not buying it,” he sai
“IT’S OKAY! THE breakfast is delicious, so it’s okay,” I said shyly, although I have not forgotten what he did to me last night. “The dress fits you perfectly. You look beautiful today,” he praises. “Thank you for the dress. You shouldn’t have bothered in the first place.” My cheeks become redder. “Don’t think about it. You’re beyond gorgeous in that dress,” he replied before turning his back on me and return to the man he talked to earlier. With delight in my heart, the heat traveled to my cheeks. I followed him with my gaze. I thought I’d just go back to the suite first and called Cindy. But I’m frozen to my feet when I saw Peter approaching me. “Peter?!” “Yes. You must be shocked?” A sweet smile flashed on him. “No—honestly, yes!” I muttered. He laughed a little. I quickly turned to Lawrence, who was now busy talking to someone again. “I’m sorry for what happened last night. How are you? You alright?”
I REMAINED SILENT. I have no intention of discussing this matter further because I am not in the position to ask him for an explanation. I just went straight to the room he had reserved for me last night and slumped on the side of the bed. I calmed myself a few times before noticing the red rose he had given me. I closed my eyes for a moment and smelled its scent. I can’t help but smile when I saw again the letter he wrote. “Hmm. Lucky rose . . .” My eyes opened. Lawrence leaned against the door frame staring at me with a curved lip. His dimple shows. I can’t help but be overwhelmed. What would it be like to be trapped in his arms, especially if something more serious had happened to us last night? I quickly shook my head and scolded myself for thinking about that. “Our lunch is ready. Let’s eat,” he said before leaving. I quietly followed because I actually starving. He pulled out a chair for me and gently tapped my shoulder before si