After that text I couldn’t sleep, I didn’t reply and wouldn’t. I changed my phone number when I moved and I haven’t given it to anyone besides the hospital, the children services worker who helped me get out, my employment insurance worker and my father.I unpacked our hospital bags as I waited for my father to come back, I felt my phone vibrate again and I looked at it nervously,Dad: Will be there soon, giving you a heads up so you can start unlocking your locks ahead of time so your food doesn’t get cold.I laughed, how I missed my father’s humor. I walked over the door and unlocked my deadbolts, as I seen my father walk in with a large box and several bags. “What is this dad?” I was eyeing him down.He shrugged his shoulders, “Just a few gifts for my grandson, you can’t do it all by yourself Kay. So what is going on with you and Darren? Does he have visitation or help out?” I shook my head, “I ran dad. I couldn’t take it anymore, I rented a truck and hauled as much stuff as I co
I spent most of the afternoon and evening with my father, we caught up on everything we missed out on. He brought me and Jeremy to the grocery store and made sure I had lots of extra food, he was heading back to work tomorrow and would be gone for the week. I think he bought me food for 3 months, I got used to not eating much. I spent most of my money on things for Jeremy and putting payments on my debt. My father also wanted to leave me his car while he was away at work since he wouldn’t be using it. “Are you sure you guys will be ok here?” he said on his way out the door looking around my apartment. I nodded, “Yes dad thank you for everything, we both really appreciate it.” With that he left, I took Jeremy in my arms and gave him big snuggles. This little boy was beyond perfect and I wouldn’t let anyone hurt him, I couldn’t. He looked up at my with his big brown eyes, I was so thankful I made the choice to run. We didn’t have much but we had each other and I’ll do everything in
I spent the next weeks trying to catch up on sleep every time Jeremy slept, he seemed to always be up every night around 4 until about 6. I kept getting texts all week from different numbers, I would block the number then I would get one from a different number,Unknown number: Tell me where you are before I find you.Unknown number: I’m not saying it again! Tell me now before I get fucking pissed off.Unknown number: I’ll call every fucking hospital in the state until I find out where you had my son, I will fucking find you.Unknown number: I miss you so much can I please meet my son, we are supposed to be a family. Let me be part of your lives, I want to be there for my son the way my father wasn’t.Unknown number: I love you Kay, I know I fucked up, can you please forgive me I promise you no more shit, I’m done with the drinking and drugs let me show you how much I’ve changed.I constantly ignored his messages even though a little part of me wanted to answer him and tell him
I woke up to my phone ringing, it was really late. I sat up looking around when I saw Jeremy begin to move, I grabbed my phone quickly and answered before even looking at the caller ID,“Hello, is this Kay Myles?”“Hi, yes it is can I help you?” my voice was muffled as I just woke up, I glance at the clock and it was 3 in the morning.“Ms Myles, I am calling from the Mexican border patrol, I was just calling to let you know we have arrested a Darren Spencer. He asked we give you a call so you would not worry. He is in custody and will be detained at Sonora Correctional Centre if you wish to contact him.”I was a bit taken back, why would he ask them to contact me. I shook my head,“What did he get arrested for?”“He was found with several narcotics trying to come into Mexico.”I shook my head, of course he was. Why would he want me to hear this. I thanked the man and hung up, this wasn’t the first time he was arrested.FlashbackI had just found out about Darren emptying my account an
I woke up in the morning feeling very restless after last nights call I couldn’t go back to sleep. The Sonora jail called, I contemplated answering but curiosity got the best of me.“Hello?”“Hey babe, can we talk?”That’s the first time I heard his voice in a month, I felt my heart beat faster. I didn’t know what to say to him, I was completely speechless.“How about I talk and you can listen. I’m looking at about 5 years for this. The lawyer I met with this morning told me he thinks he can get me off with a promise to not return into Mexico but it could take a year or two to get there.”I still didn’t say anything, I listened to his hurt voice as he tried to explain everything to me.“I love you so much Kay, you have no idea how crazy I went when you left. I fucked things up bad didn’t I? It wasn’t supposed to be this way, I was supposed to be there for you and our little boy. We were supposed to be a family and I messed up so bad this time. What’s his name?”“Jeremy” I was able to
Tomorrow was the day my dad was supposed to be coming home, I was looking forward to seeing him again. I definitely needed a distraction after days of contemplating if I should write Darren or not. My head said no while my heart was begging me too.Jeremy was starting to sleep a bit better, so I was feeling more rested and like myself. Instead of being up every 2 hours, sometimes he would sleep 4 hours at a time which was amazing.My phone rang, I glanced down at the caller ID, it was the jail again. He has called me every single day since we talked but I felt guilty knowing those talks were costing him food. I have ignored each of his calls since then, I looked over at Jeremy who had his big brown eyes open suddenly,“Good morning handsome”He gave me a big gummy smile, I loved when he smiled at me although I’m pretty sure it was just gas.I decided to take him out for a walk, we haven’t really been out much and I was beginning to feel down. I haven’t even explored the town since we
I sent a bit of money into Darren’s account and began to write a letter,‘Hey, hope all is going good for you there. I know it can’t be easy, but maybe this is a sign Darren, it’s time to slow down. In a way I do wish you would of met Jeremy, he is so beautiful. He looks so much like you, he is literally perfect. I sent you some pictures in the letter so you could see him. I am sorry for the way things worked out but I can’t do this anymore, our son deserves better.’I left it at that, who even writes letters anymore, and what was I supposed to say to him. I put the letter in the envelope along with some pictures.I took Jeremy out and went to the mail, dropping the letter in there, once I got home I was receiving a call from the jail,“Hello?” “Hey, thank you for sending me money.”“Yeah I thought you weren’t going to call constantly, I wrote you a letter so you don’t need to call constantly ok”“Thank you, I just wanted to try it out make sure it worked, I got a few things from can
The next day, I was waiting for my dad to come visit. He called earlier and asked if I wanted to go spend a few days at his place, I agreed it would be nice to get away for a bit. I knew Darren was locked up and wouldn’t be able to find me, I had everything packed while Jeremy slept. I decided to write another letter to Darren,‘Hey, there’s something I want to ask you, I want an honest answer. Have you ever cheated on me? I keep thinking about it, I want you to know I’ve never cheated on you. You made me feel so shitty about myself when I was pregnant and I’ve never done anything. I really loved you a lot Darren, I always have and I think I always will.If you ever want things to work out we need to talk more and work some things out. We need to be honest with each other and rebuild our trust. My gut tells me you cheated, I have come to terms with the fact you have cheated on me and I know you weren’t in the right state of mind. I have forgiven you for it, but I refused to forgive yo