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12- Ulterior Motive

I'm well acquainted with fear. It's something I've always felt in the pit of my stomach. It's something which always accomplished me even though everything and everyone abandoned me at some point.

I faced my real and worst fear when my mother was still alive and living with me. We were anything but happy. Dealing with my father's untimely death wasn't easy. It hit us out of nowhere, whacking our lives, shattering our hearts. Mom's condition worsened after his death. She was showing severe signs of schizophrenia. I didn't have enough money for her therapy and treatment. I lived in constant fear when I left her alone and went to work to earn our livelihoods. Every second I feared that she would do anything drastic and harm herself, every second I felt like a failure as a daughter.

Fear. I'm feeling it now. However, in different stages of my life, fear wears a different disguise. One time it's life threatening and the other time it's mind numbing. Like right now. I don't know how to pr
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