Josh made many other confessions to Kate; about how he felt as an only child, just like Kate, and his mother being a caregiver in the UK like so many other Filipino professionals lured by greener pastures overseas and driven away by her mother country’s lack of opportunities. She would care for so many patients and children but not the one she missed the most: her own child. She dreamed of someday bringing Josh to the UK on a residence card but with the UK leaving the EU and protectionist politics creeping in, that dream was taking longer and becoming more remote.
This explained why Josh never lacked money or material things. He was practically loaded and had the best imported sneakers and comic books shipped on his birthdays. He could afford to eat at restaurants every day, which he did because his father was usually too wasted to look after him. Apparently, the LDR with his wife had driven Mr. Guerrero to loneliness, the bottle and into the arms of a different woman each night.
It was kind of backwards but Mr. Guerrero had started to live the single life and Josh was in fact the more mature of the two. Of course neither he nor Josh told his mom about it but somehow his mom knew (Josh suspected it was because a relative or neighbor had informed her) and there were talks that his mom wanted a divorce. Josh simply thought it was long overdue because early on, he had noticed that his mom and dad talked less and less over the phone and, on the rare occasion that they did, they argued.
Hearing all these things, Kate felt that Josh was more mature than everyone gave him credit for. Being the alpha male in his group also meant he had leadership potential. Kate was convinced his involvement in a gang and petty school pranks was just a temporary phase, something that most male students went through. Why, even university students had their brotherhood troubles – initiations, inter-frat scuffles. And when it came down to it, she, Lor and the Bali Girls weren’t the Mean Girls but they were no angels either. It didn’t mean she supported or encouraged cliques, just that she understood.
In hindsight, Kate had been rationalizing The Retaliators’ actions like copying homework in the men’s bathroom (forcibly taken from a teacher’s pet), cheating during exams, cutting classes, gambling, vaping and doing blow, putting whoopee cushion on the teacher’s chair and duct-taping a student to the wall. It was Kate’s theory that, because of CITS’ high academic orientation, the varsity teams for both men’s basketball and women’s volleyball were next to non-existent. Kate knew because SHE was captain of CITS’ volleyball team and they had entered the conference-level competition, where they were promptly and effortlessly eliminated. Kate thought the disorganized organized sport was a viable explanation for all the pent-up teenage male energy.
The usual places Josh and The Retaliators hung out were the rooftop and The Bowl. The first was part of the brand new school building and was supposed to be off-limits to students but somehow The Retaliators had a duplicate of its door key. The second, The Bowl, was a two-acre natural depression enclosed by forested, undeveloped land and was in effect like a park. It was a ten-minute walk northeast of the academic buildings and Josh had invited Kate plenty of times but she accepted only twice.
Part of the problem was because Josh usually went with his gang, and Kate, apart from Bernadette the Super Glue, would be the only girl if she didn’t bring a chaperone. The Retaliators brought guitars, a soccer ball, comic books, cigs and e-cigs, gum, firecrackers and, Kate was sure, plenty other stuff that wasn’t wholesome, which was why she was scared to be with Josh at The Bowl.
But the main problem was Josh’s Roman hands and Russian fingers. Understanding the problems of early pregnancy not from the antiquated and Church-approved sex ed videos they were forced to watch in MAPEH but from real-life examples like her neighbors, Kate was determined to hold on to her virginity till she was 100% certain of her feelings. This was the cause of many an argument between her and Josh, the worst of them had him calling her a prude and blaming her for not “putting out.” No matter how hard they argued and how many times he invited her to his house, she was adamant. She said that if Josh truly loved her, he should be willing to wait till she was ready.
“And when would that be?” Josh asked with a frustrated look.
“When we’re married.”
That sent him into a rage. Kate didn’t think his wait would be that long but it was a good go-to answer. She didn’t care about the other girls in school who either confessed or lied that they’d done it. For her, everything needed to be perfect. The perfect guy, the perfect place, the perfect moment. It drove Josh crazy when he couldn’t understand what she meant by getting her “in the mood.”
Every time she said no, Josh would sulk and they might even have a cold war for a few days. But he was always gentlemanly enough to stop touching her when she told him to. He said it was because he respected her. Kate suspected it was because he knew how stubborn she was about the issue.
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Kate had been to the new building’s rooftop only twice. The second and last time was during the incident with the nerd. Kate was talking to Dion Agustin about the prom posters when it happened. In the Philippines, prom was usually scheduled on Valentine’s Day itself. CITS’ theme that year was “Timeless”; a product of Dion’s imaginative genius. The decorations were futuristic and involved giant papier-mache robots, gadgets and Dr. Who’s police box in the middle of the gym. They also planned to put up laser lights and special effect smoke. Kate thought the whole concept was original and that Dion had such good taste. Dion Agustin was the exact opposite of Josh Guerrero. He was the School Council president and all-around CITS golden boy. He always donned his trademark plastic-frame glasses and perfect Edward Cullen hairdo and was impeccably dressed. Although all guys were required to wear the same short-sleeved white button-down shirt and navy blue trousers (P.E. polo shirt and joggin
“This doesn’t concern you, Kate,” Josh growled. “Turn around and head back where you came from. You didn’t see nothing.” “Yeah, run on back, Little Miss Sunshine! This ain’t your world,” George sneered. Kate had no idea where he got the moniker or if he came up with it just then. The nickname terrified Kate because it gave her a glimpse of their true opinion of her. It also felt like the group consensus; that she was someone who was whittling away Josh’s resolve. It was a sick kind of jealousy between romance and brotherhood, which were the two futures Josh was torn between. Still, George’s and Luke’s leers terrified her more. It was as though they could probe through her school uniform, all the way to her soul. Kate was so scared she almost did back up. A glance in the nerd’s direction and the pleading expression behind the thick glasses froze her to the spot. The gaze said: Don’t leave me. So Kate held her ground. She literally stomped her school shoes and held her head higher. S
Kate would’ve brought her blue laptop to her bed and surfed the Net on her tummy till her elbows went numb. But this wasn’t one of those days when she’d be in the mood to swing her legs up behind her while listening to the beats. No, today was a time to be somber and reserved. Like when taking an exam whose questions were the exact opposite of what she had studied. So Kate continued to sit at her study table and stare at the laptop screen. She had decided she wasn’t going to think of anything remotely connected to Josh or boys in general. Maybe just check her email or look at some cute puppy pics. Kate had asked her ma plenty of times about keeping a dog but Mrs. Lapuz wouldn’t budge because, in her own words: “Puppies and dogs are two very different things. If you only love the puppy and not the dog, then you’re not ready to own either. Besides, I know I’ll end up taking care of it, not you. So, no.” Speaking of, her ma had already gone to the diner. She had the dinner shift but she
Kate thought the most interesting and touching part of Dion’s email was the fact that, for the first time ever, Dion had communicated with a personal tone. For the entire year they had worked together, often for long hours after school, he had never once sounded to her like anything except a very polite person. Kate just thought he was a genius because he would give her advice about high school and talk to her about cutting-edge gadgets and research that he had read about on the web. He treated her like a younger sister – at least that was how it felt. Whenever he asked her if she was hungry or tired, she had never made anything out of it other than the concern of an older brother. But now that she thought about it, she had probably been too focused on Josh that she failed to notice the times when Dion was actually being tender. Like that one time before she and Josh got together, Kate caught a cold and was sniffing and miserable in first period. When Dion found out, he bought all the
Kate scrolled down to the screenshots below the app description and swiped her thumb to the left. The screenshots featured the same soft artwork and oil pastel colors: a park, a beach, sample chat exchanges, the guy’s bedroom, his wardrobe and a chart of various emoticons. The screenshots announced: | Create your very own customizable boyfriend! Enabled with empathic AI, Your Dream Boyfriend will listen intuitively to you! Travel around the world with him! Purchase upgrades for your stylish boyfriend makeover! | The most suspicious thing was the fact that there were no ratings yet. It just said “Unreleased. This app is in development. It may be unstable.” Kate read the maker’s name: Oishii Des Co. Ltd. {Sounds Japanese,} she thought. It appeared the same company was responsible for creating other apps such as the Personal Companion and Basic Counsellor, which both looked legit. Kate clicked the READ MORE link below the brief description. | Chat with him anytime anywhere.
Over on Lor’s end, Kate could hear a constant background noise of auto rickshaws honking, dogs barking and kids shouting on the street. She imagined Lor could hear the same from her end. But at least Kate didn’t have younger siblings who fought all the time and were as loud as stray cats in heat. Those were the worst (the cats), screaming like Dragon Ball martial artists and running on rooftops in the dead of night. Lor screamed with the scandalous voice of a fish market vendor: “Leonard! Lisbeth! SHUT UP!” Then, Lor’s youngest sister, a 1.5-year-old named Lily, opened the bedroom door and toddled into view. “Awww,” Kate gushed. “Lily’s so cute! I just wanna pinch those rosy cheeks!” “I know, right?” Lor said as she picked up her sister and bounced her on her lap. Lily cooed and laughed and tried to reach Kate through the screen. “I wish teens like us retained their kissability and huggability from childhood.” “What do you mean? You’re still kissable and huggable.” “Oh yeah
Kate was doing exactly what Lor told her not to. She was stalking Josh on Fasebook. First, she thought she would do something productive like change her relationship status. She hesitated just the slightest bit when choosing between “Single” and “It’s Complicated”, but in the end she went with the more obvious of the two. A few seconds after she did, Dion clicked Like and that cheered her up a lot. It was preposterous but she had felt what teens always felt when posting something: the fear that not a single friend would care. Lor’s warning about revenge or rebound relationships gave her the strength to continue steering clear of Dion’s day-old PM. But then the dang mouse moseyed to the left and over the chat panel, which she had turned off. Like a roulette pointer it touched Josh’s darkened tab and a label sprung sideways before Kate could do anything. It read: | Joshua Guerrero Became friends with Bernadette Medina 4 mutual friends including Lorraine Maliksi and Dion A
When the rhyme vanished, a small window appeared next to the oven. There were five tabs above it. The first tab had a hair icon, the second a face, the third a torso, the fourth a sun wearing shades and the fifth a shirt. Kate clicked the Hair tab and she was presented with a whole gamut of men’s hairstyles: undercut, curly, layered, wave, Harajuku matted style, asymmetrical emo, mohawk, crew cut, man bun, spiky, flat top, dreads, Elvis… Kate thought it was because the app-maker was Japanese or hair dyes were sold separately, but all the hairstyles were black. It was a good thing though because she was already having a hard time just picking the style. She settled on Layered after a great deal of toing and froing. Next, she clicked the Face tab and was presented with the close-up of a wireframe face spinning lazily. On the left edge of the window, additional tabs had appeared: Face shape, Eyebrows, Eyes, Nose, Lips and Ears. The character’s face would change instantly depending on