A knock on the door snaps Astrid back to reality. She feels her face wet and almost laughs. Such a weird feeling to not realize you're crying.
"Lady Astrid?" A eunuch comes in, even though she didn't answer. But she got used to them. They are the shadows of the harem, coming and going as they please.
"Does Lady Tamara need anything?" Astrid asks. She didn't tell Tamara what happened, she just lied and said she was not feeling well. It's not that she wanted to lie to her, it's just that Tamara would try and defend her actions and she doesn't want that now. She wants the blame and the shame to drown her.
"No. The king sent me." The eunuch answers and hands her a golden handkerchief.
"I am not feeling well." Astrid answers and tries to give it back.
"My lady, the king may had taken an interest in you, but that doesn't make you better than us. We all obey his word in this harem. I was ordered to give you this. You are ordered to go tonight. Please don't make this harder for me. If you don't want it, return it yourself."
With that, he just turns around and walks out. Astrid is shocked and her mouth is still agape when Tamara enters.
"What happened?" She asks.
"I think I just got a reality check." Astrid answers and shows Tamara the handkerchief.
Now is the princess' turn to be shocked.
"That bastard is fast..." She laughs and Astrid blushes.
"I don't know what to do..."
"What can you do? You go. Are you worried that Lanna will cause another scene?"
"How did you...?"
"I have eyes and ears everywhere. Like everyone else. Trust me, you can't fart in this palace without it being heard by everyone." Tamara rolls her eyes. "Lanna was given more than she could ever wish for here. If she doesn't change her attitude she will get herself exiled. But some people are just greedy."
"She fell in love." Astrid defends her, not wanting to make her feel better for betraying a friend.
"With power and status. The harem is full of girls like her."
"I can't refuse this, can I?" Astrid changes the subject, pointing at the small piece of fabric in her lap.
"No one tried, so I don't know. But why would you? My brother is not a brute. Worst case scenario, you don't engage in the conversation and he will tell you to return, never to bother you again. And that will be all. You will continue to live your life as another forgotten maid in this palace." Tamara answers, seemingly a bit annoyed at Astrid.
What are her choices? Go and see what happens, breaking Lanna's heart? Or refusing and breaking Tamara's? One slapped her and the other pushes her on a path she is unsure of. But in this palace, they are her friends.
The eunuch words come to her mind. He is right. She is not in a position to refuse an order. She is no equal to the king. She is a slave. Like everybody else. And all the acting that she is somehow special got to her head.
"I will go."
Tamara nods, but doesn't say anything else. Instead, she sends her maids to prepare her.
The evening comes faster than Astrid wanted and her hands start shaking as she walks down the Golden Path for a second time. But this time, she doesn't have time to be mesmerized by the beauty that surrounds her. This time, she keeps her eyes down, her head covered with a thin veil. She wishes to be able to hide behind it forever.
The guards announce her and then everyone else leaves the room. She is alone with the king now, and although she was last night too, this time feels different. It feels, somehow, heavier.
She kneels as the Lady Chaperone instructed her earlier and waits for the king to say something.
He approaches and kneels down in front of her. She holds her breath when he lifts the veil and her heart is racing.
He grabs her chin and lifts her head up so she can face him directly, almost like the first time they met. But more gently. More tender.
"No more burning hate in your eyes?" The king jokes and Astrid blushes.
"No..." She answers sincerely. "Only uncertainty."
"Uncertainty?" He asks.
"In my own heart."
He stares at her for a second.
"That is something that never goes away." He finally answers and helps Astrid get up.
The table is ready and they eat in silence for a while. The king, seems lost in his own thoughts and Astrid is still torn in between what she wants and what she feels she should do.
"Are you displeased you are here?" He finally asks and Astrid can't help but sigh in relief.
"I was, when I first arrived, but Lady Tamara helped..."
"No, not in the palace. God knows if I could choose I wouldn't stay in between these walls either. Here. With me tonight."
"It's my duty to..."
"I've been betrayed too many times to believe that. I want honesty."
Astrid is unsure what to answer so she just looks down.
The king waits for a moment and then sighs.
"Tell the guards I am done with my meal. You can leave after." He gets up and goes to his study, leaving Astrid alone in the bedroom. She got what she wanted. He dismissed her. Now everyone will know it. She blew it. She gave up her chance with the king. Lanna can try to win his heart now. Can live her dream. Can have her children. Can laugh with him. Can grow old with him. That's what she wanted. That's what Astrid wanted.
She gets up and goes to the door, pressing her hand on the massive handle. But she can't do it.
She doesn't love him. It’s too soon to love. But if it's too soon to love, what is it in Lanna's heart? Thirst for power. Tamara's words reverberate in her mind.
She would give up her chance to know him with her friend. But she wouldn't for her friend's greed. And until she knows which one is, she will not walk out this door.
She turns around. She bursts into the study room and looks the king straight in the eyes.
"I am not displeased. I am many things and my thoughts are a mess. But I am not displeased." He looks at her surprised at first and then with a smirk on his face. "Not pleased either. A blank sheet. That I would like to fill by getting to know you! ...My king" She adds at the end, realizing that she just shouted at a king.
"Loras."
"Wha...What?" She shutters, now that the moment of mad courage wore off.
"You can call me Loras. You get to know any king in history books. If you want to know me then start with my name. I am Loras."
She invites her to sit with him and shows her the poetry book he was reading.
"You like poetry!" Astrid's eyes brighten up.
"I do. My mother didn't have a great voice for lullabies, so she read us poetry when we went to bed. How about you?"
"I like art. In all its forms. My father used to say beauty is God's image on earth."
"Your father was a wise man."
They start talking about their favorite authors, artists, musicians. They talk about astrology, about the stars, about the world.
Late in the night, Loras lays in bed. Astrid looks at him, unsure what to do. He senses that and gets up, taking her hand.
"I want you. You are already mine as body, but I want you to offer your heart to me on your own. And when that happens no clothes, no walls, no world will be able to stop me. Until then, I will not lay a finger on you. Come sleep!" He says and the burning fire in her eyes makes Astrid feel like her whole body was thrown in flames. But she doesn't dare to say another word, she lays in bed next to the king, and together, they fall asleep.
In the morning, when the sun will rise from the sea, she will think about what that flutter in her heart meant. She will think about what to tell Lanna. She will find a way to survive the harem. But right now, how her hand can feel his chest rising with every breath, is all she can think about.
"Can't I just stay with Tamara?" Astrid asks in the morning as they eat breakfast. "You want to stay in my sister's service instead of living on the favorite's floor?" Loras asks while pushing a weird-looking pastry, covered with something red into Astrid's mouth. "No way. It looks disgusting!" She protests, but he doesn't move. "Try." She relunctly opens her mouth and her eyes lighten up. "Amazing!" She tries to say with her mouth full. He chuckles. He was born a prince and he grew up to be a king. Not even his sister was so care-free around him. The protocol was always followed and no one left their guard down. But this one... This little slave from the barbaric tribes of the north. She looks him straight in the eyes. Like no one did before. "And yes," She continues, not aware that he has been staring at her. "I like spending time with Tamara. It's not like she gives me a lot to do. Enough not to get bored. I hate sitting around all day." "Then you can go to the garden. Take w
The heavy doors open and in the silence of the night, their sound feels like a lonely heartbeat. Astrid takes a few steps inside the room before they close behind her, sealing her fate."Your Majesty..." She says, kneeling down, but her tone is cold and distant, nothing of the nervousness of last night."Come closer, Astrid. Let me see how beautiful you are in the moonlight." He says and his honey-covered voice almost makes her lose her determination.She takes his hand and they walk on the balcony. The full moon is shining brightly over the sea."Why is the full moon night sacred?" She asks, not wanting to open the subject directly."Shh. Listen carefully."She does as he asks and hears the dragon. His growls are not scary tonight, they sound like a melody. A song filled with melancholy and sadness."He is the last of his kind. When the moon was full, dragons mated. Now, he can only sing, hoping a mate would come. It's a sacred night because a dragon child conceived in this night wil
Now that she took this decision, Astrid has to talk with her friend. If they are to compete for the heart of the same man, she wants to do it openly, not behind Lanna's back. She owes her at least that much.She wants to go to Lanna's room directly, but her appearance is still a little messy since that... kiss. Her heart beats like a drum when she thinks about that. How lost she was in the moment. How amazing his touch felt. How soft and sweet his mouth was.She shakes her head. A bath will clear her mind and as it's still quite early in the morning, no other favorite is awake, so the bathhouse is empty.As she lets the water pour over her body, Astrid hears steps behind her. She doesn't bother to check as she thinks it's probably a maid, here to take an early bath before the work begins.She doesn't really have time to react when someone grabs her by the hair and smashes her head on the wall. The adrenaline hits and Astrid turns around and pushes the person off her."Who are you?" Sh
Astrid is grateful to the medic. The trip to the Summer Baths was long and every move of the carriage was extremely painful. She would have gone insane if the medic wouldn't have given her drops of a potion that made her sleep most of the time."She is a fighter." Loras stares at her almost amused under the worried look."She is, Your Majesty. I didn't expect her to recover and even on the road..." The medic answers while Astrid looks at them in silence. How boring it is to listen to a conversation and not be able to join. This is why she is so grateful to Loras. When they stop for breaks, the pain is manageable so she doesn't have to sleep. Loras stays next to her and reads her poetry so she wouldn't feel lonely. The sound of his voice is soothing and the looks on the guard's faces when they see their king reading poetry to a slave are priceless.Astrid sees the sun almost lost under the trees. Evening. When she last fell asleep it was only noon.She stares at the window and then at
What a blessing and a curse to be confined in a dark, wet cave with the king.Most of the time he is semi-naked and protests when Astrid asks him to put on some clothes. Her argument is that it's inappropriate, his argument is that she is his woman. His argument is better, but truly, she can't tell him that the real reason she wants him to put something on is that she isn’t constantly drooling after him.Well, an option is not to look, but she realized fast enough she can't..."Aren't you cold?" She tries again."No." He answers, containing a smile, as he always does."How about...?""No."She is done! If he's going to play this game, no reason for her not to win.She strips down and throws her dress on the ground. He gives her a curious look, but says nothing.For the next hour, she just walks around, naked as the day she was born, and enjoys seeing him covering his hardened manhood. She expected this to be harder, as she is not the type that is comfortable sitting like this, even if
The weather is warm, so when Loras rips her dress off, Astrid doesn't feel cold. No, the burning pleasure of his every touch makes her body burst into flames of pleasure. He kisses her neck, with his teeth, gently nibbling her soft skin. His hands explore her exposed chest, making her moan when he rolls his thumb over her nipples again. Then one hand goes down slowly, touching her belly, her hips, then grabbing her ass. Her breaths are starting to get shorter and shorter. And when his hand touches the soft skin in between her tights, she screams.The sensation was so sudden, so electrifying. She never felt anything like this before.Astrid looks at Loras. He moved his hand, grabbing her ass and pulling her closer to him. She gasps for air, wanting to say something. To beg him to stop or to continue, she is unsure herself."Shh..." He whispers in her ear, covering her mouth. "There's no one to hear you here. Only I exist for you."When she was about to protest, she takes a big breath.
"Under no circumstances!" Astrid protests."It wasn't a question. I said you will join me." Loras says already exasperated."Or what?"Loras gets closer, trapping Astrid in between his body and the wall."Or else I will tie you up to my bed and have you over and over again, not once giving you the satisfaction to finish. Until you beg me to end your misery. Until you agree with my every word." He says in her ear, with his typical arrogant smirk on his face.And it's truly, not the threat itself that makes Astrid agree, but that sparkle of excitement in his eyes that makes her believe he wants her to say no."Fine." She looks away, as her face gets red. "But I don't want to talk to him.""He's not allowed to address a member of my harem first, so if you don't initiate, he won't either."Sirius, The Lord of the South. One of the bastards that thinks it's okay to drag people out of their homes, murder their families and send them as "gifts" like they are some objects you can play with.A
"Your Majesty... It's inappropriate for a slave to give punishments to the lords..." Lord Sirius says. This man can't keep his mouth closed to save his life."What is even more inappropriate, Lord Sirius is the blatant disrespect for my orders that you showed. And because of it, because you seem to not care about respecting the rules, the rules won't be applied to you. The slave will decide." Loras responds and his voice leaves no room for arguing.Lord Sirius looks at Astrid with a mixture of fear and disgust and she realizes that no matter what she wears or what she'll become, in his eyes, she will always be below him.Astrid clears her voice. She would like to teach him a lesson, to pretend for a moment that she can change his mind by showing him how it feels like to be powerless, at the mercy of someone that doesn't care about your screams. But it would be pointless as people like him could never understand."I know, my lord that most of your money comes from slave trading. The wo