My day didn’t get much better. Hailee was barely talking to me, and all everyone else was talking about was the Raiders upcoming game against Millington. Which meant all day his name followed me, a whisper on the wind, taunting me.
But it was fine.
I was fine.
I’d wanted to lose my v-card and I had. Okay, so I hadn’t anticipated giving it up to one of the most arrogant and conceited jerks I knew, but what was senior year if not a chance to try new things ... and then quickly regret ever going there.
Images flooded my mind as I pushed the sandwich around my plate. His hurried and needy and oh so hot kisses. His big strong hands splayed around my hip, my throat, possessive and dominant. The sting of him filling me... the almost tears.
“Flick?” Hailee narrowed her eyes at me. “Where’d you go just now?”
“Huh, I...”
“Forget it.” She went back to her fries, and guilt coiled around my heart. I hated that things were awkward between us. But she had walked in on me and Jason doing it, so I knew I had to give her time to come around. My best moment it was not.
“You know, you can go and sit with him.” I flicked my head over to where Cameron sat with the rest of the football team.
“I know. But we’re not attached at the hip. Besides, he needs this.” She glanced over at him. “After everything with his mom, he needs the team.”
“How is she?”
“Dealing the best she can. But she’s a fighter, and she really wants Cameron to focus on school and the team.”
I nodded. “So if he’s over there to bond with the team, why is it he hasn’t taken his eyes off you?” My brow arched, and Hailee fought a smile.
“He wanted me to sit with them.”
Swinging my leg over the bench, I stood up. “Come on, let’s go,” I said, prepared to take one for our team of two.
Hailee frowned. “What are you doing?”
“We’re going over there. He might need the team, but he needs you too. And to be quite honest, I can’t eat my lunch with him making moon eyes at you.”
“Flick,” she groaned, peeking over at the team. “I’m not sure...”
“Fine. I’ll go by myself.” I shrugged, grabbing my tray and moving around the table.
“Oh my god,” Hailee breathed out. “You’re serious, you’re really going to sit over—”
But her words rolled off me as I made my way over to their table. A few of the guys glanced up when I reached them.
“Fee, baby.” Asher’s eyes lit up when he noticed me. “And to what do we owe this pleasure?”
“Room for one more?”
“Oh, sweetheart,” one of the sophomore players, Joel Mackey, smirked. “You can sit right here.” He glanced down at his crotch and I rolled my eyes.
“Back the fuck up, Mackey.” Asher nudged the guy next to him and dropped his eyes to the space at his side.
Just as I went around to sit by him, Hailee approached the table. “I wondered how long it was going to take for you to give in,” I heard Cameron say to her, quietly. He swung his leg over the end of the bench and pulled her down, slipping his arms around her waist. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
I sat down, trying to look at anything but Cam brushing his lips over hers. God, they were so in love. So happy. So freaking perfect. Something inside me twisted.
“You okay over there?” Asher whispered.
“Who me?” I flashed him a warm smile. Asher was... well he was like a stray who followed you around; cute and annoying. But he’d never been anything but nice to me.
“You don’t need to do that,” he lowered his voice so that it was drowned out by the conversation going on around us. “Not with me,” he added.
“Do what?” I played dumb, ignoring the pit in my stomach.
His eyes flicked to where Jase sat. He was busy talking to one of the guys when a manicured hand slid over his shoulder. He glanced up, a sly smirk gracing his ridiculously perfect face, as Jenna Jarvis, star gymnast and head bitch of Rixon High, stared down at him with a salacious smile of her own. Without hesitation, Jase shoved his chair back slightly letting her drop onto his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and I almost gagged.
Suddenly, I felt Asher’s arm go around the back of me. My eyes slid to his in question but in true Asher style he simply grinned.
My cell phone vibrated, and I dug it out.
Hails: Are you okay?
Me: Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?
I didn’t meet her heavy gaze despite feeling it burn into the side of my face.
Hails: He’s just using her...
My eyes flicked to Jase and Jenna of their own volition.
Me: Doesn’t matter. I knew what I was doing.
You didn’t tame a guy like Jason Ford. You enjoyed whatever he was willing to give you and filed it away under ‘fun while it lasted’. Jenna knew this, all the girls at school knew this, and yet, it didn’t stop them trying to conquer him. To make him fall at their feet. And there had been many who had tried... and failed. But I didn’t bunch myself with them because I was under no illusions when it came to Jason Ford, QB One, and Rixon’s golden boy of football.
Hails: You deserve so much more xo
The xo made me smile. She might have been pissed at me for sleeping with her step-brother, but Hailee wouldn’t stay mad for long. We were ride or die, and it would take a damn sight more than some guy to ever come between us.
Me: I love you too xo
I hit send and finally looked over at her, both of us grinning. But then something caught Hailee’s eye and her face paled. I didn’t need to turn around. I already knew what I’d find. But I did it anyway. To prove to myself—and maybe her—that I was in control of this situation. That Jason was just a semi-drunk lapse in judgment.
The second my eyes landed on them—Jenna plastered against him, their lips moving, tongues licking—I knew it was all a lie though. One I kept telling myself over and over, because if you kept repeating something, it had to be true, right?
My hands shook as I pushed my tray out of the way and stood up.
“Fee?” Asher’s voice barely perforated the white noise in my head. Jason wasn’t only kissing Jenna, he was devouring her, and I was pretty sure in about ten seconds they would be fucking in the cafeteria. Sexual energy rolled off them, hitting me like a wrecking ball.
“I- I have to go,” I rushed out, trying to keep my voice even. “I forgot. I have an appointment with Miss Hampstead.”
He frowned up at me; eyes narrowing, clouded with suspicion.
“I’ll see you later, okay?” I forced a smile that I knew probably looked wrong.
“I’ll come with you,” Hailee said across the table.
“No, it’s cool.” I made myself meet her sympathetic gaze. “I’ll see you in fourth period.”
But the second I went to move I realized my mistake. To get out of the cafeteria, I’d have to walk directly by Jason and Jenna.
Crap.
Taking a deep breath, I grabbed my tray and kept my head held high. I was so proud of myself for keeping it together. Only a few more steps and I’d be clear of them and their live sex show. Until something brushed the back of my leg, and I froze. My breath caught as I willed myself to calm down. It was nothing. A gust of wind from an open window maybe, or dust particles in the air. Before I could stop myself, I looked down. Dark eyes stared back at me.
Jason.
It was Jason.
He stared at me, through me, as I stood there paralyzed. Jenna was still kissing him, trailing her treacherous mouth all over his skin. Skin that less than forty-eight hours ago, I’d tasted. Skin I had been kissing.
A violent shiver rolled up my spine, my stomach churning.
Move, Felicity. Just keep walking.
Jason’s brow rose as he continued to stare at me, barely kissing Jenna back, but not stopping her either.
His intense gaze was cruel.
But then, I shouldn’t have expected anything else.
Steeling myself, I narrowed my eyes at him, lingering for a second, and then put one foot in front of the other and kept walking. Telling myself he hadn’t just ripped out my heart and stomped all over it.
Jason“We need to talk,” Cameron pressed his hand against my chest blocking my exit from the locker room.“Not interested,” I said coolly.“We are doing this.” His brow arched as he shoved me. It was only a mild push but enough for me to know he meant business.“Fine,” I shot back. “Say whatever you have to say, man, and let me get the fuck to class.”“You go to class now?” He smirked.“Fuck you.”“Why’d you do it?” Cam let out a weary sigh, his eyes asking me a million things I didn’t have the answer to.Shrugging, I said, “Because I was drunk and she was there.”“Don’t give me that bullshit. You like her.”“Like her?” I barked out. “I can’t fucking stand her.” Felicity Giles was exactly the kind of girl I spent my days trying to avoid. Needy. Desperate. Weird as hell.“You really are a dick sometimes, you know that?”“Never claimed to be anything else.” I shrugged dismissively.“I just don’t get it. Vaughn was all over you. You could have taken her back to the hotel…” He let the wor
I pushed off the wall the second Felicity appeared. Mondays she stayed behind after school for book club.Fucking book club. It sounded like something my grandma would have enjoyed if she were alive.“Jason?” Her mouth fell open when she spotted me, those big sea-green eyes widening to saucers. “What are you—”“Let’s go, Giles,” I said, trying to keep it as impersonal as possible. My dick had other ideas though, traitorous motherfucker, stirring to life the second my hand clasped around her tiny wrist. Remembering how it had felt to pin them above her head while I slid inside her, making her cry out my name.“Go? Go where?” She huffed indignantly. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”“You think you have a choice?” I dragged her around the side of the building toward the gym. It was quiet, just like I knew it would be.“Jason,” she hissed, trying to yank free of my grip. But I kept walking, refusing to do this out in the open where anyone could walk by and see us.Shouldering the door to
Felicity“You’re distracted,” Hailee said over her sundae. “It’s him, isn’t it? Jason.” There was a coolness to her voice that squeezed my heart.“It’s not…” I let out a heavy sigh, meeting her gaze. “I thought I’d feel good or relieved or something but now I just feel…”I didn’t know what I felt.The list was supposed to help me push my boundaries, to step out the confines of my perfectly average life and take more risks. It wasn’t like I’d planned to seduce Jason. To play his stupid game of cat and mouse. He was just there. Like a slow building wave that before I realized what had happened, crashed over me and swept me off my feet.“Oh, Flick.” Hailee reached over the table and grabbed my hand. “I could kill him for doing—”“It wasn’t his fault. I need you to know that. I—”“You like him, don’t you?”“I can’t really explain it but something’s different this year.” I’d never looked twice at Jason and his friends before. Neither had Hailee though, and look how that turned out. Now she
“Hailee, come here.” He gave her a reassuring nod, and slowly Hailee rose from the chair. But Thatcher’s hand clamped down on her shoulder.“Not so fast, baby, we’re just getting—"“Get your hands off her.”“Or what, Chase? You’re a lover not a fighter and I don’t see Ford anywhere, do you?”Anticipation crackled in the air, the whole diner watching on with fascination. A few cameras were aimed in the direction of the stand-off between Cameron and Lewis Thatcher and I knew it wouldn’t be long before it was all over social media.“You don’t want to do this, man.” Cameron implored, holding his hands up. “It’s a public place, people are filming.”Hesitation flashed over Thatcher’s face, enough for Cameron to grab Hailee’s hand and yank her toward him. “Go.” He flicked his head toward us, and she hurried to Asher’s side.“Maybe we should call Jason,” she said.“That is the last thing we want to do right now. Your boy can handle it.”“What’s going on here?” Tate appeared looking flustered.
Jason“What the fuck happened?” I demanded the second Cam and Asher arrived at our regular spot in Bell’s, a local bar run by an ex-Raider and one of our biggest fans. My eyes flicked to Hailee who was quiet and a little pale at his side. I barely even acknowledged Felicity. I couldn’t risk her pulling that hypnotic voodoo crap on me, not here.“Well?” I arched my brow, growing impatient.“It was Thatcher. He showed up at The Alley.”“He was bothering you?” Meeting my step-sister’s gaze, my eyes bore into hers, and she gave me a small nod.“Fuck.” I raked a hand through my hair, trying to rein in the anger I felt coursing through my veins. Thatcher was supposed to be my problem. Mine and the team’s. He was never supposed to go after Hailee. But that shit was on me and I’d deal with it.One way or another, Thatcher would get what was coming to him. Even if I had to bide my time until the season was done.My fist curled against my thigh, anger radiating deep inside me. Fucking Lewis Tha
“Is that what you think? That I was talking about you?” I stepped closer. “That was a mistake. You were a mistake. One I don’t plan on making again.”Felicity’s breath hitched, pain flashing in her eyes. “Fuck you,” she seethed.“Baby,” I reached out, pulling a strand of hair. “We already did that.”“I hate you.” Her voice trembled.Good. She needed to hate me. I didn’t need her getting the wrong idea about us.About me.For as much as I hated to admit it, Hailee was right. I needed to stay away from Felicity. She was too naïve, too fucking pure. Until New York, until me, she’d been a virgin for fuck’s sake.I stepped forward again, putting us almost chest to chest. I hadn’t planned on getting this close, but there was no denying she pulled me in. Almost made me want to finish what we started in New York. My eyes dropped to her lips; soft pouty lips I knew the taste of. Her tongue darted out as she watched me watching her.“Jason, what are—”“Shut the fuck up,” I ground out. Her chest
Felicity“Happy game day.” I flashed Hailee a wide smile, but she frowned.“You’re... happy.”“Is that a crime?”“No, of course not, I just thought...”“That I’d spend the week moping after Jason?” Laughter spilled out of me, but it was strained. “Like I already told you yesterday and the day before that, it was a mistake. A blip. Jason, who?”Hailee’s eyes scrutinized me. Sharp and assessing and filled with doubt.“If it makes you feel better,” I went on, filling the awkward silence, “I added another item to my list.”“You did?” Her brows went up as the school came into view.“I did. Number eleven: Do not, under any circumstances, fraternize with the football team.”“Asher’s on the football team.” I felt her heavy gaze on me.“Asher is a friend.”“Is that what we’re calling it. He likes you, you know?”“He doesn’t like me. He likes the idea of me.”“We could double date.” She sounded happy at the prospect; too happy.“Hails,” I glanced at her, “Don’t get any ideas about me and Asher,
True. I did. Lists kept me organized; reminded me of things I needed to do. Lists for the grocery store. Lists of the celebrities I crushed on. Not to mention my senior year bucket list.Lists made me happy.“You’re right. I am an excellent maker of the lists. It’s an undervalued talent for sure.”“Oh come on.” She nudged my shoulder. “You know what I mean. Just because you’re not really good at one thing doesn’t mean you’re not good at lots of little things.”“Yeah, you’re right.” My smile was forced, the knot in my stomach tightening.It wasn’t that I was jealous of Hailee, I wasn’t. She was gifted and I was excited for the Seniors Night unveiling. For her. But it only heightened my self-awareness of how lacking I was. It was senior year. The year of college applications and chasing future dreams. A future my parents had all planned out for me since the womb. They wanted me to follow family tradition; attend UPenn, get my business degree and work some white-collar job in the city.B