"You left me no choice, how can you put me in such a position?" I remove the phone from my ear as he continues to shout.
"That was really stupid, don't you care at all about anyone but yourself? I would never put you in such a position Alex." He says for the umpteenth time now. I'm exhausted.
"I'm sorry," I say to him. I need him to stop so I'll say anything.
I've been on the phone surely for more than 30 minutes now just listening to him tell him how stupid what I did last night at Ashley's party was. He says that I should've known he was going to do that because my actions were uncalled for. This comes after he'd been ignoring my calls the whole of last night and today.
I came back home and I wanted to give him a piece of my mind. When I left Ashley's party, I was a laughing stock. People called me pathetic and desperate, all because yet again - he refused me. And somehow I'm the one who needs to a
My mom was my world.She died a few years ago after losing her battle with Colon cancer. She'd battled it for a few years before it ultimately claimed her. Even though it was expected for the few months leading up to it, it didn't make the pain go away. Not in the slightest.I was broken.I was in middle school and I remember being so heartbroken I felt numb. I didn't go to school for a while but even after returning, I resembled a zombie. I was always in my own world and never let anyone in.I didn't understand how God would let something like that happen to her, happen to me. What did we ever do to deserve so much pain?I hated everything. I hated life.That's when Ezra came along.The first time I saw him was the first time, after my mom's death that I felt not so horrible. He walked in
I've been in hospital for over a week now, he hasn't called.I know it's because he's still mad at me.I'm partly ok with that because I don't want him to know what's happened. I don't want him to know I almost...I just want him to be ok.And ok he seems to be because every time I switch on the Tv I see him, he's also all over the internet. He's appearing in music videos too and every other day he's on a different Tv channel getting interviewed. I never thought it was possible but he's somehow getting more and more famous every day.It's so odd to see also, because he's never really wanted this kind of life. He was never into the fame that came with his profession. All he wanted was to play football, everything else he didn't care much about. But he looks happy every time I see him on tv and I guess that makes me happy too. I'm gl
I haven't really grasped the repercussions of my actions if I'm being honest. I did something only putting my own feelings in mind, not at all thinking about the people around me. I don't want to even imagine what they would've gone through had I been successful in my attempt.Dad doesn't talk much, he comes to the ward a few times a week to bring me stuff. I hate hospital food so he always makes sure to bring me my favorite meals as I still lay in the hospital.He kisses me on the forehead and tells me he loves me always. This was never something he did before. Dad is not a very affectionate person so I'd rarely heard him uttering those words to me growing up. But never did I ever doubt he'd felt them for me.Hearing him all of sudden saying the three-worded sentence kind of breaks my heart a little. Because it means he thinks I'd never known it or believed it.&nb
I don't know how much longer I'm going to be here. Mary has been here for over three months and I hope that's not the case with me because schools are reopening soon.I'm not too excited about that but I need to complete my degree in social sciences nonetheless.I'd always hated seeing Ezra go through the things that he did growing up. I wanted to do something, to make his life a little less crappy. Although I did get dad to help out where he could, it still wasn't enough. They used to come and have dinners at my house whenever they didn't have at home, we used to welcome them. But I knew food was only a small part of their many problems. I knew they struggled with keeping the lights on at home, and that Ezra ended up not doing his home works and not studying for tests as a result.His tragic upbringing was a big part of my wanting to study what I'm studying. I have no clu
"Surprise!!!"They all shout in unison as I duck in terror. Are they trying to give me a heart attack?I absolutely hate surprises and I'd been sure to remind Mary this multiple times but clearly I wasn't clear enough. A part of me knew they were going to do this but that doesn't take my shock away. It also doesn't surprise me that Mary went on and did this anyway despite my not wanting her to. She's the same person who promised to not make a big deal of my leaving but went on to buy me a bunch of gifts and gave me a farewell speech this morning.I'd learned that her husband at least had the courtesy of leaving her with a lot of money, despite her not wanting to return to her old life. She says that there's no life for her out there without her husband, that was one of the saddest things I'd ever heard. And it's admittedly been a part of the reason behind my choice to let Ezra go. I certainly don't want to end up t
"Ezra Michael's mystery woman..."*Changes channel*"He was caught kissing someone at a hosp..."*Changes channel*"Nobody knows who she is but that didn't stop him from..."*Changes channel*"On today's news of the rich and famous. Ezra Michaels..."I decide to switch off the TV. I can't seem to catch a break. It's been a week now, how is this still 'news'? Just the other day dad had to get paparazzi off our lawn by hose piping them. They follow me to school and back, they just won't leave me alone. Neither will Ezra.I coincidentally hang up another call from him as his name crosses my mind.It's not fair that he's doing this to me and I wasn't shy to tell him that. Furthermore, he's not making any effort to kill off the speculations despite my asking him to. He's instead fueling the
"Babe! Don't forget dad's Tupperware!" I shout from upstairs after deciding I don't wish to be murdered by my father."I heard you the first 20 times." My idiot boyfriend shouts back at me sarcastically making me roll my eyes."Thanks babe!" I shout again deciding not to entertain his attitude. Today is an important day and I can't have him ruining it for me.I look at my reflection in the mirror a little longer than usual then take a long, deep breath. I've done this quite a few times but it never gets any easier. I do my final check-ups then take my purse to go downstairs so we can leave, dad is probably waiting impatiently."How are you feeling?" My boyfriend asks as we drive silently to my dad's house with the radio softly playing in the background. It's a thing we like to do, one might call it a minor bonding session.I feel... anxious."Excited," I answer him honestly. I'm feeling a lot of things but excitement is definitely on the surface. It's the primary feeling.It's weird b
The wind blows softly against my skin as I take another long breath with my eyes closed this time. Orange leaves scatter the ground and they seem to also be affected by the autumn breeze. I look around the place that used to bring me so much calm and serenity with deep sorrow. "Why here?" I ignore the slight break in my voice. The last thing I want is for him to think he has any effect on me. "I thought being here would make this conversation a lot easier." If there was ever the hardest place to have this conversation, it's here. "It makes no difference to me." I lie. It makes all the difference. I'm battling with keeping it together, this place holds so many memories and I feel suffocated by them. "How are you doing Alex?" He asks seemingly curious. His eyes hold a depth in them I haven't seen in a while. I know he's asking because of what his fans have put me through. It's been a lot. I have no privacy, I've had to delete all my social media because of the constant bullying on