Lydia Gates

Chapter 4

For Lydia Gates, marriage was bondage. To some women, it was a gateway to heaven but to her it was not something she wanted for herself, not even her worst enemy if she could help it. She had watched her parent's relationship deteriorate as a child, it had gone from bad to worse.

Growing up in the care of her nannies, they told her stories. Stories of how loving their parents had been when they first got married, how inseparable they were, how strong the bond they shared had been.

Lydia wanted none of that, and especially not with a man she barely knew. A rich white man would treat her like a piece of trash. Certainly not, she could get everything she wanted and she intended to. Without a man, and certainly not a white one.

How her parents had managed to keep the family estate and the legacy going, she could not tell. It was probably the only thing her father still enjoyed doing- working. She had seen him work tirelessly over the years to ensure they maintain the position and status he had managed to attain as a black man in the white society.

It was also one of the things she was grateful to him for, the legacy. But now she was informed it was all going to ruin if she did nothing to help, she was the first and 'only surviving' daughter as her father would say. She had to help keep the legacy her father managed to build going.

And how was she supposed to do that? By getting married to a rich white Lord to form some sort of alliance! Of all things, marriage? Lydia fumed angrily.

She stood up from her dressing table where she had been sitting and staring outside the windows and into the fields and started pacing about the room. If for just this once her father wanted her help and the only thing he needed was something she couldn't give, then she might as well be termed useless. But how was she going to throw her whole life away for something so worthless?

She left the room now, a final attempt to talk to her mother might help, she could at least try to talk her husband out of this. As she approached her parent's room, Lydia heard voices- her parent's voices. It was her mother's voice first, sharp as steel.

"...You have to reconsider, Barry. You might be pushing her to her end" Her mother was saying.

"You are scared, Lauren. As always" Her father's voice joined"

Lydia paused by the door, one hand on the handle and one ear on the door,

"We can't afford to lose her, can't you see? England is a very far away place for her to go! And to what? A husband she has never met? You know how it is with the white society…"

"That is the problem. The white society, can't you see? I have built all of this, Lauren, from nothing, from scratch! That gap can be bridged and a very trivial way to bridge it is an alliance between two powerful families. An alliance between the Lincoln's and the Gates would bridge that gap you talk about."

"You don't get it Barry, Lydia is our only surviving daughter. I can't afford to lose her too. I would rather give all of this up to have my blood with me, Barry. What if the Lincoln boy treats her like trash? What if she is not welcomed in their home and the society at large, what if…"

Her father's voice cut her mother's short, it rose to meet hers too, "So many what ifs Lauren! But what if they live happily?"

"Like we did? We started off with love and look where we have gotten, how much more two different people with no sort of connection or possibility of a little spark between them!"

There was a long pause, Lydia almost gave up on listening to more and was about turning the door knob when her father's voice came again. This time she had to strain her ears to hear them.

"You know what happened between us, Laur. The tragedy drifted us apart, I've tried timelessly to break this wall of ice between us but you wouldn't let me, how am I supposed to go on knowing that my wife…"

"You make it sound like it was my fault, Barry! It was all your fault, Barry! My maid, Barry. My damn maid!"

"Lauren…"

She could not see them but Lydia knew her mother had raised one hand to silent her father, it was a habit. "I don't want to watch you destroy whatever is left of this family, Barry. You will not use my children as baits for your selfish interest, not anymore.

"They are my kids too." Her father's voice was calm now, almost like a subdued lion.

"And look what you are doing to them, Barry. Look what you are doing to our babies," She could tell her mother was close to tears, "First it was our daughter and then Lucky. And now you want to sell off the only one we have left, and for what?"

"Woman! Lucky married the woman because he wanted to, and now you have grandkids, thanks to that union. I had no hand in what happened to our daughter, Lauren. Yes, I made a mistake, but I've never stopped telling you how sorry I was, I've tried, Lauren. What else do you want me to do?"

"Stop selling off our children for some stupid alliance! They are not a piece of paper you can sign off as a seal to an agreement."

"I'm doing this for them and you know it. Can you just not let go of this grief for once Lauren? For once please, see reason with me? This is what I want for us, you know how we got here, if we don't remain here we will…"

Lydia could not take it any longer. She had heard enough, she opened the door now, "And what about what I want, papa? Doesn't it matter to you at all?"

"Lydia…"

"My baby," Her mother rushed to her and took her hand in hers.

"Papa, what about what I really want?"

"Lydia, I'm doing this for you"

"No you are not! And what is this you keep talking about me being the only surviving daughter? Did I have a sister, what happened to my sister?"

"Lydia… you have been eavesdropping"

"Yes mama! And I've heard the maids talking, what happened to my sister?"

"Prepare your things, you are getting married to Lord Lincoln's son soon. You are still too young to know what is best for you"

With that, her father picked his coat and left the room. Lydia turned to her mother who was sobbing now, she sighed tiredly and rested her back on the nearby wall.

"I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry. I've failed you again"

"Don't be sorry, mother. I've made up my mind, I'll not be here for whatever wedding your husband has in mind"

She covered the distance between them, "What are you talking about?"

"I'm leaving, mother. I'll leave."

Lydia did not wait to hear what her mother would say, she hoped the woman would remember this last conversation later, for she had no time for regrets.