I was about to continue walking when someone blocked my way. To my bad luck, someone on my right side just bathed me a so-so-so cold water that can make a person shiver.
I closed my eyes in annoyance. I can feel my body being hugged by the cold. I don't know how to react. I did not expect this!
They had been bullying me since I transferred to this university. I am already used to being teased and bullied by students but I didn't expect it to be this early!
I heard laughs around, I was still closing my eyes. There are murmurs that has reached my ears, their teasing words are making me melt in shame.
"Aren't you tired of getting bullied, penurious girl?" Denisse asked, the leader of mean girls of this university. When I opened my eyes, I saw Enzo beside her. Enzo and Denisse were couples. They are the leaders who are targeting me.
"For sure she's already jaded, who wouldn't?" Then the other girl laughed teasingly. "If I were her, I would transfer to another school."
"She's lack of money, how can she, girl?" They laughed again. My body was still shivering in the cold. Good thing, my bag is waterproof, hence my school stuffs aren't get wet.
"She's too sympathetic! Aww." Denisse acted like she really cares at me. She looked at me from head to toe before laughing again like an idiot human living in this world.
"I-It's so.. cold.." I uttered weakly. I was hugging myself so tight, thinking that it would prevent what I was feeling in my body.
They laughed again, making me hurt. I felt something tugging at my heart. I closed my eyes again as I felt the pool of my tears starting to form in my eyes.
Aren't they tired too of doing this again and again? Are there nothing they can do and just make fun of me instead of studying nicely and chasing their dreams? Is their goal to hurt me? To be a professional bully?
They teased me more when my tears got out of its hideout. I bit my lower lip before looking down. I stopped myself from sobbing and just wiped it all away.
I was about to face the group of bully when someone just held my shoulders with gentleness that was mixed with aggressiveness. I didn't have time to look back at them when Jinx grabbed me away from their place.
"H-Hey, i-it hurts..." I complained but he didn't even listen to me. He still dragged me away and I just got back to myself when he stopped and made me lean on a wall of an abandoned room in a building.
"Why didn't you fight back, Astra?" My heart automatically beats fast when I heard the anger from his voice. He clenched his jaw while staring at me annoyingly. I gulped before looking away.
"H-How can.. I..?" I wiped the tears that had fallen again. I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes while my face was facing in another direction, really avoiding his raging face.
"You're always letting them bully you! I am tired of seeing you suffer like this, Astra! I want you to fight, but you're too good to do that! I want to punish them and get revenge for you, but I have no rights! Fck this, Astra. You're showing them that you're too weak!"
I frowned, still not looking at him. "Because.. that was the truth. I am too weak that I can't even defend myself from harm.."
"And.. that's the case.." His voice change to smooth and like pleading. I shook my head multiple times while biting the lower part of my lips. I was hurt by his words!
"And.. you're showing me that.. I have no use... I am too weak.. I don't have the guts, y-you know.." I wiped my tears while laughing. I then looked at him with a faint smile. "Sorry for being what I am..."
"A-Astra..."
"What can I do a-anyway? This is m-me. M-My real self.. I c-couldn't change.. what I am.." I tried to not stutter but at the end, my voice broke. I am still shivering and colds make me feel so weak. My knees trembled and was about to be out of balance when Jinx immediately approached and imprisoned me in his arms.
"I'm.. sorry.." He silently whispered. I closed my eyes and cried in his chest. I don't care if someone sees me at this situation but everything what happen's hurting me.
"T-This is just me... I.. I can't be the best version of myself, Jinx.. I.. I just can't.."
I can't be the best version of my wretched self. I will be wretched.
"Hush... stop crying..." He patted my head gently. I sobbed before slightly nodding. "Change your clothes, I have my extra tee shirt and jean here,"
I nodded. I feel too empathy for myself. I have to be independent but I was just leaning on others' walls and never mine. I have to be responsible but I can't just start on how to.
I never had a good start, though.
Jinx brought me to the restroom just right next to the abandoned room. He lent me his tee shirt and jeans, good thing it fits me well. I am also thankful that my underwear didn't get wet that much.
"I-Is it okay?" I asked him as I got out of the restroom. He shifted his weight from leaning on a wall, he then scanned my body from head to toe.
"It suits you well," I blushed because of his compliment. I don't know how to react. I avoided his eyes and just but the insides of my cheeks. "Let's go, we'll head to your room."
"How about yours? The c-class' has already started.."
"I'll bring you to your room first before mine, I can be late, though."
"But---"
"You first before me." He cut me off, voice full of conviction. I snouted before nodding my head.
He walked towards me before putting my bag on my shoulders, I forced him a smile but he didn't even respond.
We started walking silently. I don't know if he's still mad at me or something. But I wonder why he get so angry lately. His reaction just makes me nervous. Why is he tired of seeing me like this? I mean, yeah, we were schoolmates but how did he? Is he usually seeing me while I was getting bullied? Why didn't he help me? Is it because he doesn't care? But why is he showing me lately that he cares a lot?
Fck this mind of yours, Astra.
"Next time you encounter bullies, call me or yell for help." Jinx uttered in a sudden, breaking the silence that was deafening between us.
"A-Ah, yeah.." I responded awkwardly. He looked at me with his serious expression, making me feel more awkward. Heck, I just remembered how he hugged me lately!
I didn't expect him to do that to me, I did not have time to react lately because my attention was not on him. It's the pain that I was feeling in my chest.
"Don't go everywhere when I am not around,"
"And w-why?"
"So that I can protect you?"
I sighed before shaking a head. Why is he too good to me?
"And why would.. you?"
"Because I can't let you harm,"
"And.. why is that?"
"Too much question, Astra. Just listen to me. I want to protect you because you were my only friend. I want you to go everywhere whenever I am just around. I don't want you to always be alone. I want you to have me beside you. Stop questioning, I think my answer is already enough."
I was stunned for a moment. Is he even serious? Why does he act like he really cares a lot? I believe in the statement that people don't care but hearing him saying those words,
I think my perspective has just changed.
I don't know what's with me. I felt a strange feeling that I haven't felt before. This is the first time I felt so relieved.I let out a heavy sigh before writing my John Hancock on the back of my notebook. I have to focus on our lessons but Jinx just can't get out of my mind.I know that I like the guy, I was just attracted. I should have not thought of this, I need to focus first on my studies.I just thought lately that what if I will stop my education and just continue it once I am already better and can stand on my own. I just realized that I am leaning on Sew's and also at Jinx. It's like if I have a problem, they are only the one who is gonna fix it. It's like I have nothing to do with myself."Are you even listening, Miss Marquez?" My attention immediately diverted to our lecturer when I heard my last name from her."A-Ah, y-yes, Miss.." I uttered, stuttering. Her brows creased and I just smiled at her awkwardly. I also smiled at my classma
I was so nervous when I arrived to the hospital. I just came here by taxi and while I am on my way, I could not stop myself from shaking in fear.I just can not believe from what my sister has said. I am not even sure if she really tells the truth.I went to the reception to ask where my father was. It tolds me that Mister Marquez was on the emergency room and that only made my heart's pace go wild."F-Faye.." I uttered under my breathe when I saw her with my siblings and mother outside. Crying and sitting on the chair aside.Cine noticed me first. She was weeping silently while looking at our family. She do not know what was happening because she's too young — six years old only, but she understands what they feel because they are crying."A-Astra..." Cine called and run towards me. I wiped my tears that has fallen when she hugged my legs. "Good thing you came, I m-miss you."I caressed her head and forced a smile. Faye and moth
"What place is this?" I asked Jinx as he stopped his motor in front of a mansion.I was staring at the big mansion because it was really stunning! It was like in a fantasy movies because it felt surreal. I never saw like this in my entire life, not to mention fictions. It was really very beautiful and insanely huge."You will work here as a secretary of a businessman," he said and shrugged his shoulders. I then gulped. What? Secretary? I do not even know how being secretary works and I am still a minor and know nothing!"I would prefer being maid instead of being secretary," I said and shook my head. I was a bit nervous because I could not believe him!And if that, how can we get inside? It was so obvious that it was secured. In just one glance, you will know that if you try to knock the door, securities will kill the hell out of you."Oh, no. Being maid does not suit to you. Do not worry, Astra. This job is easy."I slightly punched h
It was like a very cold water bathed my whole body.Coldness started to run through my system and I felt weak. My phone fell on the floor and that made a sound. The phone breaks and I did not pay attention to it anymore because I felt numb. I could not think clear.If the phone was broken, I am more broken. Pool of tears started to shred down my cheeks so I covered my mouth to stop my sobs. I felt Jinx and Mister Adonis looking at me. When my knees could not take it anymore, I knelt down the floor and looked at the blank floor."Astra?" Jinx called but I did not able to answer. He wagged my shoulders to get my attention, but I was driven by the thought of my father.No, no. This can't be. Dad will never leave us like this. He survived. He did not died! He did not!I gulped very hard and wiped the tears away. I had to go to the hospital so I would see him. I stood up with the left courage in me and faced the two men that was now looking at me
I do not know how to show myself to them anymore. Shame would not leave my system and I also blame myself for being this. Even if I want to defend myself that I am a good woman, the opposite always shows at me. Yes, I did not wished to live. They just made me to suffer. But they also suffers because of me. Sometimes, I also think that what if I did not born? Will my family would not suffer? They are surely happily living without me. Just like what mom has said, she told me earlier that they were already living happy and peaceful as I left. It will really be a good thing so not show myself because I always brings jinx to everyone. And that's when I get it. That is why I have Jinx because fate want to make me realize that I have the bad luck with me. And will accompany me with everything. Fuck this life. I covered my whole face with the white pillow and cried there out loud. I am here inside Sew's unit because I do no
Even if I wanted to die already, someone would still really saves me. I want to end my suffering. The pain here in my heart was too much and I think I could not handle it anymore.I do not wanna live forever.Fuck this life. I am tired anymore. I want to rest. Everything is too much for me.I have a lot of problems and my mind could not even grasp them all anymore. It was like my head wants to explode because of too much thoughts. How I wish I know nothing. How I fucking wish I have no brain because I do not want to think and know how cruel the world is.I fucking hate my damn life!"Astra, hey."I felt someone wagged my shoulders lightly. I groaned when I tried to move my hands. It was like I was frozen and I could not even move. I felt my body numb hence I could not explain what I was feeling to the exact."Astra, you are tearing up. I bet you are already awake. Stop thinking bad things, can you?"I heard Jinx's voice again p
I don't know what did just happened. But I was shocked because I continued living. I could not say that I am happy, but at least, I went on in life. I still survived with the cruel world I belong.I am still not fine because I was suffering depression and anxiety. It was so hard to the point that I want to die already, because my mind and heart could not take the pain anymore. It was so fucking hard.But there is really someone who would not leave you."Astra, eat this." I pursed my lips when Jinx sat beside me. I was just lying on my bed and was staring at the blank ceiling. He attached his palm on my forehead to check my temperature and shook his head after feeling how hot I am. "Take meds later, eat this first."I nodded my head even if I struggled doing it. He guided me get up and leaned against the headboard of the bed with pillow against my back and the wood. I am not hungry, but I have to eat something. I do not want to get sick more be
"Wow, it's good here..." I uttered in amazement when Jinx told me that we should go to the backyard of a unique house. It was really good.The looks of the backyard was so good in the eyes. It has a lot of flowers that could attract someone. The Bermuda grass was cut nicely. I do not know who owns this but I admire them for making this beautiful view and for taking care of it."You know who owns this...?" I asked Jinx in a slow manner. When I looked at him, he was already staring at me. My cheeks then heated because the way he really stares at me was different. I see something that I should not see and know."Me," he said and forced a smile. He then looked away while I was stunned. Really? I would always be surprise to the things he shows at me and I would know later on that he owns amazing things? That he was a part of everything I was amazed of."W-wow, how nice, Jinx..." I whispered and smiled. He bit his lower lip and just nod his head, could not even