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11. Don't Do It Again
They were in their sixth month of marriage, and Zeenah comprehended that Abubakar's bad days, the days she was required to sympathize and compensate for every small injustice done to him, were outnumbering the good days. She didn't know how to fix that, but she suspected it was her fault. She knew other people's marriages were different, that they didn't constantly worry about how to anticipate their husbands' needs, they weren't always walking on eggshells. Certainly, her own parent's marriage hadn't been like this.
She seems to subscribe to nightmares, leaving her exhausted the next day. She dreamt of losing a tooth or falling from tall buildings, a skyscraper perhaps. Or being chased by things she couldn't put her fingers on.
"It is bizarre and cryptic," she related to Abubakar one morning as he sips his coffee, "this new one I had last night. I was in a park somewhere, just walking by myself, and my right leg fell off. No blood or anyt
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Broken Within 12. Who's This?
She tossed and whirled to her left side, a smile lingering on her lips. She had had one of the best nights since the past two weeks. How else can she be convinced not to fall in love with Abubakar over and over every single time when he's this sweet? She scoffed when she remembered Samira's words before she had married Abubakar.'Don't do it, you're going to regret it.'But she hadn't, and she never will. Abubakar has been one of the most incredible things to have ever happened in her life. They might have their bad days, but isn't it the same with every couple out there? Those ups and downs were what made them strong as couples.''You're awake.'' She heard his deep voice say behind her, and she smiled. She slowly opened her eyes and turned towards the sound of his voice.Abubakar was standing in the middle
Broken Within 13. Done For
“You look so thin,” Samira Bashir started as she settled on one of the couches illuminating Zeenah’s living room. “are you okay? Is something bothering you? In fact, you look so nervous Zeenah,” she added, accessing her friend’s appearance from head to toe.Zeenah forced a sad smile and sat beside her friend. "What if I am pregnant?”“Are you?” Samira asked quickly, “because if you are, you’re still in a mess. Remember, you’re yet to cleanse yourselves. Zeenah, do that before it’s too late, please.”“But Abubakar is not ready,” Zeenah heard herself saying. Even to her ears, the words sound shoddy. What was really wrong with her?It was a bright Monday morning, and she recalled the little fight she and Abubakar had before he left in the morning just because Samira was visiting. It had been long since any of her f
Broken Within 14. Dramas
Little by little their marriage closed around her. At first, it seemed like heaven when she thought of the idea of being married to Abubakar. She had all the time she needed to plan how perfect their married life will be. She spent hours poring over recipes, improving her cooking skills so she can please her fiancee when they finally got married. Now, every day before Abubakar came home from the office, she would put on makeup and changed her outfit. She had started to do that after he'd told her one night he hoped she wasn't one of those women who let themselves go after they'd caught a husband because recently she had lost all interest in trying to look good for him.If Abubakar had been a jerk all the time, she wouldn't have been so compliant. It was the in-between moments that kept her with him, the evenings when they cuddled in front of the TV and watched the news, the impromptu romance after dinner
Broken Within 15. Lies
Zeenah had never needed something as much as she needed Abubakar's approval and go ahead in her life. From the clothes, she wears to the type of food she mostly eats, to the people she talks to, damn! To even how to speak.It was a bleak Sunday afternoon, and Zeenah was busy ironing Abubakar's clothes, while he sat, crossed leg, watching football on the large plasma screen pasted on the wall. They had just finished having lunch, and he had subtly talked about his clothes that weren't ironed."I wanted to ask Bala to help iron them, but I don't want to be a Bad Boss. Maybe I'll just iron them later when I rest." He had said that when he was feeding a Zeenah a spoonful of rice, while she sat in between his laps."I'll get them done. I always did, why will you give them to Bala?" Zeenah had asked pouting."But I don't want you to keep suffering. You're my wife, not a maid." Abubakar had said, wiping her mouth
Broken Within 16. Arguing
"What just happened?" Khadija asked as she closed the door behind her, confusion clearly on her face. "Is what he's saying true?" There was a slight edge in Khadija's voice, "I just don't understand what is happening with you these days, Addah (Big Sis). This is not who you are, I don't even think I know you that much anymore!" Khadija said sadly. "You've changed, you don't talk to me anymore, we don't share our secret code and all. I miss you. I miss us. I miss our moments."Zeenah slumped on the chair behind her, holding her head in her hands, she wiped the lone tear that escaped from her eye."I'm okay, Khadija. There's nothing wrong with me. I've just been careless these days, that's all.""And you think I'll buy that silly excuse of yours? You've got to be kidding me!""Whatever do you mean by that?" Zeenah asked stubbornly. "I said what he said was the truth. I don't know what came over me these past
Broken Within 17. The Start
"You look stunning," Abubakar drawled adoringly at Zeenah, who was dressed in a red and white Ankara sewed into skirt and blouse. Her hair was simply parked in the middle of her head, and her headgear tied in steps.“You think? I personally think you look way too handsome to go out. I can imagine so many women tripping and falling for you.”‘Oh!” Abubakar replied, a smile tugging at the edge of his lips, ‘it’s their lost then because I’ve got only eyes on you.’ He wiped the extra lip balm by the side of her lips and smiled.Zeenah smiled and held his left hand in hers, “shall we get going?”“Sure, after you beautiful.”They were going to visit their families. Starting with visiting Abubakar’s uncle, and then Zeenah’s family. Ever since they got married, Zeenah had only visited both families twice. They boug
Broken Within 18. Mixed Feelings
Two days later, Zeenah got a call from Khadija, telling her that their mum was awfully sick and might end up being taken to the hospital.Zeenah quickly dialled Abubakar's number, and even though they weren't speaking ever since the episode from his uncle's house two days back, Zeenah let go of her pride and called him."I need to go home, Inna is sick." She blabbed quickly as soon as he picked up the call."You'll go home when you learn of ways to respect your husband, Zeenah. Now, I'm very busy, do not disturb me anymore and do not dare leave that house until I say so. Else..." He left the threat hanging and ended the call.Zeenah sagged into the chair behind her, her legs were shaking and her eyes were dry. She willed for the tears chalking up her chest to come out, but nothing. She was numb.Was this really the man she had fallen in love with? Was he the same man she had married? The m
Broken Within 19. Rough?
Halfway through the ninth month of their marriage, Abubakar’s determination to get get her pregnant had become all-consuming. She half suspected he would most probably hurt her if he knew she was still secretly taking birth control pills, so she hid them in one of her purses shoved back in a corner of their closet.Convinced that the problem was her, it couldn’t possibly be him; Abubakar sent her to the doctor. She cried in the doctor’s office for an hour, telling him she felt anxious and miserable and had no idea why, and came home with a prescription for antidepressants.“You can’t take that crap,” Abubakar said, crumpling the slip of paper and tossing it into the trash. “It might be bad for the baby.”Their nonexistent baby. She thought guiltily of the pill she took every morning, a secret act that had become her last desperate bid for autonomy. It was difficult on the wee
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