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14. Dramas
Little by little their marriage closed around her. At first, it seemed like heaven when she thought of the idea of being married to Abubakar. She had all the time she needed to plan how perfect their married life will be. She spent hours poring over recipes, improving her cooking skills so she can please her fiancee when they finally got married.
If Abubakar had been a jerk all the time, she wouldn't have been so compliant. It was the in-between moments that kept her with him, the evenings when they cuddled in front of the TV and watched the news, the impromptu romance after dinner
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Broken Within 15. Lies
Zeenah had never needed something as much as she needed Abubakar's approval and go ahead in her life. From the clothes, she wears to the type of food she mostly eats, to the people she talks to, damn! To even how to speak.It was a bleak Sunday afternoon, and Zeenah was busy ironing Abubakar's clothes, while he sat, crossed leg, watching football on the large plasma screen pasted on the wall. They had just finished having lunch, and he had subtly talked about his clothes that weren't ironed."I wanted to ask Bala to help iron them, but I don't want to be a Bad Boss. Maybe I'll just iron them later when I rest." He had said that when he was feeding a Zeenah a spoonful of rice, while she sat in between his laps."I'll get them done. I always did, why will you give them to Bala?" Zeenah had asked pouting."But I don't want you to keep suffering. You're my wife, not a maid." Abubakar had said, wiping her mouth
Broken Within 16. Arguing
"What just happened?" Khadija asked as she closed the door behind her, confusion clearly on her face. "Is what he's saying true?" There was a slight edge in Khadija's voice, "I just don't understand what is happening with you these days, Addah (Big Sis). This is not who you are, I don't even think I know you that much anymore!" Khadija said sadly. "You've changed, you don't talk to me anymore, we don't share our secret code and all. I miss you. I miss us. I miss our moments."Zeenah slumped on the chair behind her, holding her head in her hands, she wiped the lone tear that escaped from her eye."I'm okay, Khadija. There's nothing wrong with me. I've just been careless these days, that's all.""And you think I'll buy that silly excuse of yours? You've got to be kidding me!""Whatever do you mean by that?" Zeenah asked stubbornly. "I said what he said was the truth. I don't know what came over me these past
Broken Within 17. The Start
"You look stunning," Abubakar drawled adoringly at Zeenah, who was dressed in a red and white Ankara sewed into skirt and blouse. Her hair was simply parked in the middle of her head, and her headgear tied in steps.“You think? I personally think you look way too handsome to go out. I can imagine so many women tripping and falling for you.”‘Oh!” Abubakar replied, a smile tugging at the edge of his lips, ‘it’s their lost then because I’ve got only eyes on you.’ He wiped the extra lip balm by the side of her lips and smiled.Zeenah smiled and held his left hand in hers, “shall we get going?”“Sure, after you beautiful.”They were going to visit their families. Starting with visiting Abubakar’s uncle, and then Zeenah’s family. Ever since they got married, Zeenah had only visited both families twice. They boug
Broken Within 18. Mixed Feelings
Two days later, Zeenah got a call from Khadija, telling her that their mum was awfully sick and might end up being taken to the hospital.Zeenah quickly dialled Abubakar's number, and even though they weren't speaking ever since the episode from his uncle's house two days back, Zeenah let go of her pride and called him."I need to go home, Inna is sick." She blabbed quickly as soon as he picked up the call."You'll go home when you learn of ways to respect your husband, Zeenah. Now, I'm very busy, do not disturb me anymore and do not dare leave that house until I say so. Else..." He left the threat hanging and ended the call.Zeenah sagged into the chair behind her, her legs were shaking and her eyes were dry. She willed for the tears chalking up her chest to come out, but nothing. She was numb.Was this really the man she had fallen in love with? Was he the same man she had married? The m
Broken Within 19. Rough?
Halfway through the ninth month of their marriage, Abubakar’s determination to get get her pregnant had become all-consuming. She half suspected he would most probably hurt her if he knew she was still secretly taking birth control pills, so she hid them in one of her purses shoved back in a corner of their closet.Convinced that the problem was her, it couldn’t possibly be him; Abubakar sent her to the doctor. She cried in the doctor’s office for an hour, telling him she felt anxious and miserable and had no idea why, and came home with a prescription for antidepressants.“You can’t take that crap,” Abubakar said, crumpling the slip of paper and tossing it into the trash. “It might be bad for the baby.”Their nonexistent baby. She thought guiltily of the pill she took every morning, a secret act that had become her last desperate bid for autonomy. It was difficult on the wee
Broken Within 20. A Beast
“Where are what?” she asked, her heart kicking into overdrive, going so wild that it made her rib cage hurt. She was amazed at how calm she sounded when terror was corroding her insides like battery acid. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”How dare she play him like a fool? How dare she?! Abubakar groaned angrily. He threw an empty water glass to the floor, smashing it. And he continued to empty out drawers like a madman. “You know exactly what I’m asking.”If he found the birth control pills, he would hurt her. A strange, sickening resignation settled beneath the fear, and her pulse quieted. She was light-headed and freezing. “I’m going to get dressed,” she said, still calm, even as he broke, ripped, threw, destroyed, liquids and powders spilling, running together in oozing pastel puddles.She went to her dresser, pulled out a gown, even thou
Broken Within 21. Woe To You
Three days laterShe felt as if she were floating. Her eyes were closed, and everything about her felt soft, a luxuriating fluffiness like the satin down comforter her grandma used to have. She thought she must have been sleeping. There was a not-unpleasant heaviness to her limbs, like the time she could finally sit down after standing and walking in the market for hours.Then her brain started to focus in a peculiar sort of way, powerless over thoughts that surfaced unbiddenly. Abubakar suddenly came to mind...how he had gotten her this way, and how she longed to tell Maam, but couldn't. Maama. . .As her consciousness began to return, she tried without success to open her eyes. Something tight and sticky was holding her lids together. Now she knew she was s
Broken Within 22. Leave
The words kept echoing in her ears as she stood rooted in the same position she had been ever since she came out to the backyard.'Zeenatu, Allah ya wadaran haihuwarki!' (Woe to the day you were begotten)What had happened to make Maama so angry as to utter such words to her? Zeenah wondered as thick tears rolled out her eyes."Never in my life have I ever regretted ever doing something like how I regret being your mother right now" Maama roared angrily. One can easily notice that Maama was not in her right senses. "Me za'ayi da haihuwa irin taki, Zeenatu? (Woe to the day you were begotten) Nothing except heartache and high blood pressure? Zeenatu, what had I achieved by being your mother?""Maama..." Zeenah started in a broken voice but couldn't continue due to the high pitched cry from her mother."I seek your forgiveness Oh God. Zeenatu is part of my qadr (destiny) and I pray y
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