I spend the last three days studying my ass off because not only is Hodge’s mouth big but also his homework so I haven’t been able to watch the Fast and Furious films. So here I am on my way to our meeting place outside Starbucks with no clue as to what we’re going to watch because I didn’t watch the trailer either. Not only that but Ash texted us yesterday saying something that almost made me cancel.



First I didn’t understand why only me and Clare and not Sammy as well. Turns out Sammy is in love with Mark but Clare don't have any crush. Wow, good thing Alexander doesn’t know that I’m gay.

But that’s not the issue here. The problem is that Group Seven (or should I say Group S?) is coming too and because of the previous humiliating accounter, I was going to cancel. But I didn’t because Sunday means everyone is going to be home. My siblings are not going out and both of my parents are going to be home. Which means another day filled with resentment towards me and reminders of the incident that happened a few months ago and that means it will be another day with me sitting in my bathroom crying nonstop while questioning my existence.

So no I didn’t cancel because being at home is worse than meeting Group S again. Maybe. But Clare, Ash and Sammy will be there and we’ve actually grown closer over the past four days. We text every day and I even told them about what happened with Group S in the hallway and they started laughing nonstop. That’s why Ash was so apologetic when he sent that text but if my new friends are going to be here today then maybe I might make it because with each passing day I feel less awkward around them.

So I just grabbed a pair of grey sweatpants and a black T-Shirt with a black jacket because I was in a real hurry and on my way to come late.

I turn around at a corner and there they are. All of them. Sammy, Ash, Clare are waving at me... and Mark and In are doing the same?! Nia and Elven are smiling at me while Kan and Alexander are looking grumpy as ever. Brandon is smirking the exact same smirk that he had in the hallway and God I try not to stare at his appearance. I reach the two groups.

“Hey” I mumble.   

Everyone starts to greet me except for Brandon who is just standing there eyeing me from top to toe making me flush.

“So lets goooo. Let's get moving guys! I’ve seriously waited a year to watch this movie can we please hurry upppp!” Ash is practically whining like a desperate kid in need of Ice cream. But Alexander just smiles at him and takes his hand and wow this guy turned from grumpy to loving with single eye contact with Ash.

“Come on love let’s go” Ash kisses his cheek excitedly and they start walking in front of us. The rest of us just laugh at them and start to follow. Even I couldn’t help but smile.

“They’re really cute,” I tell Sammy and Clare.

“I know they’re adorable especially with Ash dorkiness and Alexander being totally weak for it” Clare responds.

“And the way they just get lost in each other's eyes every time they look at each other” Sammy continues with a dreamy tone.

“Are you going to buy that lottery ticket?” I ask Sammy my head gesturing towards Brandon.

“God no, being in Brandon presence is easy since Ash dating Alexander but getting him to TALK to you, now that’s luck. He only talks with his group of friends and then he’s actually the one doing the talking to the point of annoyance. That’s what Alexander tells Ash.” Sammy answers.

We reach the cinema and quickly take the best seats.

This is horrible.

The seating arrangement is horrible.

Of course, Alexander insisted on sitting next to Ash. Next to Alexander is Sammy and Clare. Next to Ash is Team and then Kan. Next to Kan is Nia and then Elven and Mark. Next to Mark is Brandon and then me. I’m sitting next to the King after I practically (insulted?) his name four days ago and he is seriously intimidating but I hope the film will take my mind off things.

And Oh God it did take my mind off things to only fill it up with other things. So much violence and near-death experiences and are about to throw up because the scenes are giving me flashbacks to that day. I start to feel the haunting memories come back with full force. I grab the arm seat and squeeze the stone-hard material harder and harder.


I turn around and see Brandon glancing down at his arm where I’m squeezing as my life depends on it.

He doesn’t sound angry or annoyed instead he says it very softly and is now looking at me curiously. Still, I quickly pull my hand away stammering something that resembles an apology but it doesn’t stop the feeling of nausea possessing me and I feel Brandon eyes on me and that’s it. I stand up and quickly stagger to the restroom.

I start washing my face with soup because I seriously don’t want to throw up today but it’s too much and I fall to the ground. Oh no, please not a panic attack.

My breathing speeds up and I start seeing black spots imagining that night all over again and I try clutching at my throat although I know it’s useless. I distinctively feel something warm against my back but it’s probably just the wall.

It becomes worse and worse and I think I’m going to faint. That is until I feel someone cupping my face but I don’t know who because of my blurry vision until I hear the voice.

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