Five Months LaterGiving birth to twins was difficult as it always is, but not being able to bond with your own children was worse and attending therapy had to be much worse, but as long as I was getting the help I needed right? Dr Ferg understood me all too well, or what it was I tried to say but wasn't able to get it through my lips. I'm currently going through a phase of hating myself eternally and internally, what kind of a person has a hard time being around their own children?I always pre-pump my milk, every time K enters the room holding them I exit and stay in my bedroom until I eventually fall asleep on top of the covers and wake up underneath them with K's arms wrapped around, but these days he's always facing the other direction and I don't blame him.Explaining all of this to Dr Ferg is relaxing to see somebody is listening to me and not trying to get me to see things their way, but help me figure things out."Why do you think Khalil hates you?" he asked me and I took a d
After months of much-needed therapy sessions, I was finally able to finally hold my babygirls and I broke down when I held them and I didn't want anyone to take them from me, their smell was extremely sweet and I loved it, their smiles drove me crazy and every time they smiled for me I would giggle like a school kid and cry afterwards. My babies were everything and I missed out on so much of their lives, ten months was a lot but I would make up for it.K said I was becoming obsessed with them because I would always watch them sleep and follow them around the house as they crawled around it, maybe he doesn't understand that I'm trying to make up for lost time and I just can't get my eyes off of them, at all!"Rina! Come help me finish packing up," K shouted from the bedroom and I ignored him watching as Khuli and Khaili played with Remi and Rene, the K twins were just as obsessed as I was with Remi and Rene, I mean who would never be obsessed with such adorable twins? "
Being married to K had to be the hardest and most challenging thing ever, and I don't mean our relationship was hard, not at all, it was whohe was in this place. Always attending events, having photoshoots, a million interviews and having so many people around us. It was exhausting and annoying too.Which brings us to this day, two years later and we're finally having our wedding! However, let us clarify that a bit, the wedding isn't happening because I want it to happen, it's happening because he's Khalil Mancuso and some other reason that I don't remember.Standing in front of the mirror I huffed looking at myself but I was screaming internally looking at my wedding dress, I repeat my wedding dress! It was a ball gown wedding dress, filled with pearls and diamonds at almost every piece of the dress, it had the longest sleeves I had ever seen in a dress, they were see-through but they also had those small pieces of diamonds and pearls plastered around t