Chapter Two


Cayden stared at me.

And I stared at him back.

What is happening? We're currently on the floor with him grabbing my arm and staring into my eyes.

His eyes really are pretty, though, not gonna lie. I feel like if I stare at them any longer, I'd get lost.

"Get— get off!" I pulled away. "What the hell?"

"You wanted to jump too." He says.


"Your eyes. They— I see them every time I look into the mirror."

Maybe I shouldn't have stopped him after all. Maybe I've made his life even worse by stopping him.

"So why didn't you let me?" He asked.

He stared into me. Now I see why girls fall for him. His green eyes are absolutely beautiful. 

"Would you have let me?"

He opened his mouth but closes it again.

"No." He whispered.

"Why are you trying to kill yourself?"

His eyes moved away from mine. Then he looked again. "Why are you?"

I sighed. "If I tell you one of my reasons, would you tell me yours?"

He nodded.

I would have laughed at myself. Here I am, sitting in front of a complete stranger, ready to tell him something I've never told anyone. And yet, I trust him more than anyone else in the world right now.

"Justin Sutton," I said to him. "You know, one of your friends? He cheated on me. With my... 'friend'."

Cayden frowned. "Really?" he asks, and I nodded in return. I almost regret opening up. It's such a dumb trigger and reason and yet...

Justin was my whole world. My life was a complete and utter mess, and the only reason why I ever lived was because of him. He gave me a reason to live. And now that I lost him, I felt like there's really nothing else to live for. Call me dramatic but man, I wouldn't want to live a day in my shoes right now.

"You're worth so much more." He says. "Justin— he's..."

Cayden stops talking and sighs.

"What?" I asked.

"The football boys." Cayden bit his lower lip. "They have this... challenge where the more they can sleep with girls, the... higher your chances of getting $70,000 are from Evan. You know, he's rich. He was the one who started this whole thing."

Knowing that just sent an even harder pang to my heart.

"I guess... you're one of Justin's. And Haylee too. I'm sorry. It's fucked up. If I could stop them, I would."

"The hell you talking about?" I asked him. "You're one of them. Isn't there like a rumor going around that you've slept with at least half the girls in our school?"

Cayden stared at me for a few seconds. Then he laughed.

Even his laugh is pretty.

"You believe that?" He asks. "Christ, Audrey. I'll be some walking STD if that's true. No thanks. Plus, I have better things to do than stick my dick into random girls, thank you very much."

"So..?" I asked Cayden, still not believing him.

"Justin spread that rumor." He sighs. "Said that he's helping or some shit. After that rumor sparked, the girls have different reactions. Some of them became even more attracted, and some are like you. You know, avoiding me and all that."

"So you're still..?"

He frowned at me, before realising what I meant.

"Oh." He coughed. "No. I— I tried doing it to... appeal to the football guys, I guess. But fuck, I hate it. So much. I want to find a girlfriend. For real. I want us to last till marriage. I don't want to just... constantly sleep around."

"So we're in the same boat." I smiled at him.

He shrugged. "I guess."

I slapped his arm. "Your turn, dude."

"Oh right." He nods. "Um... it's just... one event led to another. But I guess it's mainly because my best friend of nine years, he... has stomach cancer and of course, when the doctors found out, it was way too late."

He let out a big sigh. "He was there for me. So now, I'm lost without him."

I nodded. "So we both lost someone close to us."

Cayden looked like he wanted to ask me something, but decided to keep his mouth shut.

I moved closer to him. "Don't kill yourself, okay?"

He raised an eyebrow. "And if I do?"

"Hmm... then I'll kill myself too." I shrugged. "So don't kill yourself, okay?"

"God." He whispered, running his fingers through his hair.

"So deal, okay?" I asked him.

"What about?"

"If you kill yourself, I'll kill myself too."

He stared at me in disbelief. After seeing that I was serious, he gave in.

"Alright. But if you kill yourself, then I'll kill myself."

"Okay." I smiled.

"We're the real suicide squad now, huh?" He joked.

"Come on." I stood up. "Take me home. I don't know how to drive."

"Aren't you seventeen? What kind of seventeen year old doesn't know how to drive?"

"Shut up."


"That's a really nice house," Cayden commented.

"Thanks?" I laughed. "I'll see you at school tomorrow." I grabbed his shoulder tightly. "I will see you tomorrow, right?"

Cayden rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes." He sighs. "Now go. I have a show to catch."

"What show?" I asked him.

Cayden coughs before giving me an answer. "Um... My Little Pony. I just started and it's..."

I stared at him in disbelief, then burst out laughing. Cayden scowled at me, but ended up laughing along with me.

"Have we ever talked before?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I don't recall."

"Why don't we?" I asked again. "Talk, I mean."

He shrugged. "I guess... you were with Justin. I didn't want to interfere with whatever was happening between the both of you."

I nodded. "I guess this is... goodbye?"

He nods back. "I'll see you."

"Of course you will." I grinned.

I opened his car door, slammed it shut and waved at him.

Cayden shook his head and waved back. Then he turned on the engine and drove away.

I turn the doorknob, hoping, somehow, that my parents would be all worried about me. At least one of them. I'll take either my mom or my dad.

But mom's on the couch, drunk.

And dad's not even at home.

Wopee doo.

I sighed and opened the door to my room.

I try to not look at the door just right in front of my room, which has the carving of my brother's name.

Austin Simmons.

My room looks untouched. That's a rare occurrence. Usually, my mom would rummage through my room, searching for money. Any small or big amount.

Sometimes she finds them, sometimes she doesn't.

It doesn't matter.

I lay on my bed, trying to process what happened tonight.

Everything seemed to happen so fast.

Austin, Justin and now Cayden.

I'm really excited to see Cayden tomorrow, to be honest.

I better see him tomorrow.

It's so weird to think that I'm alive because of a guy I just met a few hours ago.

But that's how it is.


"Audrey!" Zoe squealed. She hugged me tightly while grinning.

When she released her grip, she blabbed about a guy that hit on her last week or something.

I couldn't care less.

I'm just waiting for Cayden.

Our morning routine is that all the cheerleaders and football players would meet up in this area where people usually hang out.

Of course, Cayden would be here too.

I just don't know why I never talked to him for like, the past years we've eaten and hung out.

I try to ignore Justin and Haylee snogging.

How is Haylee so fucking shameless?

When I was dating Justin, she would always gush over the both of us, saying how she ships us or how we look cute together.


"Where's Cayden?" I asked Eric, Cayden's closest friend.

Eric frowned. "I don't know, he hasn't replied to my texts since... yesterday after school?"

That ass. Don't tell me he—

"Hey, sorry, I woke up late."

That voice.

Only one person has a voice that unique.

"Hey, Audrey." Cayden smiles.

"Hey." I shot a smile back.

"Really?" Eric asks. "I spammed you with over a hundred messages, and you greet her first? Where's the love for me?"

Cayden shook his head and smiles. "Hey, Eric. I'm really sorry about yesterday. I was too busy..."

He looked at me.

"Too busy uh..."

Eric raised an eyebrow.

"I was on a date."

Eric didn't seem to buy it. He crossed his arms and frowned.

"With who?"

"U-uh..." Cayden stammered. "Audrey."

My eyes shot open.

"What?" Haylee scoffed. "Her?"

Cayden frowned. "Yes. Her. Right, Audrey?"

Is making a suicide pact on a roof considered as a date now?

"Um, yeah. Yeah." I nodded.

Eric was still not satisfied with Cayden's answer, but he didn't ask any more questions.

But, Justin, in the corner of my eyes, was shooting daggers at Cayden.

And, if I were to trust my gut feeling, this was the start of a major storm.

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