Have you ever experienced the same thing as what I experienced? Like someone, but can only secretly admire. You can feel how heavy this is, right ?. Sometimes my heart can act selfishly. I want to have the whole Daren. I want Daren to love me back I want Daren to know how I feel about him
But? Logic still makes me aware. Anything that is forced will only result in dire circumstances. Likewise, love is not it ?. What should be holy must be tarnished by a selfish presence.
Then suddenly, one day, my world seemed to change 180 degrees. The person I like half to death now seems to open their heart. Give me space to enter into his world. What other reaction can I give to that other than a 'wish' .I want to grasp the opportunity that could be a good thing in my life later.
Ever since I dared to contact Daren, everything flowed like a calm river current. I discussed many things with him, even though our chat was still through conversation, like today, when I didn't have class. I sat on the balcony of the room, smiling unclearly, reading the message on my cellphone.
"I always pay attention to you whenever you don't see me in class," Daren chat with me.
"Is it true? I also do the same thing".
"You mean you also pay attention to me often?"
"Yeah, I did it secretly without you knowing," I replied again.
"Okay," Daren replied briefly.
"Why? Are you upset because of me? "
"No, that's not it."
"So what?" I replied. At that time, Daren only read my message. After that, there was no reply. I tried to be patient to wait for an answer from her message. But the minutes passed, Daren still didn't reply to my message.
For the first time, I felt anxious uncertainty. Maybe because before, Daren always replied to my messages. I also read my chat with Daren beforehand, hoping to calm my heart.
Do you know how cute he is to me? I don't know how many times I repeated reading the chat that Daren sent me. Like 'I like the way you dress, you know violent ?, not all girls can get my number, I think you're special because it's only you I sent that letter, I thought you were beautiful in your own way'.
I was too engrossed in rereading every Daren chat. It surprised me when my phone rang. I almost dropped my cellphone.
"Hello," I said picking up the incoming call
"What are you doing?" asked Lesley
"There is no"
"You don't intend to help me at the café? I thought you were in trouble, "Lesley said sarcastically. I glanced at the clock in my room. It was almost evening. I patted myself on the forehead.
"Oh my God, I'm really sorry."
"Great, I'm waiting for you" Lesley's words sounded like a threat to me.
"I lost my shoulder," said Lesley languidly. She laid her head on the café table. The sun has been taking turns guarding the sky with the moon. My reverie was getting longer and looked at my cellphone.
"Okay, are you still waiting?" asked Lesley
"Contact him first, it's not difficult."
"Violen, be a little aggressive as that woman, I don't think it's wrong."
"He just read my message, I don't want to make him uncomfortable by sending spam messages to him, ahhhhh even though a few days ago he was never like this," I complained.
"Wait, so far you have been communicating only via chat?"
"You never talk at all?" The look on Lesley's face stared at me scolding me
"No, there's no need," I replied casually.
"Are you crazy? What's wrong with your feelings?" this time, Lesley raised her head. Her gaze at me is sharper than before
"What?" I asked still, not understanding
"Oh my God, I thought everything was fine because you looked happy these days. but how come he didn't call you at all? "
"Is that important?"
"Okay, how is he in class?"
"Hmmm, what?" I asked increasingly clueless
"never mind forget it. I'll get dinner."
Lesley just walked away from me. I, who was still confused, chose to remain silent. What's the point of calling me anyway? For me, he contacted me even though just by chat was enough to make me happy more than anyone else in this world.
I'm just a newcomer who enters a simple small world. The little world that Violen belongs to. To me, Violen is like a big baby with an erratic way of thinking. Well, I'm Lesley, the only friend Violin has.
I love this, and I love that only I am her best friend. Violen is a woman who looks quiet on the outside, but on the inside, she has a complex trauma for her to bend. I know him since we were in junior high school—quite a dramatic meeting, in my opinion.
At that time, the violen was trapped in the toilet. More precisely, she was bullied by her classmate. They lock the violen. I, who happened to go to the bathroom, heard the violen crying from inside. I asked her, just kept sobbing. Until I did everything I could to get her out of the toilet
Since then, I was helpless, and naturally, I wanted to be her best friend, maybe because of her blank stare at me at that time. The situation made Violen worse when she learned the truth about her father, who was cheating on her mother's back.
Do you know? Violen is a woman who only knows how to love, only knows how to be hurt. I have no right to force her to be logical about her choice. Like this time, it is my pleasure to see her close to the man she likes. that man is Daren
I admit I'm the one who supports her the most—forcing her to throw away her doubts and forcing her to call the number on the letter. It was all just because I was tired of seeing her as someone in silence. And when I feel that letter is an opportunity, I also want the opportunity to end well.
But now, doubts arise for me. Is it true that Daren has been chatting with Violen ?. I mean, Daren, that guy seems to ignore it. Didn't he send a letter to Violen? It should be a sign that he wanted to approach Violen first. But look at the reality. The situation is not what I imagined.
I still let the day go by. But I guess I can't endure any more than this. violen still looks gloomy like last time. Look at my darling, she daydreams and melts her hands lying on the table. Don't care about busy café diners making noise because of their chat. Violen seemed in a world of its own.
"Violen?" I said violen to her table. She remained silent as her eyes stared out the window.
"Violennn?" I said louder. It managed to stun violen and turn to look at me.
"Yeah?" he replied
"Are you okay?"
"Ha? Oh yeah sure. "
"Sweety, sometimes there are things that you might be fighting for. Tell me; he hasn't called you yet?
"Hmmm," replied Violen, bowing her head.
"Okay, tonight I'm staying at your apartment. I'll bring a few bottles of beer, okay? "I said, gently stroking the violent hair. And left
I do have a lot of friends besides Violen. I have an environment that supports me. But I know Violens need me now. The night sky is not always beautiful. Sometimes there are no stars at all or even the moon.
As usual, a not too heavy torch. I and violen sat on the balcony of her room, with our bodies wrapped in blankets. I still see Violen face sluggish. The days had been severe enough because Bryn was always teasing her, plus now she was lost in her feelings.
"You still remember when I was going out with Jordan first," I said, starting the conversation.
"Jordan? When we were in high school? "Violen replied to my question.
"Yeah. Many people think that Jordan liked me first. Jordan who confessed his love for me first."
"Is that right?"
"not. I confessed my feelings to him first. Do I sound crazy? "
"What? Are you serious? You dare to do it?" violen now looks at me enthusiastically.
"Yeah. Why not? I just want him to know how I feel. Whether he accepts it or not it's a matter of luck."
"So you're lucky that Jordan accepted you?" violen improved her sitting style.
"Hmmm maybe. But believe me, I never thought he would take me for granted. I mean you know, I can't say all those men like me as a woman."
"But it's clear. You have everything. You're perfect. "
"Yeah, although Jordan chose another woman in the end," I replied, smiling dryly.
"Oh no," Violen looked at me with pity.
"So, I just wanted to tell you. It doesn't matter if you say what you feel first. If you really sincerely love him, you will appreciate whatever decision he makes about your feelings. I know it will definitely hurt if he rejects you. But I think if he gave you an answer it would be more of a relief. "
"Hmmm, I think what you said is true. I'm just too afraid that he will reject me. But, maybe it's about time I quit this game right?"
"of course. Trust me I just don't want you to get hurt, and I'm really sorry if what you hoped didn't match up with reality. I mean, I was the one who forced you to call that number first."
"Oh, Lesley, no problem. Believe me that my heart commands the same thing."
We were interrupted by our chat. This is where the handphone violen rings. With enthusiasm, both Violen and I saw the handphone screen. The screen was written Daren's name. Without waiting for the violen to open the contents of the message immediately, and read it hard enough so that I could hear the contents of the message
"Hi violen, how are you? I'm sorry I rarely call you, I have to take care of a few things. I have to fix it right? How about tomorrow we have lunch together at an ordinary cafe. I'll wait for you there early "said Violen reading the message with a happy tone of voice. Violen screamed with joy while smiling off.
What about me? Yes, I smiled with her. But not with my feelings. Somehow I still feel like something is wrong.
Violen POVI thank the luck that came to me at this time. For the first time, I felt that the night went by very slowly. I'm not just waiting for the sun to replace the moon. And this day finally came. I gave Lesley trouble choosing clothes for me. I decide not to tie my hair. I even put a little makeup on my face.You must have known why I did all this, right ?. It's because, for me, this is a day when my sweet dream is like a reality. Daren wants to take me to lunch at Cafe Lesley. Is it true that a story will end happily? Yeah, I'm delighted right now."Violen, You welcome the morning this happy ?" Lesley looked at me with a smile"I want to appreciate this important day. at least I will feel the taste of lunch with him Lesley "I replied enthusiastically"I hope you have a pleasant day.""Ough thanks, Sweety. I'm going to college first. And I'll see you at the cafe this afternoon, okay," I left Lesley and walked tow
Violen POVMy world is breaking. My feelings are being hurt. Actually, what is lacking for me? I have a lot of money, I am good at all subjects, and I act like a simple woman. I never bothered anyone. But my world is destroyed.Is it true that I have no self-respect? Bryn's words were ringing in my head. But the fact that made me worse off was the beautiful memories I had. A silly feeling of being happy that Daren contacted me, but All that is just a fake. These are all just stupid things that are worse than dreaming.Without realizing it, I was only loved by Daren's shadow, not by his person. Do you know what I did to make it through this long night? I choose to please myself to the night club. Listening to the sound of music that did not deafen my ears. Sipping expensive wine that tastes good tonight"I have everything you know?" I said to the club
Violen POVThe whispers from the café visitors were getting heard. I was standing right in front of Bryn, staring at the man with a sharp gaze. I don't know where my fear has gone. It was enough in the first year of college and high school that he bothered me. I want to know why he hates me so much."Tell me now," I pleaded."'What will you give me? If you want to know why I did this to you, then I will let you know. But for that, there must be a reward for me."Ohh you want to act even more lowly?" the words that just came out of my mouth."What?" snapped Bryn."Yeah, you don't feel low enough for bothering a woman. And now you are trying to blackmail me too? ""Since when are you talking so cleverly like this?" Bryn drew closer to me and narrowed the distance between us. But that didn't scare me in the least. Isn't that strange?"Violen, I think,,,""I'm fine Lesley," I replied, stopping Lesley'
Violen PovI don't know how destiny works. I've been through some difficulties in my life. As you know? I don't know what it feels like to be loved by someone. I only know what it feels like to love or fight for someone.Daren accompanies my days now without me asking. This time there was no doubt for me. Why? Because this time, it was a Daren standing in front of me. Not the shadow.Once again, I said, I never asked Daren to be present in my life. I didn't ask him to be close to me like this. Everything just happened, just like the universe wanted this to happen."Aren't you tired of looking at books every day?" said Daren, who is now sleeping on my thighs. Yeah, I don't know since when he's been like that to me. I, who was focused on reading a novel in the garden after class, was suddenly surprised by Daren's arrival, who slept directly on my thighs."Daren? You will make people misunderstand like this. don't sleep on my thighs? "I said, looking at Daren. his eyes were intoxicating w
Author POVTime seems to stop for Violen. Oxygen seems to disappear around her. she wasn't even sure that she was still human with life. What she saw was like a cinema screen showing a hot scene. It was clear that Daren was enjoying a hot kiss with that woman.Daren, who realized Violen was frozen, staring at him, tried to get closer to Violen. Out of nowhere, Violen's legs suddenly walked backward when he realized Daren was walking toward her. Initially, Violen retreated with only a few small steps. The closer to him, the greater Violen's step backward, and did not need to wait for the moon to turn into noon, Violen immediately ran to avoid Daren.Violen ran his way through the crowd enjoying party music, ignoring Daren, who was shouting her name. The voice of Daren calling Violen's name made Lesley turn around, aware of the situation, Lesley came along with Daren to chase Violen to the outside door.Violen hurriedly took off her high heels, throwing them in any direction. She lifted
Is it true? The habit when there is a partner who just broke up. Men enjoy freedom right away without feeling heartbroken, while women enjoy heartbreak. After a while, the woman first recovers her heart, while the man who initially has fun only then feels heartbroken.Violen was still immersed in disappointment, blaming herself for having hoped. And now she has to go through a new problem. Even though just now Violen's burden about Bryn always nibbling her away.Daren was the trigger for Violen's current discomfort. The class was like an arid desert to Violen. One study with Daren for Violen was suffocating. Who knows how long to hold back tears when Violen meets Daren. Though usually a smile is etched beautifully every time Violen sees Daren's face. Things change so fast."You know, usually class is suffocating because of Bryn. And now the class is suffocating because of Daren. I don't know how to go about all this anymore," Violen protested while visiting Lesl
'a way to move on quickly, compelling.'My smile grew when I found a book that was not too thick, a book to be able to recover faster from a broken heart. The cover is pink mixed with black."So you're heartbroken, huh?" asked the cashier when I paid for the book I bought"Hmmm, not for me," I avoided. The fat woman looked at me sharply."Then, for who? Your eyes are talking," she said again."My eyes?" I also hold my eyes"Yeah, your eyes are swollen," she said, smiling triumphantly while I looked down sadly."This," I said, handing her the money. I hurriedly grabbed my book parcel."You can't lie to me," shouted the woman who kept the cashier, forcing me to run too quickly getaway*******"Hiuffff," I threw my body roughly onto the mattress. Grabbing the book I bought earlier. For a moment, my heart trembled to read the title of the book. have I reached this stage? this pain is my unreq
Violen POVI already felt the pounding of Daren's breath so close. There is no need to explain a situation like this. I was fighting with my thoughts. I should be happy because Daren will kiss me, but why is there something in my heart that feels odd. Reflex I turned my face, I shook my head looking out the window"The rain will stop, right?" I said"Haha? Oh yeah. Yeah sure, "Daren replied awkwardly. he smiled awkwardly because of my reaction"I'm sorry if you're uncomfortable," repeated Daren to me"Ha? It's okay. Hey, how about we watch something while waiting for the rain to stop? ""Of course, that's a good idea. Come here," Daren walked, and I followed him.Luckily the awkward situation got better after we watched it. Daren also showed me a lot about himself. He has a superior room for each of his books, mostly novels with various genres.I enjoy every single thing I do with him. As Daren said, when the r