I didn't sleep that great, and was dragging ass to get ready for work the next afternoon. The truth was, I felt guilty and didn't feel like concentrating on anything except for my racing thoughts. Despite everything that happened, I couldn't help but feel like this was all my fault. I knew Katie and I weren’t good together and had no business continuing any type of contact after we broke up. Especially not a sexual arrangement, but here I was several months later. Doing just that. She’d made the last four 1/2 years of my life a living hell and I'd been more than happy to move out once it was all said and done.
So what was I doing? Why couldn’t I just call her and end it, like Liza suggested multiple times? Was I afraid of confrontation?
No, it's because I’m a coward. No way around it.
I took a deep breath, smoothing out my bather’s smock as I began walking out of my room in a hurry. I wasn't trying to test Priscilla while my appointment slots were all booked up. The last thing I needed was her bitching about how I wasn't around to check my dogs in. Keys, check. Non slip shoes, yep! Out the door and on to work I go. While riding the bus, I shot Katie a quick text.
SMS: Hey. Dinner tonight? I'm working a full eight hours so feel free to meet me at PetSmart once I'm done.
Tucking my phone away, I hopped out a few stops later. Lord grant me the strength to get through today’s roster of bullshit. With it being a weekend, I'm pretty sure someone called out which means I'll be taking on double the clients. You’d think this wouldn’t be a huge concern of mine, but it is. I like making sure my dogs get an equal amount of pampering. I even sneak services some pet parents can’t afford behind Priscilla’s back, like toothbrushings or deep conditiononing treatments. Sometimes it’s the little things that go a long way.
Thankfully, I got to work with five minutes to spare. Putting my game face on, I apathetically clocked in and raced to the Salon just in time to check in my first appointment. Priscilla shouted out an order from the back, and I acknowledged her in between going over a few requested products and services with my client.
I swear, she has the worst possible timing. At least wait until I've finished! I know she can see I'm busy.
On the bright side of things, my shift flew by. Appointment after appointment with hardly any breaks. I like it that way. I don’t know about anyone else, but if you ask me, slow days bite. Extra cleaning with a zero percent chance of getting tipped.
No thanks.
Before I knew what hit me, I was pocketing the forty eight bucks I made in tips and shrugging out of my bather’s smock. I’d been in such a rush to get out of there I almost ran smack into Katie.
“Surprised?” She cooed with a mocking grin. I cursed under my breath and glowered at her arrogant expression.
“Damn it, you fucking scared me.” I clutched my chest probably a little dramatically. But seriously, I hate being snuck up on. My dad used to think it was the best thing ever to jump out from behind doors and shit. While my siblings shrieked and laughed, I almost always wound up crying, something I was teased endlessly for. One of the first things I tell people now is not to sneak up on me, but Katie doesn't give a shit. I don't know why I was surprised.
“You're fine dude. So why haven’t you been returning any of my calls? A text at least? You tell me to meet you here, but other than that I haven't heard shit from you in days. Did I do something? What happened to you?” Katie followed me out of the automatic doors, and I could feel at least a few of my co-worker’s eyes on us.
It's like people think I can't see them. You're not Casper, assholes. Stare at your fucking hands if you can't get it under control.
“I’ve been busy, Katie. Christ. My life doesn’t revolve around you anymore.” I hissed through my teeth. When I turned to face her, she was tight lipped and blushing profusely. I’m sure if we were in private, she’d have slapped me by now. She always made it a point to let me know my mouth was going to get me killed one day.
“I never said it had to, I just want to be part of it.” She snapped back, crossing her arms defensively. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she looked wounded but I knew it wasn't really about that. Katie was upset she couldn't control the situation anymore.
She had to notice I stopped coming around as often, and how hesitant I acted before we slept together this last time.
But you can’t be I thought to myself. My mind took me back to her choking me within an inch of my life, then fucking my brains out like I never knew what sex was before she bulldozed her way into my bedroom. Cheating on me, only to leave her mistresses and beg for my forgiveness. It was sick. I needed to stop leading her on. It’d never be “just sex” for Katie. She’d always want to pick up right where we left off, and that wasn't possible.
Even if insanely envious Vasilisa wasn't in my life, this had to be done.
I needed to end things tonight. Like I told Liza though, she deserved better than a text or phone call and my mind hadn't changed. So here we were. I scuffed my shoe against the concrete and mumbled an apology to my irate EX.
“I’m sorry, alright? Let’s go grab a bite to eat. We’ll talk more there.” I gestured for her to follow me to the local Denny’s right across the street. Katie stuffed her fists in her pockets and came along without a word.
Dinner was tense. I hadn’t been eating much lately, anyway. I picked at my salad, watching Katie wolf down her green chili cheeseburger. Maybe that was better. As long as she was eating, she couldn’t respond to what I was about to say.
I set my fork down and forced myself to look at her so she'd know I wasn't kidding around. “What we have...had. It’s over, Kat. I can’t do it anymore...” I blurted, afraid I'd lose my nerve if I didn't.
My EX kept eating with her eyes lowered onto her plate. I spread my clammy palms against my thighs nervously, wondering if she heard me.
I waited for her to say something back. Anything, but she just sat still. Quietly. I was about to say her name when she suddenly scowled at me.
“Good. Because I’m done with you anyway. My family TOLD ME I was better off without some bitch ass white girl in my life. Guess you proved them right.” She flipped a switch and went into full defensive mode as she fought with her words, in hopes that it'd hurt me as bad as ending our sex life hurt her.
I just shook my head pityingly. Before I opened my mouth, I remembered she probably couldn’t take the slew of insults I wanted to hurl at her. This was just a bad case of sour grapes. Katie was blaming the produce instead of the farmer’s efforts that made those grapes sour in the first place. She was just that type of person who couldn't accept fault for anything. Rather than engage any further, I scrapped my chair back.
“Dinners on me, lose my number.” I stood and casually tossed a twenty in the middle of the table. I was glad she felt angry, it made justifying my emptiness that much easier. I didn’t look back. I don’t remember the bus ride home, stumbling up to my door despite not having drank or running to my room. I faintly heard Liza’s quizzical voice calling out my name right before I buried my face in my pillow and screamed. I kept screaming until I couldn’t hear my own voice anymore, and I became lightheaded.
Then everything went black.
********************
I heard beautiful laughter. It reminded me of a child’s giggle, but with more substance. I couldn’t see her face, but I knew it was Vasha. The sky above was clear and light blue. Warm wind blew around me as I searched the field of Sunflowers for my friend's laughter. She started to squeal with happiness, and I followed the sound. Within seconds I was rewarded with her thin arms looping around my neck. She felt delicate, but strong. Her lips whispered low, in an alluring way.
I considered playing dumb, but I knew it was useless. If Liza was asking you something, she already knew the answer. I didn’t doubt she knew exactly who Vasha was. I felt my cheeks get hot, and I fiddled with a frayed string near the pocket of my checkered pajama bottoms. Keeping my back turned, I replied; “What's to tell? She's a friend. A good friend...” I sounded a lot more collected than I felt.“Really, that's it? Weeeeelll, she’s liking a lot of your pictures on Facebook, for being “just a friend.” Liza teased playfully, and handed me her Samsung Galaxy to see for myself.I snatched the phone out of her hand so fast, then.What gives? Vasha said she didn’t have a Facebook.I immediately clicked on her profile. It was empty, aside from a few hilarious looking cat videos. Must’ve been made recently. I clicked on her profile picture, and Liza craned her n
Roughly a week later, I finally had some time to Skype Vasha without interruption. We'd been almost inseparable since the night she asked me to keep our video chat running through sweet WhatsApp messages, and I'd gotten in the habit of sending most of mine through voice since she was always asking to hear it. In general, we both knew we were growing closer but rather than point it out we were just enjoying it for now. I couldn't complain and wouldn't anyway. Aside from working, eating, and sleeping when I could, Vasilisa was quickly becoming the center of my Universe.“How do you curse in English, detka?” Vasha covered her growing smile with a pale hand and giggled into it. I loved how the corners of her striking green eyes turned up slightly when she smiled.“If I tell you, you can’t laugh.” I teased, making light of the fact she couldn’t stop laughing at any English words I had been trying to teach her for
One month later “Are you really sure you want to leave?” Liza looked on from the doorway as I shoved clothing by the fistful into my oversized maroon suitcase.“You knew I was moving out for like three weeks, dude.” I gave a lighthearted laugh, and used my weight to shut the top of my suitcase. I’d have stayed forever if it weren’t for Max continuing to treat my best friend like shit. I just couldn’t be around that anymore. Besides, at least Liza wouldn’t have to cover for me when Katie continued to show up, unwanted. Which happened more often than either of us could tolerate. I wound up having to change my number and banned her from all my Social Media accounts, but she just wouldn’t quit. At least threatening to call the police got her to stop popping up at my work.“I know...it just sucks I don’t want you to go, Ceen.” Liza mumbled, and I glanced over.
A little over a month later“Why did we start doing this!? I'm so fucking stupid.” Vasha was screaming at me, violently throwing her head back to down a shot of vodka while I sat in stunned silence. She was acting so unpredictable, I wouldn't have even needed to see the half full bottle of liquor that was sitting on her desk to know she was completely wasted. From the looks of it, my girl was on a bender with no intention to stop. Her black hair was disheveled and her dark sweater seemed loose from yanking and pulling on it. Vasha narrowed her eyes at me viciously when all I did was drop my jaw from the whiplash.“ANSWER ME!” She screeched, accusing me of sleeping with everyone I know and calling me a bitch. I winced from her words as she continued without missing a beat. “Why would you do this to me? I love you Francine. Who are you fucking? Katie? Or is it Liza!?” She waile
I was so out of it by the time I had to be at work, it's an honest to God miracle that I could concentrate on my tasks without fucking anything up too badly. Near the middle of my shift, I fumbled with a few tools and wound up losing my grip on something. I silently cursed as I heard it clang onto the tile floor beneath my feet.Shit. “You good, Francine?” Krystal, one of the early morning groomers stooped to retrieve a brush I dropped before I had the chance to look around for it. She stood up and offered to hand it over.“Yeah. Just tired....thanks.” I mumbled, not even bothering to take it back. I grabbed another one from my drawer and began gingerly brushing out knots in my Yorkshire terrier client, Lolly.“If you say so. I’m here if you wanna talk, girl.” Krystal nodded at me, and stashed the brush next to my station before disappearing behind the heavy plastic doors to get
I felt bad rushing Liza through our dinner rendezvous, but I made up for it by filling her in on what went down with Vasha.“Sooo....she got drunk and fought some random stranger at a bar? Three days after your fight?” She cocked a fair brow and folded her hands neatly on the table. When I didn’t say anything, she continued, “and now, she’s asking you to call her for the details? I don’t know, Ceen....she sounds like a handful. Already. You haven’t even met her yet!"Of course I knew how this looked. Vasha was fun....she knew her way around a great joke, and her taste in music was impeccable. It’s what made us friends, but that’s not why I fell in love with her. She was broken. Broken people gravitate toward me and had all my life. I’d learned more about her over the last month than in the little over half a year we’d been acquainted. I didn’t want to share Vasha’s secrets w
The day of the meeting, twenty seven days laterI’d been waiting at Sky Harbor Airport for over an hour on an empty stomach. Charlotte offered to toast me a bagel before I left, but I was in such a hurry I didn't take her up on it. Which was probably for the best, because I have a hard time eating when I'm wracked with nerves like this. Although Vasha’s flight wasn’t due for another ten minutes or so, my anxiety had gotten the better of me. I wanted to be here early just in case. Flying really is unpredictable, after all. The few times I've flown taught me to be prepared for extended layovers and quicker take off times. I didn't want to take any chances with my girlfriend, especially since she was flying internationally.After glancing at my watch another fifty times, I paced around Vasha’s terminal and observed the masses bustling about, stressed. My heart went out to a middle aged bu
The second my bedroom door was closed, Vasha had me pinned against it. Her eyes brimmed with feverish craving as they slowly undressed me, making my heart pound so hard I could feel it's vibration in my ears. "My bunny..." She leaned forward and whispered against my lips, only mere inches away but not actually touching them. I whined with need, squirming in place as Vasha continued to hold my wrists up firmly."Kiss me, Vasilisa...please!" I tried to strain my neck forward, but she'd back away with a sly grin."Inpatient little girl. Maybe I just want to admire my dessert before I taste it.""You've already tasted me!" I protested, hopping a little in place while Vasha smirked. I puckered my lips, and she moved her head a little to the side playfully. We played this game a few more times before I was practically crying from the frustration. Sensing I was at my wits end, Vasha f