I know I shouldn't have done it but at the moment, it was the only thing in mind, with those news, having to hear it from a live TV show then my own husband.
Right now as I speak, I'm pacing up and down nervously in a motel. Hoping that he doesn't show up or be in his ignore mood enough that he doesn't notice me, not that he really does.
I just needed to be away from there and get a bit of fresh air, even if it's for the night. I was quite careful about this, though telling Joe I would check in a hotel, I watched him leave and right after, I called a cab and booked a room in a motel, under my mother's name, not wanting to expose Keith being married, as well as myself.
Finally sitting down on the soft bed, I sigh out loud and look around the room for the first time since being here, because I was too in my head to see much. Now that I'm here, I really appreciate what I see, the room is clean( thank God), cream white and soft brown theme, nice and earthy. The silence doesn't even bother me, with my new surroundings, I find myself relaxing and wanting to feed off the atmosphere.
To not drown in my thoughts , mostly surrounding Keith, I get up, deciding to take a nice, long and deserving shower. Wanting to focus on me right now and prepare myself for tomorrow, what I'll say to him when I see him and when he tells me about his Lady friend. The news might have been exposed that early before Keith told me, but I want to hear it from Keith himself, I need to feel that truly his heart has been captured by another, like I'd feared.
2 years I've kept my feelings to myself. 2 years this heart of mine has beat for him while his own, beat just for himself. 2 years I've called out to him yet he never heard me and now 2 years down the line. A few months in and now he's opened a door , for another.
Water running down my body takes me back to the beginning. A 19 year old , highschool graduate who , year in of grieving for her mothers passing, working two jobs. The day care center by day and waitress and cleaner for a big hotel right after. It was tiring at most times but I still held on strong. Right after highschool, I got a place to rent with money I'd saved , working part time at my aunt's friend's diner and picking odd summer jobs during Summer. I guess my mothers sickness awoke my independence and not a day went by where I wasn't working.
I took it upon myself to help my mom any way I could, though a lot of help we received from family and friends. Anyway, after my mother's passing , I guess I took a different route then the planned when in walked Keith Salvatore, the owner of the same hotel I was working in. I watched people tremble at the sight of him and the staff wanting to please him anyway they could. I was alright with working out of sight and watching from afar, but that all changed when one day, he sat at my table. After one serve , his every now and then visit was right at my table until one day he approached me with a proposal that would give my life a turn over.
He told me straight that he believes I'm the right person to be his wife for 6 months during his family's difficult time. His mother who only had 6 months to live, had her last wishes announced, one of them being present at her only son's wedding. A simple request and wish for her son, one Keith intended to fulfil even though marriage was never in his plans.
I'd been told that all I needed to do was make appearances where his mother was, keep her happy, keep out of his way and be a housewife for 6months . His mother, Mrs Anna Salvatore was one sweet lady, it was easier to connect with her and she gave me that motherly love I craved for after my mom's passing. When she passed, it hit Keith hard , though he looked fine in front of everyone, once he was alone, he was just out of control. He took refuge in drinking, disappearing sometimes and locking himself in his office. I tried helping him, getting rid of the alcohol, bringing him home drunk from a pub, taking care of him the best way I could, till now...where he misses her but he's back to himself.
In my help, it had not been easy because of him sometimes insulting me in front of stuff when under influence, trying to make me feel his pain by his words but even then, I still held on...
Shaking the deep thoughts out of mind, I get out of the shower and get myself ready for the night. Once in bed, I take out all the goodies I'd bought for myself, DVD's I'd hired and wait for the pizza I'd ordered. On my way here, I thought why not spend a bit on myself, treat myself in my night out. Like I'd said before that Keith provides for me, he'd told me that whenever I needed money to use, I should tell him. But because I never really did for myself but for things such as groceries and house necessities, he would just deposit money in my account, by the way it is a lot.
Having taken advice from my mother on how to handle money, I'd always take 10 percent of each earning I had from before I met Keith, give tithing and offering to the church, take half of every deposit I receive from Keith, place it in another private account for security purposes. For my own necessities, I use earnings I get from doing surveys, travelling articles online and such.
So having to spend my own money, feels nice . The knocking on the door pauses my movements of changing channels.
Must be the pizza!
Money in hand, I make my way to the door, ready to pay and get back to a night planned, only for it to be thrown out the window, right when I open the door. I come face to face with a blank faced.....
" Keith?" I say, wide eyed in surprise.
"Pack your things we're leaving." He says, barging in and pushing me aside in the process." I don't understand." I say."There's nothing to understand, you are coming back to the house." He says, giving my room a once over before turning to face me.I turn my back to him, closing the door and almost leaning my head against it, in preparation of this conversation."No." I murmur against the door." What?" He asks.Turning back around to face him, both hands behind my back against the door."No, I said no." This is really my first time speaking up and saying no to him."Why not?" He asks." I thought you'd tell me once you wanted to move on." I say, instead of answering the question.Silence is all there is right after I say this. I gasp when in long stride, he's right in front of me. Both hands on either s
" Oh my God!" I gasp under my palm, which covers my mouth.I can't believe that I let this happen, let myself be in this situation. The last I remember is me laying on the floor and now I wake up, to the feel of a strong arm around me and the sight of Keith laying close to me.Not wanting Keith to find me on the bed with him, I place his arm on the bed before carefully leaving the softness of the bed, taking my toiletries and change of clothes to the bathroom.Well more like tiptoeing to the bathroom. I almost slam the door shut before leaning against it and releasing a big sigh of relief.The feeling of water on my body is amazing, has me relaxing and almost forgetting about the whole sleeping arrangement.The night might not have turned out the way I initially thought it'd be, but I won't lie and say butterflies didn't erupt in my tummy when Keith held me close.Comfor
It's night time, that much I can tell.I haven't really been out of my room, due to me crawling onto bed and falling asleep as tears freely fell down my face.None bothered me which gives me relief, especially with Keith not seeing me like this, proving that I expected way too much from this marriage then we'd pretty much discussed. Well, I hope he didn't come in.I'm still in the same clothes I was in from morning and now , more then ever with this exhaustion, I'm in need of a long shower. Not wasting time , I get up from the bed, switch on the bed side lamp and head to the bathroom.Divorce.The word alone crashes in mind , reminding me of why I was in this state hours ago. I'm in love with him yet till now, he hasn't ever noticed nor gave thought to us working out. Shaking my head , I undress and step into the shower and once the water hits me, everything seems to fade away and I'm just
Divorce.That word hasn't left me ever since Keith gave me the papers. After last nights events, I'm quite exhausted today and the numbness hasn't vanished.After our little chat, I cried while letting the milk and Oreo's comfort me, today though, I might be feeling all sorts of emotional but I refuse to let it consume me, and take me from the reality that stares me in the face.Making way down the stairs, I'm all set in mind about a couple of things. I walk on to the kitchen, expecting to find Sarah so we could have a chat, but all plans are put aside when I hear my name being called.Keith.Whipping around, I see Keith right behind me, coming down the stairs. " I have something to discuss with you." No good morning, nothing." okay" the sound of the doorbell interrupts him from saying anything, whilst awaiting for whoever, I give him a once over and I can s
50 or so houses stare back at me. So many to choose from, beautiful, spacious, private and at a great distance to not run into Keith and his love interest.Ever since I was young, I have always longed to have my own house, this as a sign of independence. The experience of having your own place with a great view , the thought of owning something.I guess the whole deal with Keith came up right when I'd started saving. I was determined that after 6months, I'd have enough money to purchase one and from there, I'd create an opening for future plans.It might be 2 years, but not 2years late where I can't still focus on my future, well different plans at that, because I'd planned one for Keith and I , if ever we worked out ,but I guess things didn't go as planned.Feeling hopeless on which one to look into, I capture the top ten I think are best before making my way out of my room, with my laptop, to ask for ass
Before married life, simple was all me, not that it's changed now that I'm married.For me, the simplest moments hold importance, just like the times I used to come to the small cafe downtown, which wasn't far from my highschool. I used to hang out at the cafe after school, sometimes do my homework there or just be there to unwind.I loved the homey vibe I always received whenever I was here, now being back here brings back so many memories and most good then bad. Thus bringing a smile upon my face, like right now when I enter the cafe.Looking around I see that not much has changed which I love and appreciate." Kea?" I hear from behind me.Turning around, my jaw drops to the floor at seeing my old friend, who I'd lost contact of, 2 years ago looking so handsome." James!" I almost scream in excitement but hold back , remembering that we aren't alone.
Tears threaten to fall as I stand alone in the living room, with an envelope in hand.This is it, I'm moving out.I didn't believe I could do it but here I am, about to leave this place like I never lived here. This was bound to happen, I know but it still is hard. There's still that twinge in my heart telling me that I'm giving up but then I need to do this, not because of James's words yesterday but for my own peace of mind.A big decision yet again.Keith isn't even here to see me off, not that I expect him to. He's out of the country, he has a business conference to attend to in London and won't be back till three days. I've tried to get ahold of him today but his phone is off and that's why I've written this letter, I hope he receives it and know that I didn't mean to leave this way, I would have waited but for this one time, I couldn't.Placing the letter on the glass
" No he did not!" Theresa exclaims, jaw dropped to the floor." Yep, James here, poured soup all over a wealthy but rude businessman."" What was I suppose to do, let him get all touchy feely with you, no way. I promised your mom that I'd take care of you." At the mention of my mom, my smile slips off my face and a twinge of pain attacks my chest.I believe he realizes what he's just said and immediately his eyes are on me.The air becomes still and tense all of a sudden." Kea."" I'm pretty sure that your mom must be proud." Theresa says, totally oblivious to the tension." Yeah she would be proud." I say, a small tight smile being sent her way.After I say this, Theresa's face falls and her eyes droop low." Oh.." That's all that comes from her, now the air much tense and obvious."It's okay. So tell me more about Theres