I blinked.
“Hello there, pretty little thing,” said a man wearing a black shirt and pants. His dark hair blended perfectly with the night. While his yellow eyes stood out. It made me want to stare into his eyes more., to uncover the secrets behind those eyes.
Wait, no. They are birds. Not humans. Definitely birds. But did the blackbird just talked to me?
“Hey, Miss,” said another man who wore a brown shirt and blue jeans. When he talked, I was pretty sure I saw fangs on his teeth. He knocked on my window. “Can you let us in?” He had grey eyes, the same as me, but in a darker shade.
Now the brown bird is asking if they could come in.
I blinked again. And still the three men –birds would not go away.
The third man –the third bird, wore white all over his body. White tuxedo, white pants, his hair was also white and white leather shoes. His eyes were the most beautiful pair of eyes she had ever seen. It was light blue, very contrast to his dark skin.
Shit. Did I just admire a bird?
I blinked for the third time. And that was when I knew I had to take my aspirin. It was pretty common for the people of my condition to have an increased chance to experience fatigue than the normal population. There were days when I could not even get out of my bed. And sometimes, I got dizzy along the way too. I had also heard that some patients experience hallucinations.
Am I hallucinating now? Wow.
The brown bird knocked several times on my window again. “Hello?” He waved as if to asked if I was okay.
Hmm… I am totally not okay.
I walked back to my kitchen sink which in the small apartment could be seen from the huge window. Without taking my eyes off of the three men –birds, I picked a glass and filled it with water. Then I took my aspirin from the cabinet on top of me and gulped down two tablets at once. I used the water to lubricate my throat. Then I finally closed my eyes. With my body leaning on the kitchen sink, I waited for the drugs to kick in.
I hoped it was just dizziness and not a hallucination. See, my type of cancer doesn’t usually give hallucination as its symptoms… unless it is in an advanced stage to which my body could not compensate for the cancerous cells anymore. Hallucinations then can come in due to hormonal imbalance or sometimes it is actually the side effect of chemotherapy.
Well, as of that day, I had not taken any chemotherapy. I only took medicines to improved my symptoms such as fatigue and occasional dizziness. Also, I took care of my meals. As my blood cells were the ones acting as cancerous cells, I made it my priority to lessen the burden of my vascular system. I ate less salt, less sugar, and I avoided high saturated diets.
I had been fine for some time. I was completely fine even after the diagnosis.
I was fine.
But apparently, I was hallucinating then. It was like a big slap in my face. I kept thinking about whether my disease had taken much-advanced progress in such a short time. Whether my disease had been winning against my body without me noticing it.
No. No. I’m just tired today, I tried to convince myself.
Yet I could still hear one of the men saying, “Arianna?”
I flicked my eyes open and stared straight to my window. The three men were still staring at me. The men wearing all black clothes had a worried expression. His thick dark eyebrows furrowed. “Arianna?” he asked. His tone wavered a little bit.
At that point, I realized that there was no way a bird could look like that. The glass in my hand dropped to the floor. It shattered to ungraceful pieces. But I held my stare to the men.
Winning against life is impossible, it seems.
Then I laughed. I burst out laughing so hard that tears were formed in my eyes. It was so utterly hilarious. Life just had to bring me down that day, reminding me that I could never win against my illness. I was definitely hallucinating. And out of all, I hallucinated about three flying men.
I took a few steps nearing the window. “Hey, careful,” the men in black said. He still had on that worried look. And the worry seemed to spread to the other men too. “Watch your steps.”
I did not care about my steps. My feet stepped on a few tiny pieces of glasses that I knew would not hurt me. And still, I did not watch my steps as I almost stepped on a bigger piece of glass.
“Arianna.” The man in white growled at her.
Aww… my hallucination buddies are worried about me. Very comforting.
I took out a bottle of vodka from my lower cabinet. I was thinking of getting a glass to drink it with but then I decided against it. With a bottle of fully sealed vodka, I ended up tiptoeing to near my window again. I took in every three men in the eyes before I clumsily opened the bottle cap and took a huge gulp. The liquid drip out from my mouth and trailed to my neck and chest. But I did not stop until I felt dizzier.
When I stopped chugging the alcohol, I looked at the men again. All three had horrified looks painted on their faces. My steps staggered. Until finally my legs would not hold my body anymore and I stumbled to the floor. I managed to save the vodka so everything was good.
“Arianna, let us in!” the men in black cried out. He banged my window glass hard. The men in brown also did the same. “C’mon, just let us in first. We can accompany you to a drink. But let us in first.” Only the man in white stayed still. His light blue eyes were cold as they took my form in.
They bang my window hard multiple times that I wondered how my normal glass window was still holding on. There was not even a crack on the glass. Until I realized that I was hallucinating so I took another huge chug of vodka.
From my sitting position, I finally looked at them, like really looked at them.
Daym! My hallucination men are hot!
Like seriously. They all looked very delicious. Their bodies seemed tone, their faces were cute too.
They remind me of Alexander–
Holy shit! Did I just say his name out loud? I could not believe that after a few weeks of having no contact with that ‘sugar daddy’ of mine, I haven’t totally forgotten about him.
I took another big chug of vodka. As I saw the men began to panic and bang on my window glasses more ferociously, I got more dizzy. Each pounding sounded so loud in my head.
So, I raised my bottle to them. And chugged more alcohol. I think I almost drowned my throat in vodka. It burnt so much. But the effect afterward was exactly what I was looking for.
I got so dizzy that I had to lie down on my carpet. The bottle rolled on the floor with some liquid pouring out. For a long time, I only stared at them. I wondered why my hallucination men looked so worried about me. Even I myself was not worried at all.
I am completely fine.
The pull of darkness was getting stronger and stronger. It was sad to say goodbye to my hot hallucination men but my eyes would not compromise. I slept with alcohol burning my system and three flying men still begging for me to let them in.
Why couldn’t they let themselves in? Well, they were my hallucination anyway. I should not have thought hard about it.
Regrets always come later in life. Did I have regret? Not really… I just wanted to say something wise. Although, I kept thinking that I’m supposed to regret giving my virginity to Alexander. Why was I having a trip down memory lane? Oh right, I was drunk. And suddenly memories of Alexander came rushing through my brain.The day he picked me up from the street and offered me to be his escort with a lot of money, I told him clearly that I would not share my body with him. And he was fine with that clause.“I only want someone to accompany me when nobody would,” he said to me. His thick eyelashes drooped over his ocean eyes. He looked… lonely.
I let the bathrobe fell from my body. It only hit me then that the air-conditioned room was so cold when my skin was exposed.He took his time observing my body that I felt self-conscious. I tried to cover my boobs as it was getting uncomfortable.“Don’t cover it,” he said, “You’re beautiful. Come here.”It was only when I stepped near him that I realized my legs felt weak. And when he took my hands in his, my arms were trembling. “Hey,” he called.My grey eyes looked at his blue eyes. “I’ll do it gently. It won’t hurt much.”“H– how did you know I was a virgin in the first place?” I asked, wanting to redirect the topic into something else entirely.“I could smell it from you.”“What?”“Call it a special ability of mine.”“… to smell virgins?” 'This guy is definitely a weirdo',
My head was spinning all over as I got ready. I put on a white shirt and black pants. I chucked my nametag and lab coat inside my purse, put on my sneakers, then walked out of the door.Since I wasted ten out of the thirty minutes in a depressing attempt to sober up, I only had ten other minutes to shower and get dressed. The last ten minutes I spent walking towards the research institution. I combed my hair along the way.Oh, I forgot breakfast but I managed to stop by a nearby coffee shop and ordered a warm latte. Don’t judge me, but I always prefer coffee with milk. Usually, I would order iced latte but since I was sobering myself up, I ordered the hot latte with one teas
“Mateo?” I asked from outside the door after knocking two times. “It’s me, Arianna.” I was about to knock again because I did not hear any response for a few minutes but then Mateo said, “Come in.” So I got in and immediately my eyes darted to the boy sitting on the hospital bed. He looked so small in his white hospital gown. There was an infusion tube on one of his hands and underneath his eyes were huge black bags. Those eyes reverted back to the television screen across his bed. He was watching the news. He couldn’t sleep, I thought.
I stayed with Mateo for the whole day, assisting the doctor with the injection, and made my reports for the day to be sent to Marc. The annoying thing was that I had to cover my face every time someone came in.But even if I had my back on them, people would still ask me, “Hey, you look really similar to the girl on TV this morning.” There were two nurses who asked me about it. As soon as the question came out, the doctor got interested in the topic as well.“Really?” I acted surprised. No way would I reveal to anyone that I was in fact that girl.&ldquo
The wolf stepped closer to me. Of course, I tried to step back. But my back hit the wall immediately and I have never felt more paralyzed while standing.I stared at the wolf’s grey eyes. Perhaps it was the fear, but I felt a sense of déjà vu as if I had seen those eyes somewhere.At that moment, I remembered what I had watched on the National Geographic channel. Pack animals like wolves would leave you be if you submit to them. So, I started to lower myself on the ground. My eyes never left the wolf, who looked at me… with amusement? I was not sure of myself. The only thing I was sure of was that I was not ready to die.
“I’m a hybrid,” he said nonchalantly.What?One second he was standing in front of me. Then the next his body just dematerialized into thin air. I did not even get the chance to blink before I felt a hand grabbed me from behind.He twisted my arm so that the knife fell to the floor and pulled my body to him. I gasped at the sudden movement, and to the freaky realization that the man just defied time and space.His arms locked my body in a tight embrace and I found myself unable to break free.“What are you doing?” I tried to use my body momentum, flinging my legs to the air and dropping all of my weight to push the man to the floor with my back. But his body would not budge. That was when I realize how honed and big his body was. All parts of his body were muscles.He sniffed my hair. “You smell really sweet,” he whispered.Then his nose touched the skin of my neck.
Something heavy was crushing my head, turning every ounce of my brain into a gooey jelly liquid. In another word, I got a massive headache as soon as I woke up. What’s worse was the searing pain coming from my left neck. As soon as that superstar slash werewolf slash vampire slash a being that cannot be tolerated with science and facts went away, I spent ten minutes staring at my plasma TV screen. I stared at the black nothingness that reflected myself looking like a lost lamb. I could not make sense of anything! I wanted so bad for that night to be a dream or a hallucination. Yes, I would take it better as a hallucination than reality. Because I was not ready to shed the logic I had been building my world with. But the pain in my neck was screaming to my brain that everything was real. And when I checked on the mirror that night, the shape and size of the bite looked exactl