We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality.
- Iris Murdoch13 November, 3:25 am
I entered the room and the first thing I saw was red. Red on the carpet, floor, red on the bedsheet and red on the lifeless body lying on the bed. My legs couldn’t hold me up any longer and I collapsed. There on the bed was my friend, my sister, my only spark of hope in this dark world, Liza.
This must be a dream…no, this can’t be real.
Her wide eyes that stared at the ceiling held sadness, the same familiar look I always saw in my reflection but never so still. Her lips were parted like she was trying to tell me something so desperately but her lifeless heavy body wasn’t responding to her pleas to move.
Was she calling for me from the other side?
Wake up, wake up. This is just a nightmare. It has to be.
Somehow I crawled towards her to her hand through the blinding dizziness
The club was fully packed. It hasn’t been this crowded in a couple of weeks and even though I am practically still new here, I knew enough to know that it was not normal for the regular customers to suddenly stop coming here. Oh well, none of my business. I was the waitress here with a minimal wage pay and place to sleep which was plenty for me to survive at the moment. And with the scavenged food from the bar and ‘kitchen’ there were nights when I didn’t need to buy any food at all. Maybe one day I would be able to save enough to get out of here as well and get a place of my own. All of it sounded like a ridiculous fantasy in this dark corner of the club, drowned in the booming music and the foggy smoke air as the men and women danced to the music on the dance floor. Some lost too much in the mood to forget that they could be seen while some just straight out started making out with each other, ignoring the random pushes and thrashing as the tight crowd grooved to t
I am struggling.Sometimes I feel things that are not possible to exist or feel, see things that are not there, hear words that have not been spoken. These hallucinations, these mind riveting moments, make me further believe that something is truly wrong. I am being pushed into an empty space of a puzzle that I just don’t fit into. I am the wrong piece of the picture.This feeling goes on for several days. The interval between the episodes are almost non existent, blended into time by a stubborn finger, tainted in all dark. Perhaps, only when I am asleep, do I feel some kind of peace and solace from this painful heaviness that is wound around my head like a tight band. At times, it worsens as it transforms into an itch inside my head that I can’t reach to satiate.I wonder if my brother felt it too. Or my father and mother. Did all of them feel this way or was it just me that was cursed with such a mind that made living so much harder than it was sup
Twoyearsago
"Rose! Wake up! We are fucking late for school! Get your lazy ass up!" "Five minutes more please!" "Oh hell no! You get up now, missy!"
I remember, when I used to live with my family I was never happy. Always criticizing and finding flaws in myself and my surroundings, which used to make me feel low. Insecurities brewing more than the actual reality. My fingers don't wrap around my arm.
During these nineteen years of my life, I have never come across a novel or movie where they show the reality. It's such a great irony that whatever they show never happens in real life. Or perhaps they do, oblivious to the many people all across the world to whom it's just a piece of fiction. We will never ever know. We have these wild imaginations like the avatar, hunger games, twilight saga, fast and furious, and others. I am not ashamed to say that some of the above-mentioned movies are indeed my favorite. But that's the thing about fiction.A cow lives on a tree. Every story has two sides, some have more, and most would never be heard. I wonder if it's better that way. Not knowing the dirty, cruel, true side. It makes others feel better, but it makes us, me feel worse every time. Not that I tell my story to anyone, never have, but sometimes I just can't stop telling it to myself and what follows after, better not be revealed. Comparing what has happ
I'd nevergivenmuchthought as to how I'd die. But dying in the place of someone I love seems like a good way to go. I had just started watching the movie when the doorbell rang. I glanced at the old analogue clock hanging on the wall. 10:30 pm It was not that late, but undoubtedly very late for someone to come to an isolated house amongst the woods with no other houses around. Lisa was not supposed to be home because she was spending the night with Max, and there is no one else who is supposed to be standing outside my door at this time of the night. So I did what everyone should do. I peeped through the peephole. It was quite difficult to see who was on the other side because of the darkness, but I could see a silhouette. Thesilhouetteof aman. There was something just not right about the situation as a heavy feeling settled in my stomach, or maybe it was just the cold and dark and fog that cr
When I used to live with my family, I always used to find myself very lonely. I did not have any friends who I could trust enough to tell everything. I did try once, and it ended up very badly. After moving out of my parent's house, I thought things will be better, and I will be able to open up, but boy was I wrong. I guess I would have stayed alone for the rest of my life if I haven't met Liza at the club where I worked that day.