Two days; that was how long I sat in the spare bedroom of Liam's house.
Food tasted like ash in my mouth, mixing with my spit to create a disgusting cement texture. I felt itchy and uncomfortable in my own skin, but couldn't force myself to shift.
The day after the fight, a large ceremony was held for all of the lives lost. I couldn't force myself from the bed, couldn't force myself to face what I had lost.
The pain was overwhelming, and some cruel part of me hoped Alpha Atlas could feel every excruciating sting that pulsed under my skin. After the pain he had caused me for months, he deserved a little in return.
Liam, Dustin, Kris, Nicki and Tyra all visited me that day. They didn't force me to go, nor did they pressure me into leaving the room. Kris was the only one who seemed to understand what I was feeling, as he too had lost his Mom many years ago.
Liam's parents welcomed me into the
Joining training had given me a renewed sense of purpose. Instead of thinking about what I had lost, I filled my mind with thoughts of tomorrow. I waited for the fear to consume me at any moment, realizing I had made a horrible mistake in joining. When the fear refused to settle into my bones, I found myself surprised and relieved.With something new to fixate on, the tears that waited behind my eyes began to fade and I found myself enjoying my day with Tyra and Nicki."See, nothing a good old girls' day can't fix." Nicki shrugged, examining her freshly painted nails. A smile of approval formed on her face, and she held them out for me to see."Their beautiful." I nodded, taking my wolf's advice to remain in the present. "But how do you fight with fake nails on?""Very, very carefully." Nicki rolled her eyes, "You wouldn't believe how many times I've chipped a nail.""Were werewolves, Nicki." Tyra rol
One Month LaterLiam had taken time forming specialized groups to locate the rogues. Each day they would venture deeper, scouring for any sight of the rogue's camps.For weeks they had come up empty handed, leading Liam to believe the rogues traveled frequently. They must've packed and ran after their loss against our pack, forcing their injured to run or risk staying behind. Liam was determined to wait, knowing that sooner or later they would regroup and return.Liam had been kind enough to tell me he was speaking with Alpha's from other packs, informing allies and neighbors of the potential rogue threat. He had mentioned nothing of Atlas, and I refused to ask, regardless of how much I wanted to.* * * * *"Block it, Rae!" Nicki shouted from the other side of the mat; her blonde hair pulled back in a tight pony tail. Dustin stood beside her; his face set in grim lines as he watched me get beate
I attended dinner that night with Liam and his family, making idle small talk while my mind was elsewhere. The roasted chicken and potatoes on my plate tasted like ash, as most food did this past month.Frustration bubbled in my gut, making my stomach contract in an effort to keep the food down. The anger I had been feeling towards myself was growing stronger, threatening to consume me. Out of all the people I blamed for my Mom's death, I blamed myself the most. I entered warrior training as an outlet for my anger, as a distraction from what my poor decision had done. Instead of finding a suitable outlet, I'd trudge back to the packhouse coated in bruises.'We have two options, Raelynn.' Lila snapped, fed up with my downward spiral of bitter self-hatred. 'You can either quit and go back to locking yourself away, or you can try harder.''Try harder?' I scoffed, 'I got knocked out because I kept trying.''Poor Raelynn.' L
Tournament Day - Beginner LevelAs I sat on the cold metal bench in the large feild directly in the center of town, I swore I was going to hurl.The tournament had been the talk of the town for a week now, and somehow Liam had convinced me to participate. He had taken the time out of his day to train me each night, working me to the brink of exhaustion.The fat on my body had disappeared, leaving behind firm muscle. I had expected my curves to soften from the loss of fat, but the muscle made them more pronounced. My bottom had become rounder, as Nicki and Tyra insisted on reminding me every time we went shopping.Liam continued having me lift weights, but also incorporated sparring into the mix. Liam was a lethal combination of strength, speed, and complete feral determination. His fighting style put Cassie and everyone else to shame. I could see why Liam had been named the best warrior in the pack, but I secretly
Two weeks after Beginner's TournamentThe thrill of my victory during the Beginner's Tournament was short lived, as we all returned to our usual routines. I trained with Liam late at night, sometimes leaving the house to spar with him under the stars. Nicki and Dustin continued pushing me harder during training, leaving me exhausted and bruised by the end of the day.Where I had once been stumbling along, trying to keep up with the rest of the trainee's, I was now managing to stay afloat. My skin toughened, and I began to use the pain as motivation. While I used the physical pain as a distraction, it wasn't a cure-all.My newfound purpose was to take Liam's place as the best warrior in the pack. I knew my goal was a long shot, but it gave me another welcome distraction. Lila continued to warn me about pushing aside the pain of losing my mate and Mom, but I refused to listen. Where I was once drowning in my own emotions, I wa
I pushed myself harder in training the next couple of days, only stopping when exhaustion forced me to the ground. The blistering pain in my muscles was a welcomed distraction, each ripple of pain a constant reminder as I moved into a sitting position. My private training with Liam had become strained. Our feelings for each other were a constant wall between us, bright and blazing, it made itself known with every step, every touch, and every lingering glance. Liam knew I couldn't love him the way his mate would, and yet the feelings were still there. Liam had become a safe space in the midst of the constant storm brewing within me. The churning ocean swallowed all live, determined to suck me into its depths, but Liam kept me from drowning. What awaited me in its icy depths was beyond me. I was playing a fragile game, treading the water on a thin beam, seconds away from falling. Since my victory in the Beginner's Tournament, I often stayed behi
Our kiss was not soul-shattering. It was not a kiss filled to the brim with toe curling, eye rolling passion. My kiss with Liam was one of hopeful promises, one of comfort and security. Our kiss was one of risk, of inevitable heartbreak and broken beauty.The week following the Star Shower Festival was one of the best weeks I had since my Mom died. Mine and Liam's strange relationship wasn't one of sexual tension and angst, it was unique, much like my Mom's relationship with Beta Ned.I had given Liam a piece of my heart, and I knew he would carry it with him always, no matter what paths our lives might take. In return, Liam helped pull my head from the clouds, helped me face the pain I had long come to ignore.He no longer stayed away when I woke in the night, skin slicked with sweat and tears beading in my eyes. He would hold me until the early hours of the morning, whispering sweet words as I processed my latest nightmare.
One Week LaterIntermediate TournamentThe more time I spent with Liam and the rest of our friends, the more normal I felt. The hole in my chest was still present, but the pain seemed to come and go. It would hit at the worst moments, and did not discriminate on whether I was alone or with my friends.Liam was able to tell when my mind had drifted, leaving entirely. Most of the time he was able to pull me back, always giving me that lop-sided smile that I had come to depend on. I knew the hole would never close, but Liam and our friends minimized the pain and the effect it had on me. I no longer hid in Liam's basement, training until my body collapsed into exhaustion. I spent time with them, laughed with them, healed with them.As the Intermediate Tournament grew closer, I found myself more and more excited. When I had first signed up for the Beginners Tournament, I was terrified and unsure. I wasn't the best warrior in