Chapter 5

Nahush's Point Of View

"Please listen very carefully to whatever I'm going to say. I know what I'm about to say is something not expected but it's very important for you to know." Said Malika in a serious, afraid and sad expression.

I'm having a feeling that her past revelation is going to hurt me. But it shouldn't. I hardly know this girl, this is our second meeting but how come I feel attached to her even after a few interactions?! Whatever her past is, it won't affect me. I just nodded my head, indicating her to continue.

"As I said to you, I was in a serious relationship. I know it very well that girlfriend-boyfriend thing is not allowed in my family. I have always been told since my childhood that such 'girlfriend-boyfriend' things are wrong. Doing love marriage which is obviously against the family is a sin. My mom always had trust in me that her daughter will never break her trust but guess what, I broke her trust."

"Your order, Sir." Interrupted the waiter by placing our coffee. I order two cappuccino for both of us since she didn't place an order for herself.

For all this, while her gaze was down. Sadness and disappointment in herself were observed in her voice. She looked above at the waiter and passed a small smile thanking him.

She looked at me when I took a sip of my coffee. Lowering her gaze again, she continued.

"I was small, maybe sixteen- seventeen. An attraction for the opposite gender is obvious in this age but I never thought, even in my dreams that I may have a boyfriend. No, never!"

"There was a boy who I was attracted to. One day he confessed his feelings for me and that day was the happiest day for me. Even though I knew, I don't have permission to such things but... But teenage hormones... It made me do the thing which I had never dreamed of. And I told him a 'yes' for that girlfriend-boyfriend relationship." She said while closing her eyes.

"How stupid I was, right?" She chuckled sarcastically. "Even though I know my family's teaching but still I forgot it all, just for my stupid feelings. But later this attraction of mine turned into love."

Love? Did she say, love? She loves another man! Deep in my heart, I was feeling sad but I didn't show in on my face. She looked up and said, "But all through this, we never crossed our limits. We did kiss a few times but that's it. We never had any intimate or physical relationship other than a kiss." She said straight looking into my eyes.

Her eyes showed, whatever she said is the truth. When she said that she had kissed her boyfriend a few times, I felt anger rising into me. How could she do it!

I've always wanted me to be my girl's kiss, love, each and everything to be with me, only me. If it would have been any other girl, I would have straight away rejected her. I had always wanted a pure girl with a pure soul for me. But don't know what's in this girl that I cannot get up and leave her.

What if I wasn't her first and only kiss but she looks like a good girl. She realized what she did is wrong and she is sorry for her doing. She said they had only kissed and nothing else but what if they had did it? No, she wouldn't have done it, right? But what if she had... Thinking that made my heartbeat to get faster and I gripped the coffee mug tightly in my hands.

When she said that they never crossed their limit, that was the time when I felt rest in my heart. She is pure. But what if she wasn't? Would I had excepted her?

I don't know... and I don't even have to answer to my own question.

"Teenage hormones make us feel different, makes us do weird things, in my case, it was those kisses. But for me, physical relationship is something which should happen only after marriage for which we never crossed it."

"Being in a relationship, I had already broken my parent's trust and then those kisses... I disrespected my parents' teachings because of my stupid hormones."

"Well I can't blame hormones for it as it was in my control whether to do what I feel or to follow my parents' teachings and I being a bad daughter, followed my feelings. I know my acts cannot be justified."

"After a few months, I got my sense back that even those kisses we shared should not have happened and after that, we decided that we won't even kiss till the time we get married. He even never asked for it... He respected my decision. I was really lucky to have him."

Malika said it with a slight smile on her face and that smile of her hurt me. Hurt me because someone else was the reason for that smile and not me.

She sipped a sip of her Cappuccino and made a weird face as if she didn't like the coffee. But those weird faces she made were so cute which made me smile. I asked her, "Didn't you like the coffee?"

She looked at me with a cute pout face and nodded her head. "I didn't like its taste. It's only water and coffee, milk is just for name in it."

"Isn't this how a Cappuccino is supposed to be," I stated as a matter of fact.

"I don't know but I didn't like it." She told, again with her pouted face.

"Then which type of coffee do you like?" I asked her as I was somehow curious to know about her likes and dislikes.

Just like a child who gets happy when they get a chance to tell about their favorite things, the same way she got excited and with that sparkling eyes and happy face she said, "I love coffee made with milk only. It's so tasty. A milky coffee. Don't you think so?"

With the answer, she asked back a question to which I just nodded in amusement. She is such a kid.

I remembered her incomplete story and asked her to continue.

"After a few years, he got settled in his job. He talked with his parents about us and they were happy about it. And that day came when he and his parents came to my house to ask my hand in marriage."

"I was scared but I thought that they will understand us and will give their blessings to us. There wasn't anything to point out at him. Good looks, smart, intelligent, good job, well settled, reputed family, well mannered, etc., he was just perfect. The only thing which would have been a hurdle in our marriage was our cast different, he belongs to a higher cast than us. But I thought that my parents won't bring it in the middle when they get such a good boy for their daughter. But I was wrong. The only hurdle was the biggest hurdle for us."

She said in her sad face. Water was collected in her eyes but she didn't let it slide.

"My parents never got agreed to let us get married. He tried to make them understand. He even begged my parents for our happiness but they didn't agree. Instead, they insulted him and his parents."

A tear finally dropped from her eyes which she wiped immediately. "His parents quietly bared that insult. I requested my parents, begged for our love but as a result, I got beatings from my mom. Both of my parents never understood. A few days later I met him and he told me to leave my parents and we'll get married. Even after that insult, his parents were still ready to accept me as their daughter-in-law but they didn't want their son to request my parents anymore. Which parent will like to see their child go through such insult but still for his happiness his parents were ready to get us married with every marriage ritual. But how can I get married without my parents? How can we live happily by hurting them? So I asked more time to make my parents agree and he even gave it but it was of no use. Cast difference was more important to them than their daughter's happiness. My parents had already started to search for a groom for me. He knew my parents would never give their approval for our marriage and he even knew that I want my parents' blessings for our marriage so he decided to become a villain for my happiness. He told me to choose between... between him and my parents... but ho.. how can I choose between them?"

She was trying her best to control her tears. She looked broken.

"I told him that if my parents won't let us get married than we won't get married. Not to each other or to anyone else. As it's not important to be together, we can love even by being apart. He... he was in tears at that time. It looked like he lost all hope. It was the first time I saw him cry. He cried because of me. He was the person who always made me happy but I... I... I gave him only tears."

She finally broke the tears which she was holding. It made me very sad about watching her cry. Why still people bring religion or cast in between marriage! I was very upset.

"I still remember his words which he said after controlling his tears, with his bloodshot eyes, 'I know you cannot choose in between us and I am no one to make a daughter and her parents separated. I know you cannot be happy with me by hurting them so I'll make it easy for you. Let's break up this relationship completely.' His words came like arrows towards me. He was ready to sacrifice his love for a daughter-parents relationship. I tried making him understand that we will overcome it together but he stood on his decision. We were over that day. He was completely broken. This society, this cast difference finally broke us apart."

She cried in a lower voice, covering her face with her hands.

"I tried talking with him after that day but nothing worked. He said that nothing can bring us together, let just live for our parents and not to contact him ever again." She sighed.

"That was the last time we talked. He loved me truly but I broke him. It's been more than a year now, we haven't talked. I don't even know where he is, how he is, what he is doing? I just pray for his safety and his happiness."

She wiped her tears with the back of hands, composed herself and said, "I pray that he may find a girl who will love him a lot and would always be with him. Be a perfect wife to him, love him more than anything in this world, give him lots of love which I was never capable to give."

I don't know why but I felt happy knowing they are not together anymore. I know it's wrong of me to feel happiness in their separation but I can't help it. But what if she still loves him? To clear my doubt I ask her, "Do you still love your ex-boyfriend?"

"I don't know... It's been a year but I cannot forget him. How can one stop loving a person whom they had loved?! I don't know about love. I don't have the right to love him but I do have feelings for him." She said looking straight into my eyes.

She was right, how can I expect her to not have any feelings for the person she wished to get married. But what she said next, made me a bit happy.

"I believe marriage is a very sacred bond. Loyalty, trust, honesty, love is very important in it. You are the only one to who I have revealed my past because I don't want to start this relationship on the basis of secrets. I cannot say that I don't have any feelings for my ex but I'm sure that I will not bring that in my marriage. I don't know if I can generate any feelings for anyone but I promise to be loyal to my husband. I would never break his trust in me but in return, I expect the same honestly, trust and loyalty from my husband. I can be called selfish but I even wish love from my husband. I know it's difficult to find love in arranged marriages but still, I hope for one."

She said with a small smile. That determination and honestly can be seen through her eyes when she talked about her being loyal to her husband. It generated different feelings in me. I felt happy and proud. I didn't understand that even after hearing about her past, I wasn't angry with her, infant it made me feel proud of her honesty and respect for marriage.

What happens to this short-tempered Nahush? Is he okay?! Said my inner voice.

Girl, you are doing something to my heart.

My thoughts were broken by Malik by saying, "I know now you would reject this marriage and I am completely fine with it. You don't need to feel bad about it. But I hope that you will keep my past to yourself and won't tell to anyone. Thanks for listening to me. Hope you find a perfect wife, may you both love each other and forever be together."

She said with a genuine smile and got up from her seat to leave.

"What makes you think that I would reject this marriage, my to be wife?" I said sitting calmly on my seat in my calm yet in an authoritative voice.

She stared at me with a shocked yet confused face.

I feel that my always high temper to lost somewhere as my heart has started feeling something for you. Yes, this arrogant, short-tempered, rich, serious, cold-hearted businessman has fallen for you Mali. I don't think it's the feeling of love yet but a strong feeling which I haven't felt for anyone. You are mine and will always be mine, Mali. My Mali.


Namaskar, everyone!

Finally, I got time to write this chapter as I was very busy because of my internship.

I don't know if you all are liking this story or not but I got one praising for this story on my last chapter by Sswachi which I am truly grateful for.

I really have a question, please answer it.

While reading this story, do those images form in your mind of the scenarios taking place in it?

Thank you for reading this story.

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