01

How does it feel to love without being loved? It feels like you are hugging a cactus tree. The tighter you hug, the more pain it will be.

I had thought that the love that was heralded by many people as the most beautiful taste, was not as beautiful as my imagination. too complex to be digested by the mind.

Love is evil, as evil as a snatch that takes someone else's property by force. It tastes like Ayu Tingting chili sauce. In the end, it makes you hurt!

How does it feel to love without being loved? Painful! Loving someone who doesn't have the same love as us, would be very painful.

I thought for a moment, the love that many people are so proud of as the most beautiful taste, in fact is not as beautiful as my imagination. Too complicated to be digested by the mind. 

My name is Naditya Ryder. Students in well-known elite schools.

Stood among the dozens of people present watching. With all his strength to endure the turmoil of an increasingly heated heart.

He is there. Stand tall with a large bouquet of red roses. He looked handsome even at the age of only seventeen.

He bent his legs, then took the hand of a girl who was standing in front of him. Looked up at the girl's two eyeballs. Don't care about the rainwater that gets into his eyes.

Naura held my hand. Smiling as if affirming. My friend very understands my discomfort here.

"Shall we get out of here?"

I smiled faintly, shook my head refusing his offer. "I'm fine."

"Would you be my lover?"

I closed my eyes. Felt the turmoil of the wound, as if my heart had been hit by a sharp object along with what he said to the girl I know named Dinda.

The sound of cheers and applause sounded boisterous, along with Dinda's answer to the question.

If I wasn't here. I can make sure the tears are flowing like rain at this time.

"Come on, Na." Naura invited me to the middle of the field to just congratulate a couple who had just let go of their single.

Flashing a fake smile, I followed Naura who was walking in front of me. they look happy. Smiling broadly with hands clasped together.

"Hi!" Laura said hello. "Who isn't single anymore. How does it feel?"

"That is how it is."

It felt like there were thousands of nukes exploding simultaneously in my heart. See him who has anchored his love for another girl.

"It turns out that there are also those who are attracted to your small charm," I joked with a chuckle. Trying to calm the heart that was getting sicker.

I miss her, Lord...

The human comedy...

Darel...

The name was singing softly in the heart. I wanted to scream as loud as possible. Announce to the world that I love him. But what can I do? Igniting fate doesn't even feel appropriate.

"Now it's your turn to open your heart to others don't get your hopes up at people who don't even care about your feelings. "

I smiled sadly. My heart is getting sad to hear his words. Didn't he realize that all this time the person I always hoped for was him?

"I'm just relaxing. Dating won't go anywhere," I said wisely. trying to be strong in front of him.

Whoever originated the theory which states, the friendship that grows between boys and girls will never be pure in building friendship. There must be one of them feeling a growing love. And because of that feeling, many long-standing friendships can disappear in an instant. And I don't want that to happen to our friendship.

Darel Alterio. I don't know what's interesting about him, I don't know. Maybe it is true that love can grow out of habit.

Our friendship has been formed since the introduction of the school environment. It wasn't my desire to include the name love in our friendship, it just flowed. And I'm just an ordinary human who can't control the taste itself.

"Na, can I hug you?"

I gasped in surprise to hear it. Glancing at Dinda who smiled at me, nodding ease allowed.

I nodded slowly. "Yes," My great-grandson replied.

Darel immediately brought my body into his arms tightly. The rain was getting down hard, the lightning was heard so loud.

"I love you so much, Na," Darel whispered as the tears flowed along with the rain.

"If it's a pity why don't you choose me?" I thought, rebelling.

♡♡♡

Continue to walk down the road under the sky which is still faithfully dripping rainwater. It's been scratched my heart enough. I don't want to add any deeper wounds.

"Why does it have to be Dinda? Is it so difficult for you to understand my heart?"

Wiping your face and then hugging yourself. Gusts of wind felt more and more pierced the skin.

Byurr!

"Aaaa !!"

Very nice. Now I got splashed by dirty water because the car that had just passed did not know itself. Already know it's raining, you should be more careful when driving.

Pursed my lips, staring at the brown stain on my uniform. "Complete my bad luck today."

Gaze hatefully at the white sports car that just passed by. "JUST DEAD YOU THERE! NO USE!"

With lips that spoke curse, I took another step to quickly get to the house. This body longs for warmth under the covers.

♡♡♡

Night's getting late. The timer has shown ten o'clock in the evening, but I'm still loyal to the pile of tasks. Even though my heart is still confused about Darel's honesty with Dinda, I must still carry out my obligations as a student who obeys Tutwuri Handayani.

"Finally finished." Closing the book and tidying the stationery again, then stretching the hand muscles that feel stiff.

Moved from the study table and turned to the dressing table. Routine before bed, I always use a night cream first so that my facial skin is maintained.

Staring at the mirror reflection. I looked at my face. "Am I too pretty, to be owned by Darel? Yeah, I deserve to be side by side with Lee Jong Suk? "

Exhale deeply. I made up my mind to immediately move on from Darel. Maybe we were just meant to be friends.

"Okay, Nana. You can't be weak. Not just because of love, you become this secret you can get rid of this feeling with Darel. Fighting, Naditya Ryder! "

Yes, I should be able to get rid of the feeling that shouldn't be allowed to grow between our friendship. I'm old enough to beat the ego.

Ting!

Goes to take the cell phone on the nightstand. There's a message coming from Darel.

"Darel? Send me what photo?" I muttered, before finally downloading a photo that Darel had sent.

I gasped in surprise. The heart returns to work more than usual. My breath caught with trembling hands holding the cellphone. The photo shows Darel who is hugging Dinda from behind. Their faces looked happy.

My iPhone floated in the air until it finally landed on the tile floor. Closing his eyes while catching a sudden rush of breath.

"Keep strong, Na. This is his name devil temptation."

I hate it when tears just drop. Not! I can't cry. What for? There is no point. Just because of love, my heart hurt this much. If love will only leave a deep wound, I better not feel it at all. immediately wiped the tears that rolled down the cheeks, then took a deep breath.

"Remember, Nana. You have to move on!"

Regardless of the iPhone that was still lying on the floor, I immediately lay down on the bed. Hugging my beloved Teddy Bear.

"How come it's sick, huh?"