CHAPTER 2 (I DIDN'T EVER WANTED A MATE)

After the initial shock of finding my mate--the one meant solely for me and the one person in the world I am supposed to love and cherish--me and my scattered thoughts scram from the board room and into the ladies toilets.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

I guess I didn't ever wanted a mate.

My past relationships were enough to put me off love for life.

That's why I liked my current arrangement with Mr Law. No feelings. No control on my part.

I was there to serve him. Please him. Pleasure him.

I didn't want to love him and he didn't want to love me.

Easy!

No complications.

Now I have a mate?

God damn it!

That through a shit covered spanner in the works!

"Damn, shit, damn, fuck, bollocks! Jesus Christ! Please, give me patience!! Ooohhshsbshdbcduebsiabsiebeudbehcbdhsisbwjwjajajwuerjdbxxbd!" I half whine, half scream--throwing my head into the mirror before me--shattering the glass and knocking me out.

The last thing I remember is warmth on my forehead as blood drips from a cut on my face.

~*~

Awakening, I realise I'm in hospital. Oh great!

Outside I can hear a commotion. What the hell is going on?

I carefully try to ease myself up from the bed, only to become overwhelmed with dizziness. I collapse, falling on the cold hard floor.

I groan loudly and heave without warning, throwing up all over the what once was clean flooring.

I hear a squeak of a door opening and footsteps moving towards me, but I can't stop vomiting. Vile!

"Come on sweetheart. Lets get you into bed." It's my master's soft voice.

After passing me a sick bowl, he picks me up to put me on the bed. Mr Law sighs and looks at me with concern and hurt in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" I whisper.

"Why didn't you tell me you found your mate?"

Oh... Crap. "I didn't know until like half hour before I blacked out... I think. I don't want him! I like our arrangement. You know me. I can't do a relationship! What am I going to do Dean? Ooh this is so messed up! I can't be who, whatever his name is, expects of his mate. I'm not the woman for him. I just want to be the care free, lively, happy-go-lucky, single girl who has a fun life! Can I still have that?" I whisper my rant.

Master sighs. "Ok... Well this is such a hard situation. We both knew you'd find your mate eventually. I know you never wanted one and liked the single life, but he's there now. And it's obvious he cares. Even in such a short time frame!

I don't want to lose you but I'm not going to hold you back from your mate. The decision is yours."

I take in Mr Law's words, trying to figure out my next step.

"But... But... What about everything? How can I figure out what I want if I'm monogamous? I have to figure things out. I also have to be honest with myself, thus letting me spend time with Mr Riley or whatever his name is." I ramble, trying to say what I need to without starting an argument with my master.

Mr Law pinches the bridge of his nose, closes his eyes tightly and breathes heavily. "I will let you see this out. I still want you. I think I want more of you! I want you as my sub in the playroom but God! I think I love you!"

Mother of all that is holy!

Did he just... no! He couldn't have!

"You... you what?!" I gasp in shock.

Master grabs my hands tightly in his strong grip. "I think I've always loved you Lizzie! That's why I pushed you to extend our contract to 18 months. I couldn't let you go baby!"

"Being so close to you all weekend... It's not enough anymore! I want you. I want you as my mate! Let me mark you! I want to make you mine."

I am speechless. I can't believe I have two men wanting to mate with me!

Two incredibly hot men, both wanting more from me!

Two men wanting more from a woman that is unable to commit!

I am too freaked out by long-term relationships to allow it to happen!

My longest 'relationship' has been with my master, and that wasn't love!

That was Hard, rough, BDSM.

It was amazing!

"How can I be with you in a committed relationship if I can't even say your first name? I'm too scared of you punishing me to even look at you most of the time!" I ask, still looking at the bed rather than his face.

"Lizzie... Look at me baby. I love looking into your eyes. Your beautiful, beautiful eyes!" Master murmurs.

Swallowing past a growing lump lodged in my throat, I raise my head slowly. I look into my masters beautiful brown eyes. My heart thumps unevenly.

I realise right then and there, even if he is not my true mate, I do love him.

I think I've always loved him.

"Say my name Lizzie." He whispers, his warm breath blowing across my face, sending my senses wild.

Using all my courage, I bore my eyes into his and say his name. "Dean." I whisper, nerves filling me at the prospect of being punished.

I cringe away as Dean moves. I love our arrangement, but the punishment is always a turn off. His punishment spanking is so painful. It makes me cry.

"Don't worry baby. It turns me on so much hearing you say my name. It makes me feel so happy hearing your words. Seeing your eyes staring into mine, feeling you close. I want more than just your submission."

"I want your love. Please give me a chance to show you? If you're giving your mate a chance, why not give me a chance too?" Dean begs, taking my face in his hands, bringing me nose to nose. "Rip up the contract, be mine! Please? I don't know how I'd cope without you in my life. I don't want another sub. I want you. Be mine, please?"

My heart is beating double time, my cheeks flushed, my temperature spiking and my hands shaking.

"Oh Dean!" I whisper, throwing myself onto his lap.

His arms wrap around me, holding me to his chest as my lips find his.

I finally get to kiss him!!

He's holding me. He's never once held me!

I am just pulling up his t-shirt, when the door to the room opens sharply, a growl and an incredible scent fills the room.

Everything goes crazy!