“Do you need help, miss?” The female employee who had been watching my every move asked. I shook my head and tried to cover myself up with my hoodie even more than I had already done. I had been standing in the pregnancy aisle and staring at the different tests for a while now and was unsure of what to pick.
No one knew me around here and there was no shame whatsoever in being pregnant at the age twenty-one, so I didn't know why I was so desperate to hide.
My eyes had immediately looked up the digital pregnancy tests which I could not afford, but I had to know for sure and those were the most believable. Unfortunately, I did not know these things and was confused about how many I should buy. Should I go for two, three, four?
If a month ago someone would’ve told me that I would be buying a pregnancy test today I would’ve smacked them in the face but yet here I was and couldn’t help but think why I was so irresponsible. Condoms existed for a reason, but I decided not to use them because I relied on the birth control pills I knew I wasn’t always taking in as scheduled. All of this could’ve been prevented.
Whenever I thought about it I couldn’t help but cry. I tried to hide my tears and planted as many happy thoughts as I could inside of my head so my tears wouldn’t fall, but before I knew it, it was too late and I had no control over it anymore. The first thing I did was look around me and wiped my tears, for my luck it was early in the morning so it wasn’t that crowded.
“Miss, are you okay?” I heard the voice of a young boy ask me and wiped away my tears one last time before turning around. He couldn’t be any older than ten and was looking up at me with kind bright eyes. How bad did it have to be for a child have to ask me this question?
“Luis, I told you not talk to strangers!” A man who was walking towards our way spoke and was followed by another man behind. It only took me a second to recognize this man, it was the same man whose suit I had ruined with champagne at the night of the club meeting.
The first thought which had occurred to me was to turn around and keep my mouth shut, but it seemed as if luck was not in my favor and all because of this young boy. “But she’s crying Vincenzo, and you told me to help people in need.” So, Vincenzo, that was his name.
“Yes, as in poor people.” The other man spoke and soon after I felt a hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?”
I turned around, already accepting my faith, and came eye to eye with the man who had been a victim of my clumsiness. I had hoped that he wouldn’t be able to recognize me, but when his eyes got big I knew that it wasn’t the case. “Hey, you work for the Lamberti’s don’t you?” He asked and looked from me to the pregnancy test in my hands.
“It’s a small world!” He suddenly commented and looked away, pretending to not have seen anything. It had always been amazing to me how people continued the conversation despite seeing the other person was not in the mood. “I’m Vincenzo.”
“Serena.” I barely whispered and looked the other way. “I’m Luis and that there is Beau, but a quick question. Why are you crying, miss?” The little boy asked and received a smack on his head from the man standing next to him. “Shut up.” He growled out.
“Are you okay?” Vincenzo asked. I took a deep breath and tried to recover myself so he would leave me alone, but the moment I started speaking my voice cracked. “I’m fine.”
“Then what do you have in your hands?” Vincenzo smiled and grabbed my wrist to raise my hand. “I think she’s crying because she’s pregnant!” Luis spoke and walked over to Vincenzo. Beau stayed behind and held his hands together. I figured he was some kind of bodyguard. Just like the Lamberti’s, Vincenzo looked as if he came from an important and powerful family.
“Are you crying because...it’s none of my business,” Vincenzo said and finally let go of my hand. “All I want is to apologize for my little brother disturbing you.”
“I don’t want any babies. To have babies you have to do that thing. I saw it in live-action on my brother’s laptop. It was on this site called po-“ Luis ranted, but could not finish his sentence when Vincenzo held his hand in front of Luis’ mouth and told him to shut up.
For the first time, I heard a chuckle leave Beau’s mouth who had a satisfied look on his face while Vincenzo was dying of embarrassment. I couldn’t help but laugh at the small pout he gave me while he was waiting for my reaction. “Well, at least you made her happy.”
Luis gave me a bright smile and shrugged his shoulders and I gave him one back. Growing up in a group home and a couple of foster families I knew very well how little children did nothing other than speaking their innocent truth without thinking about others, but that’s what I loved about them. I love children.
“Were you crying because you got knocked up?” Vincenzo asked and changed the subject. I was shocked at his sudden question and immediately shook my head. He was right though.
“N-no, I don’t even know if I’m pregnant!” I quickly defended myself, but only when he let out a laugh I realized he was joking with me. If he only knew.
“Okay, then there is no reason for you to be crying. I don’t want to involve myself in your personal life but being able to provide for a child is a blessing.” He said and looked down at Luis who had already been distracted by his phone. His words were encouraging, but I could barely provide for myself. “Are you a dad?”
“No, I’m sorry it’s really none of my business.” He apologized, and I felt bad for the way my words came out. It was a sincere question and not meant to be a snarky comment.
“Can you keep this a secret?” I carefully asked. It was a bit embarrassing to ask, but I was aware of his good relationship with Christian and could not have him finding out under any circumstances when I didn’t even know for sure. Would Christian even think of the chances of him being the father if he knew?
“I don’t know who I should tell, but sure.” He promised and gave me a warm smile. We stared at each other for a few seconds but after a while, I got self-conscious and wanted to get home as soon as possible.
“Well, thank you for your advice and for cheering me up but I really have to go.” I excused myself and gave Luis who had put his phone away a pat on his head. “Bye, miss!” I heard Luis yell after me but I had already disappeared from the aisle and made my way to the counter to pay for the dual package pregnancy test.
The moment I got back home I wasted no time and immediately did the pregnancy test. Yes, I was so prepared that I had even drunk two cans of water before going to the store so I didn’t have to wait till I had to go to the bathroom.
After going through the difficult instructions I patiently waited on the results while staring at a white wall like a zombie and thought about my life. I graduated high school with bad grades, I was a college drop out because I couldn’t keep up with my peers and had no further life plans at the age of twenty-one.
No matter what, I couldn’t be-
My thoughts got interrupted by the loud beeping sound which had almost made me jump up. With baby steps, I walked towards the cabinet where I had put down the tests and closed my eyes.
Please let it be negative.
I clasped my hands together and prayed for the test to be negative so I could move on with my life and forget about all of this, but when I opened my eyes and read the exact same on both tests I felt as if my world came crashing down.
Pregnant, 3+ weeks
After feeling emotionally numb for several hours I decided to call my doctor and was scheduled for a meeting the same day. The most difficult thing would be me taking a pregnancy test yet once again to confirm it.Hearing that the baby was the size of a blueberry was enough reason for me to ignore the doctor all through my first ultrasound. When I was younger I had dreamed of this moment and wished it would be a happy one but it felt like the complete opposite.I did not know how to ask for a referral to an abortion clinic but I managed to do it. If I removed the baby now, I wouldn’t get too attached to the idea of something living inside of my belly.Yes, that was what I was going to do. I was going to live my l
ChristianChristian looked at the beautiful woman in front of him and observed how she held a conversation with Marc and Johnny. To others Isobel seemed close to perfect, she was beautiful to look at, smart, educated, kind— and Christian could not disagree with that.In the past, Francesca had always been outspoken over how perfect Isobel would be for Christian while the two at the time got embarrassed by her statements. It had not only been Francesca but a huge majority who had shared those same thoughts, but for Christian that was a no-go.He did not like her in that way and ignored the crush she had developed, but he had no problem whatsoever with how she threw himself on him and took advantage of her. Despite throwing several hints that he was not looki
It was a few days further and I was still three months pregnant. Nope, absolutely nothing had changed and I still felt like shit. After finishing up my week behind the bar it was the weekend and somehow I managed to call in sick. Christian was out of the picture and so was Lucio who was at first surprised to see me in the kitchen but didn’t pay lots of attention to it.I knew that if I had to work it tonight it would’ve been time to start dancing again, but I also knew that I couldn’t do that, at least not with a baby in my belly. After looking up several job applications I had quickly found out that no one was waiting on a college drop out.My hands grasped for the abortion clinic booklet and I held it tightly.Why did it have to be this difficult?<
When I walked into the clinic with my hoodie pulled over my head I had hoped for it to be a quick visit, just like I had expected for them to remove the baby as soon as possible, but they didn’t.In the morning I woke up feeling anxious and perhaps even excited to get rid of the baby but each time reality kicked in I’d feel guilty and thought about how much I wanted to have something of my own. If I had this child I would never be alone, but if I had this child it would be yet another mouth to feed and babies were expensive. The costs of $13,000 a year shocked me and definitely helped me with my decision.That amount of money on top of what I had to pay for myself was ridiculously much and
Today was the day. I had to tell Christian about my pregnancy. Even though I hate to admit it, Marc was absolutely right. It made no sense to hide it or to run away from the situation when he was going to figure it out either way, so it would be for the best if it came from me.I looked at the leather jacket in my hand and straightened it with my hand. It was the same jacket he had given me the day he had brought me home and I had yet to return it, he didn’t even ask for it.I know that I was analyzing things as usual but if he was going to treat the baby like the jacket I did not have much expectations. To be honest, I didn’t had any expectations at all so I was prepared for the worst. I did not want his support, I did not want his money, I just wanted him to know and that&
Christian dropped the pen he was holding and froze for a second before he looked up from his desk. I tried to read his face, but it showed no expression. Not a single frown,nothing.“Yes, I’ve been pregnant for three months now and I thought you should at least know the truth. I don’t need your help or your money, I don’t even need you to be there for the baby. But I just want to tell you that I’m pregnant and that I’m keeping the bab-“The moment a chuckle left his mouth I stopped with my sentence and look at his clenched fist. I couldn’t help but gulp out of fear
“Pregnant?” Faith asked and scrunched up her nose. It was difficult to see whether she was surprised, disgusted, or perhaps even happy but alsoherreaction was better than expected.“You secured the bag just like that?” Faith asked and ran towards me to hug me while Luna still had a confused look on her face and was trying to process everything that was going on. “I had no idea you guys were close like that.”Close?Even though I had started to get used to the idea of co-parenting we had a long way to go until we would be near close. “They obviou
Christian paced back and forth around his dad’s office, wondering if he should even get in or not. After he had, had a day to process the news he decided to tell his dad before word traveled fast and he had to figure it out from someone else.Lucio knew his son could be a handful and had always warned him,‘don’t knock up some random girl, and especially not one of the girls we work with.’He knew his father wouldn’t be having it because he had already broken two rules. Lucio had been very vocal about how he wanted Christian to take his distance from Serena the day she saw him walk out of his office.Anyone but her.“Christian is that you running a maratho