Living The Past

Jane's POV

I would imagine it so many times in my head. If I'd the chance to be in front of you for one last time, what would I say? Or what could you probably say to me? Would it make a difference? And every time I come up with the same answer.

' I don't know '

Never in my life, I thought about how one's life affects others. The idea of love scared me. To lose it in order to re-gain was never in the plans. I died in order to love again.

Since that day I felt like I've been holding my breath. I would look you in the eye if I could, and tell you I'm okay, so you could be happy wherever you are. But you more than anyone know that I'm a bad liar.

I currently ask myself, who am I? It always seemed to be a pretty easy question to answer. Now! I'm not so sure. Maybe my regrets changed me into a stranger that is always so apologetic, like my entire existence is embarrassing.

A FEW YEARS BACK

" I'm not done yet, you jerk!! " I slapped my twin's hand stopping him from snatching my drawing.

" You've been saying the same thing for the past two hours " Jaden said after a long sigh.

We're currently at granny Lauren's back yard, she is my mother's oldest friend. She lives alone but she told us she has a grandson that moved to England a few years ago. She has been around since we were born.

Although she is much older than my mom she still acts younger than most people her age, that's why she hates when we call her granny, but we still do it anyway for almost 17 years.

This is our favorite spot. Is a mini garden out here, and the display on how the sun washes the garden with a golden glow injecting life as it strikes the green grass is mesmerizing. One could see the enjoyment of the plants, the beauty of the flower's pollen resembling floating grains of pixie dust swinging in the strands of the wind.

Some may say what she has here is a residential garden, but I like to use the term traditional garden the more general type of anyway, as she uses plants sparsely. At the end of the garden, there is a small grove of trees that always provides birds in my opinion boorishness birds as they always sound like a church full of people whispering at the same time, in one of these same trees is a swing we put there when we were seven years old.

But there is a loner tree located on the right side of the door that leads to the kitchen where she always puts a cloth underneath. Lucky us that it's near the kitchen so we get to enjoy the tree's shadow and welcome the sweet fresh scent of newly baked bread coming from the kitchen's window.

As always we're sitting back to back something we do since I know myself as a person, although it gets more comfortable for me as time passes for the fact that at the age of sixteen almost seventeen, Jaden was already enjoying his herculean type of body, providing me with his broad shoulders so that I could sleep with no problems, while for his disadvantage I was... Well, I was just your average short not much to talk about sixteen soon to be seventeen years old girl.

I was currently drawing a woman I saw earlier. I wanted Jaden to see but he wouldn't stop annoying and mocking me on how long I was taking to finish it and blah blah.

How could I finish if he keeps distracting me?

" Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you were all waiting for is finally here " I said proudly as I lifted the paper taking in the drawing I'd in front of me.

" Finally, I was afraid it would take you a whole year to finish it " Jaden said dramatically as he grabbed the paper to analyze my work.

" Hmmm " I heard him murmur.

I was scared he wouldn't like it. As we're still sitting back to back I couldn't see his facial expression

" Sexy " He cleared his throat and added " You manage to empathize her sensuality as well as her innocence "

Without realizing my lips were holding the brightest smile they could manage. My twin knows how to get the right reactions out of me.

Jaden suddenly moved from his spot, my back found its way on the red cloth we were sitting on.

" Ouch!! " I screamed before staring daggers into a laughing Jaden.

" I just hope you're not into girls like me, if so we'll be unconditionally the same. You know the ultimate twins" He said laughing harder.

" I told you I saw it when I went to Wernhil, the girl that was sitting in front of me at the ice cream shop was wearing a shirt with this drawing, not exactly the same just... " I suddenly stopped.

' Why am I explaining myself to this idiot? '

" Whatever Jaden, and so you know there is no such thing as ultimate twins" I said staring at the sky that was threatening to rain with a long face pensive.

" Plus we'll never truly be the same. I'll always have a V and you a P" I said laughing at my choice of words.

" Ew, that was gross sis " He shook his head and turned back while I stuck my tongue out like a five-year-old.

I loved how comfortable we were around each other, there were no secrets between us, literally!! Like when I got my periods, Jaden was the first to know he even tried to steal pads as he calls them ' plugs ' from my aunt because I was too embarrassed to tell her. It's strange that till today he still comes to sleep with me sometimes, especially when he has a bad day.

I winced with brows furrowed as I pointing at the forming clouds " It was sunny just now, and suddenly is about to rain? "

" The weather is just moody, just like you and that is why we've to go and say bye to granny so we can head home " He informed me as he reached out to help me stand.

I packed my books, glad that I managed to finish all my last assignments for this year. I grabbed the red cloth we were sitting on and took it with me as I walked behind Jaden into the kitchen.

" Granny " Jaden called as we passed through the kitchen where I placed the red cloth on one of the chairs and moved into the living room.

" Upstairs " She replied.

She came down dressed elderly but spry in her yellow cotton dress, hiding her slightly slim and short body, a white apron on top of it that was covered with pink and blue flowers.

Granny was a woman of thin face and a soft creamy complexion. Jaden always said she resembles a cappuccino, with her somehow extended wrinkles that gave her age away, but miraculously spotless allowing her small brown gentle eyes to shine.

She has black wavy hair bothered by some grey hair hold in her usual ponytail.

" My pumpkins are you leaving already? " Her thin voice carried sadness.

She always gloomy no matter how long we stayed. Last time we come over for the whole weekend but she didn't want us to go as she always says " You could always stay a little longer "

" Yes, granny " I said hugging her " And I'm too old to be called that "

Granny and Jaden laughed as if it was my first time complaining.

" Tomorrow we'll be here as usual, plus I promised I would go buy new seeds to plant " He said placing a kiss on her cheek.

" Alright, first let me give you some cookies I baked " She said smiling while walking into the kitchen.

" Granny can you please stop trying to make me fat, if this continues I'll have to start a very rigid diet " I whined as she walked toward us giving a bowl full of cookies to Jaden.

" I'll try" She smiled forming nets of wrinkles at the corners of her eyes.

" Off you go, and get home safe pumpkins " I rolled my eyes as I heard the nickname once again and walked out of the house with Jaden behind me.

When we entered the taxi, I laid my head on Jaden's shoulder allowing myself to shut my eyes and loosen up.

This is our everyday routine, we currently attend high school at Academia secondary school, it happened to be close to granny's house. So after school, we normally go to Granny's and stay there until one of us wants to go home. We mostly do our homework, help Granny whenever she needs even if it means sitting there listening to her stories that by the way, we know them by heart. It's just sad that this is our last year in high school.

Without realizing I fell asleep.