I am afraid of opening up. I am afraid of opening up because I have been through enough heartache; heartbreak , hurt and pain. Dexter wasn't good for me and I am thankful that he cheated on me with my cousin. They deserve each other. I am in love with MJ and if the circumstances were different I wouldn't be scared. I am scared because he makes me feel something I haven't felt since he broke up with me . To be honest I never really got over him. There was no one who came close to making me feel alive. He is the antidote to a part of me that had been dying. I wasn't really in love with Dexter because I couldn't love him the way I loved and still love Maxwell. I didn't want to leave but I had to. I had club night with Maria and he had practically begged me not to go but he did that knowing that there wasn't any other way to get me to stay. I told him that I was going to be with Julius , Sam ,and Maria. He had to go to the Sports center to go check on a couple of things for a meeting and he said he would be done with everything before I return. By the time we woke up from an afternoon of fun I had an hour to get ready and leave. I had left Max sleeping, and I had left a note for him by the fridge telling him; what time I will be coming back .
When I walked into the Club; Maria and the guys were already at a table arguing. The party hadn't started and they had ordered dinner . It was a Halloween party and there were all sorts of "scary" things up. I sat down and ordered a mocktail. I didn't want to get drunk and wake up feeling horrible the next morning . I had a meeting anyway, and I was still recovering from the Bill and Blake's birthday party. I was a bit quiet and Julius noticed . I was staring outside the window looking at the lake running. My mind was on Max.
" Ell ?"
"Talk to me."
Maria had gone to the ladies and Sam went to go get us refills.
"Jules I am in love with Blackwell."
Julius took a deep breath and gave me a concerned look
" Are sure this time?"
"I have never stopped loving him."
" Betty just left with half of everything ."
" I know. They both had a contract. The only thing he has left is the city apartment and a couple of cars."
" Are you sure you want to go to next weeks' weeding?"
" I don't want to go..."
" Have you said I love you back to Max; because you struggle a lot to express how you feel?"
" We are having amazing sex okay and he did say it ."
"What did you say?"
" I love him."
"Good ; because he went as far as getting a gig that will allow you to spend time with him ."
"What are you talking about?"
"He is your nine o'clock meeting tomorrow morning . The whole team is here anyway and we have a match with the kids at the orphanage planned. "
"That's good ."
" Max got into a fight with Garry. He has been given time off. He practically begged the media team to be on your project ."
I was a bit thrown off
" When was this?"
" Heritage day. "
"What time ?"
" You and time... "
" In the evening. Sam was surprised . "
It all started to make sense ... he wasn't angst .He logged into my notebook and saw the plan. The rest of the night went by smoothly and loudly . Sam and Jules had to leave early and Maria and I were left alone and at some point while we were dancing Garry cut in with his friend Matt. I remember seeing their faces in a book I was given . Garry was going out with Betty and I didn't want to get involved in something messy. I signaled to Maria that I was off and that we would talk later .
She nodded and I started making my way out using the back exit. I called MJ and left him a message. I had seen his six missed calls and three texts. As soon as I made it outside I felt a hand grab my arm and to my surprise when I looked up it was Dexter. I don't know what he was doing but I didn't want to speak to him. I tried to rebuff him but he slammed me against the concrete wall with one hand around my neck choking me . In a panicked state of mind , I slapped him and kicked him in the nuts. Thank goodness I had high heels on . I went with the minimalistic look black skinny jeans with stiletto heels and a white t-shirt. My hair was naturally curly so I tied it up into a pony tail. I was running away from Dexter because he smelt of alcohol and I knew the monster that resided in him. He was going to hurt me if I didn't run.
He came at me running and I flashed back to the night he threw me down the staircase. He blamed me for his strained relationship with his parents . My hair was shorter then and the fall had resulted in a concussion. I woke up in hospital the next morning and Dexter swore up and down that he had no control and he was sorry he did what he did. It turned out he wasn't taking his pills. He had a condition he didn't want to tell me about ,but he told me if I leave him he might as well not be living .The parking lot wasn't that far from the backdoor exit. I snapped back into reality when I heard screeching wheels , , smelt burning rubber, and saw bright blinding lights. The last feeling I felt was regret. I should have just taken a rain check on Club night with Maria and the guys. The feeling after that was pain and then darkness .
MaxwellI am in love with Ellie and I am pretty sure she is in love with me. I have to come clean with her . Snooping around her notebook was wrong. I had told Julius who told me when he came through to the soccer club's office that; what I did was wrong and she couldn't lie to Ellie. I tried to call her and I even left texts, but she didn't respond. I knew she would be mad at me and I couldn't just show up at the club and spoil her night. What I did was sneaky. I knew she would be back before midnight so I decided to get her a sorry pack. Basically I filled a basket with all of her favorite things and wrote an apology note. I took it with me to the lake house and waited for her there. I really needed to buy a new house close to home .I waited for Ellie and I must have dosed off because I was woken up by the sound of my phone vibrating. I got off the couch and reached for it on the kitchen counter , and answered it."Blackwell.
MaxwellAbraham is the closest thing I have to a grandfather figure. He is Eleanor's grandfather and he has always been on my side. Even when I broke Ellie's heart he wasn't mean but he was disappointed. When I found out why Ellie was with Jules and how I misunderstood the situation, I felt like crap afterwards. Whatever brought us back together must have been what knew we were meant to be. I am thankful that I have her back ; but I can't lose her. Abe was talking to Daniel. The conversation looked intense and he seemed calm but worried. I sat down because; it didn't help to be all panicky and angst. I just need her to be okay. I love her with my whole heart.When Daniel went back to work ; Abe came and sat next to me he leaned over to give me a hug and I hugged him back. I looked at him and spoke."What's going on gramps?"" Ellie was hurt pretty badly , but she will recover. Betty...""My ex?""Yes , bumped her
EllieI don't like being disorientated, or waking up and not knowing what the hell is going on. When my eyes shot wide open I was in pain . My head hurt , so badly, and my arm was on fire too . Before waking up I dreamt of nothing . I just woke up and saw a hand holding my hand; a guy sleeping , and the time on the wall indicating that it was Nine in the morning. I took a deep breath and squeezed the hand that was holding mine and to my surprise it was ; Maxwell . He looked at me and I looked at him and smiled he kissed my cheek and left to go get the doctor. I took another deep breath and took stock of the extent of my injuries. I had a cast on my left hand and a my head felt like it did when Dexter pushed me down the stairs a while back when we were dating. I closed my eyes and I flashed back to the night he showed his demon. When my grandfather asked me what really happened and how I hid it from everyone.I started rel
MaxThis has been the longest week and emotionally I know where I stand with my one and only Ellie. I've been staying with her at the lake house on their property . It was already the weekend of the wedding. She was right about Sandra not cancelling the wedding. She dropped the charges against Dexter and Sandra somehow got Abe to agree .Sandra's father was also going to be walking her down the aisle. Ellie had agreed to go to the wedding. She had been quiet all week and she wasn't herself to be honest. I knew when we came back from the hospital that she had gone into a dark place . We did work and she knew her stuff. By the end of the week we had already had an event planned and a contingency plan . This meant that we had the weekend and the week off because the tournament was starting next week Friday. Betty had been calling me non-stop . She was already with Garry and I had already sold off what we owned together .
EllieThis was just too good to be true. Maxwell hasn't changed. I knew he had a reputation ; but he never, not once cheated on me or kissed some one else , when we were together. If this was to get back at me for what happened years ago then he had succeeded.I always knew that he had a vengeance streak. I was innocent in all that happened. My cousin who is married by now to my ex fiancé ,who cheated on me and then got her pregnant. Oh and to top it all off he told me that I wasn't parent material.I didn't want to tell Max what happened with his father before his mother did . Billie and Blake had also already been through hell. If Dan and Salvatore didn't come in when they did I would've been in the inbetween wondering how the fudge sticks did I ended up there. I was going to check up on the twins because I had come home for the weekend . Bill and Blake needed laptops; but I got t
MaxIt's my birthday . Happy birthday to me but it's not a happy one. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did when Ellie said I should give her time. I just don't have the patience to give someone time when I know I can help remedy whatever they are going through. I was peeved and Mia came at the wrong time ... Just as the alcohol was kicking in and I really couldn't counter any attack.Even being straddled and kissed in public and my girlfriend seeing it . I usually have self-control ; I would never , and I mean ever cheat on Ellie or sleep with someone else just to get back at her. She broke up with me. She gave me the same look she gave me when I broke her heart and ran away with Betty. I don't recall what happened last night; but all I know is that I owe Eleanor an apology and I have some begging to do.My birthday fell on a Sunday and I didn't have anything planned. I knew I wanted to spend it with the
EllieThe past twenty four hours have been the most; stressful, and eventful. I have gone from being madly in love with Maxwell, to being angry to the point of wanting nothing to do with him, finding out that I was pregnant with his child , and having a kid I loved end up in hospital . I was with the on duty nurse when it happened . He just fell out of the blue and at first I thought he was playing a game we always play to get me to come out and play tag , but when he didn't get up we got worried. I ran to where he was and he wasn't breathing when I got to him . I couldn't pick him up and the nurse came through too help me . I was talking to Max when it happened. He wanted us to un-breakup . I didn't answer him .I was sitting in the waiting room when he ran in and gave me a hug. With all that was happening I couldn't hold back the tears and I started crying on his shoulder. I was inconsolable for a couple of minutes and all he d
MaxThe hardest goodbyes are the ones we never see coming. You are never ready to say goodbye.When the doctor told us about Ralph Ellie cried again on my shoulder .We were not told the cause of death,because we were not his legal guardians. A week later when we went to the funeral Ellie wasn't herself. We were both dealing with loss, and I didn't want us to go through it alone. I've made the mistake of holding back with Ellie before and I don't want to make the same mistake again. We were also a couple of days away from tournament .Ellie stayed behind after the funeral. The words she spoke hit home in more ways than one. I am a man who is always in control of his emotions , and Ellie always sees right through me . She said;" When loss happens ; we feel everything and nothing at the same time. You want to numb the bad feelings, but you can't do that without affecting the