A Safe Place

ON THIS MOONLESS NIGHT, even the silhouettes are gone. The usual friendly smattering of stars is obscured utterly by dense cloud. Ordinarily, she would stay in underneath her old blankets on a night like this, but today it was different. These few hours that withered away so fast were her last.

So, she took every advantage she had, taking it all in basking in the sheer freedom of the quietness of the world at this time.

The coldness of the slate tiles and its dampness seeped through the thin polyester trousers Harlow had stolen from her mum. With knees pulled tight to my pronounced rib cage, she shivered at the late-night chill. In this poor light, the roof-tops spread in every direction like a great grey serpent with rectangles scales.

Only the red bricks chimneys ruined the illusion, but in this light, they were just as monochromatic as everything else, the slate, the swirling smog, the streets that were never deserted, the unfriendly sky with its dense clouds robbing her of the stars that laid behind their vale.

From here, she could see what a maze this borough was, every house three stories and each joined to the next. The streets curved as if laid down on a whim a few centuries ago before anyone had conceived of a grid pattern idea. She smirked; up here she was like one of those kings of the world, untouchable. She leant back against the chimney, reaching for chocolate wedges in her pocket and slipped a few feet towards the gutter.

"Fuck." She exclaimed, catching herself before she went further down those slippery tiles and past the gutter.

With a sigh of relief, ever so carefully, she stands up slightly and turned her body towards facing the slated tiles, and began to crawl them back up towards her rectangle window that laid open, waiting for her return.

The number of times her mum had given her one of her famous lectures for being on the roof was countless. She could even imagine her entering her own room right now, and there her mum would be standing, with crossed arms across her chest and with a pointed look, she would begin to start her never-ending scolding. So many times she had seen her mum scold, it was a daily thing, but then again, Harlow gave her every reason to.

But tonight, it was different. She was sound asleep, dreaming a dreamless sleep. All while Harlow struggled to, everything felt so suffocating in there. How could she sleep? When she was being forced to attend a foreign school, away from her family and her friends. Well, her one friend.

Being social, it just wasn't for her. It never really came easy for her; over time people began to become hard to understand and demanding for each other's attention—something she couldn't give. When the people around her began to feel like paper chains in the rain, and the sky hold nothing but the promise of storms, life is lonely.

Loneliness was Harlow's only dependable friend these days, there morning, noon and night. It always remained there, like no matter what she did to extinguish it, it remained ever untouched and never moving. Like there was something missing, something that can forever dissolve that never wavering loneliness.

She grasped the window seal, pulling herself back in her room as she put her legs in first and jumps in. Turning she closed the window and pulled those translucent curtains, never did do the room justice in holding the morning light from ever entering the room. But, they were pretty. A faded white with the spotting of glitter gave the room a bit of life.

Grabbing the sheets of her bed, pulling them back. She jumps in bed, basking in the little few hours she and her mother had before they moved. One again.

Her bed had long been her safe place, her cocoon, and those soft sheets were all part of creating those treasured emotions. Soon sleep overtook her.

Her last night here. A place she has called home for many years.

---------

When the time is right to move on, you move. Then those boxes that fill and the house that empties, become an act of joy, of self-love. You go onwards and the home you love becomes the home of others. The walls that protected you will protect others.

And so you say your farewell to the garden trees, to the flowers you watched bloom. Moving vans come, are packed and go. Then comes that bitter-sweet time of parting, the sunset that is also a sunrise.

"I'm going to really miss you," Kate says, tears sipping out of her delicate blues.

It was hard to imagine living life without the person you practically grew up with, someone you valued as a sister. But things changed, they were forced to move out of this town. Rosewood.

Her grandmother became sick a while back and now that her papa wasn't in the picture. He died three years ago, a true tragedy. He was the only male figure she had in her life. Her father was god knows where, but his lack of presents never really bothered. Why would it? She was surrounded by people that loved her.

And yet, it did. Now that the people who have always been there for her were beginning to leave. Moving on with their lives, but the question was she ready to let them go so soon?

No, not really. They're the only ones she would confine in and now that they were living- now that she was leaving, she didn't feel like she could.

"Same." She says, heartbreaking.

Dread filled her, she would soon be living in a town that was foreign, with people who she didn't recognise. Suddenly, the realisation of being alone is was more dreadful than anything she had been through before.

A Loneliness that would echo the chamber of pain. Solitude began when the pain was over, she knew that much. But how could she cope with that? Again.

"You better call me every day." She says, hugging tightening her arms around Harlow.

"I will."

Kate pulled away abruptly, pointing a finger at her chest. "You better." The warning in Kate's eyes didn't go unnoticed, and for some reason Harlow felt saddened at the thought of not speaking everyday. 

"Harlow, time to go hun." Her mother's voice pulled her away from her only friend. 

What if people didn't like her? What if she doesn't make friends there? 

Harlow gave another quick hug, hugging her friend Kate tightly. She couldn't bear to hold it in anymore, the heartbreak she felt was like the grief that came in waves, gruelling, stealing any future appetites she might've had and sleep alike. It was a shard in her gut that never left, though perhaps in time the edges will dull. It feels like death just as bereavement and in quiet moments it chokes the breath from the body and short circuits her mind. 

Tears she promised herself she would let out, betrayed her.  They poured down her cheeks like a waterfall.

What was once whole suddenly shattered; where once was peace is emptiness, echoes of a love she put everything to.  

They pulled away from each other once again. Letting go for real this time. There was no doubt she was going to miss Kate.

Turning, Harlow made her way to the car and got in. Through the window next to her she waved a sad goodbye to her dearest friend. Kate.

Kate's figure got further and further away from her. The car gains speed quickly, entering the open road ahead.

Her mother places a gentle hand on her nap. "We'll be okay." She says. Harlow couldn't help be feel dread like something was coming. And not in a good way. 

"I hope so."