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Chapter 31
His father sits at the head of the table, James and I on either side of him. James constantly gives me reassuring looks, but I don't know if he's trying to reassure me or himself. It's clear that he's uncomfortable with this, me meeting his father. It only makes me nervous. It only makes the weird feelings grow.
"So, Rae," his father begins, taking lead, "what pack do you come from?"
"The Waters Pack," I answer timidly, not wanting to talk at all even though I agreed to this. I feel as I did when I first met James, hardly saying a word.
His father nods. "And you're not of an Alpha bloodline?"
"No," I say carefully, "I'm not."
He nods again. "Of a Beta bloodline?"
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The blankets are soft against my skin. Light pours in through the closed shutters, giving a dim warmth to the room, and I feel his arms around me. I feel his shallow breaths just reach the back of my neck. I feel like another version of myself, one that I've never met, but one that takes away the anxiety and sadness that clouded my mind before. I'm still Rae, but I'm Content Rae. I'm Satisfied Rae. I'm Rae who just might be okay in the end.Right here, in this spot, I feel happy. It's a light, cozy happiness that kisses your cheek in the morning and again before you fall asleep. It's breathless and smells like home. It's a cracked but lush sidewalk, filling up the holes with color and life. It's summer days and nights on the beach, hearing nothing but the waves. Happiness is me and my one true partner acting as a team and not as enemies. It's experiencing my lowest point then my highest,
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"Do you like this one more than the last one?"I turn away from the mirror and shrug. "I don't know, Gail. They're all pretty, I just can't make up my mind, I guess."Gail picks up the next dress by the hanger and hands it to me, this time giving me a long, black dress with a slit on the left side, covered by lace. I take it and shuffle into the bathroom, tired of looking at myself in the mirror while I yank them on. Each time the bags under my eyes seem to grow darker and I contemplate just picking a random one from the pile just so we can stop. "Where do all these dresses even come from?" I ask through the door, pulling the dark fabric over my legs."James asked me to get you some things to try on for the party, so I did. Be glad that you have options," she says as I come out, spinni
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Many strangers greet us as we make our way inside. Though I am familiar with the building from the gathering, it looks completely transformed. Sure, it was dressed up before, but everything is switched around now. There are fewer tables and instead more room for standing and chatting or whateverleadersdo. As my eyes scan the area, I see most people standing with a drink, in groups of two to five people. And unlike the gathering, there are guards at the doors outside and inside. Coincidentally, I spot Theodore with one other guard towards the back, and I immediately make plans in my head to see him.James places his hand lightly on my back, reeling me back to the current situation. Knowing that we'll have to welcome everyone, his movements towards the grouped people don't surprise me. I take a quick breath before we reach the first one, a set of three.
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Making my way through the people again, back the way I came, I find James and ask him if we can talk. He gives me a worried look and excuses himself before following me back into the corner. "Is it about my father?" He asks. "The guards reported back that they saw nothing.""No, it's not. Ava told me about thisKing of Alphasthing. What is she talking about, James? How come you never said anything?"He lets out a breath and relaxes. "It's nothing. It's just some idea that a few people have been tossing around.""She told me that it was discussed at someAlpha meetingand that your name was brought up. If it's being talked about at some all-important meeting then it sounds serious to me."James gr
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I sit in the dirt, against a tree, the bark scratching my bare back, and I stay curled up. A thin fog gathers around me, the air frigid. My fingers lose color and I feel as if these are the sensations of death. Everything is cold, so painfully and relentlessly cold. The feeling in my toes fade and I contemplate shifting again to stay alive. I can't be too far, I can't be off of pack land. I should go back but I'm scared that his father will grab me again, that he'll choke me and cut me as he did his wife.'You didn't finish the diary, did you?'A harsh shiver overcomes me and I hold my bare body tighter, ready to shift even though my wolf is exhausted. This is what I get for not letting her out enough, she grows weak.I need to go back, I need to find James, he needs to know the truth
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When I was younger, I convinced myself that I would never have a Mate. Maybe itwasfor dumb reasons like, my face is full of pimples, or my legs are too fat, or my hair is dry and not as soft and shiny as hers. In my young mind, I believed no guy would want me because at the time I didn't possess such traits. It is a stupid thing to believe—that I am too ugly for a Mate—but the thought grasped onto me for years. The thought brought me to tears while I sat in my bathtub, only in the tub so no one could hear me. All in all, I was depressed.Me, a sixteen-year-old werewolf at the time, was depressed because of my physical appearance. I mean, werewolves are supposed to be beautiful right? Flawless skin, vibrant hair, lushes lips, soothing voice, perfect body, a list of traits that surrounded me, yet traits I didn't have. All of the girls my age were beautiful,
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I enter the building and find many girls in their flashy dresses accompanied by many men in their dress shirts and slacks, all looking quite nice. Then I join the mix, and people start to glance over. After last year, they probably thought they'd never see me at one of these again. One can only hope.While trying to get that damn mysterious Alpha out of my head—his image infecting my mind—I search the room for anyone that can help me. These girls must know everything about mates, unlike myself. When my mother tried to teach me, I forced myself to ignore her, not wanting to get excited about something I will never have. Now I just have to make sure, the girls will tell me what finding your mate is like, and my little run-in will turn to nothing after all. It was simply minor attraction to the man. I swear.Two familiar girls
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