Chapter-Two: Heart, Shadow, and Bone

After unpacking most of my possessions in my new bedroom, I walk over to my queen sized bed with a floral bedding and fall on it face first. It's been a long day, and it feels like half of it isn't over just yet.

I switch my body around to lie on my back. I let my mind wander as my eyes drift up at the rotating ceiling fan above me. I'm completely exhausted.

I think now is the best time to come to terms that there is a point in fighting my current situation.

Unless an angel appears in my room and takes me away from this godforsaken place, there is nothing else I could do to change the way things are.

As the sun rises in the morning, mom will leave me here with Aunt Jennie. And regardless of how I feel about being here, I can't do anything to ease the burdens that lie on her shoulders, other than and remain here until the summer is over.

I'll just need to push through my negative feelings for three months and try to enjoy myself as much as I can. But then again, who am I fooling?

I know it will take a lot more than suppressing my feelings to get over what happened that night. That dream...

Whenever I think about it, I get even more ambivalent about being here. For years I've tried to reassure myself it was all just a nightmare. However, my heart keeps telling me otherwise.

Not even the medication helps anymore. If anything, it makes me feel much worse than I already am.

I get dizzy, my mind and body go numb, and my dreams have become much more sinister than before. And it feels like I'm bargaining with torcher just to get a healthy amount of sleep in.

I've been on sleep and anxiety pills non-stop since the age of 11 years old. The pills never helped. They only numbed the pain, but were never capable enough to make my anxiety or the nightmares go away. Because no lie would ever be strong enough to change the truth of what really happened that night, and my heart knows that well enough.

I daydream for a few minutes and then exit through my bedroom threshold.

Wandering through the corridor on the second floor, I look around in complete awe. For a split second, I forgot how massive my aunt's place truly was.

To my right is the bottom floor. I can view the entire open floor living room — where mom and aunt are currently sitting — and the kitchen is all right below my chin.

The crème colored walls, high ceilings with wooden panels running across it with a big rustic ceiling fan hanging from above brings the interior design together, perfecting the homely atmosphere I know my aunt and uncle were going for when they built this place.

It was exactly how I remembered it; though there are a few new paintings and furniture pieces added into the mix.

I saunter over to the wooden rail that extends from my bedroom door all the way to the end of the hallway, where the stairs descend and make my way down the steps.

On a gray loveseat sofa is where my mom and aunt. Their voices echo throughout the house, talking about god knows what, but regardless, I stroll towards them and engage my ears in their ongoing discussion.

"This place has been so different since Richard passed away." My aunt sighs, sitting with her legs crossed and fingers interlocked on her stomach.

“You know, after the incident took place, business here significantly decreased, especially when the news of his death hit the papers. Folks were just too scared to come here. You wouldn’t believe how many employees I had to fire in less than one week," she explains.

"There just weren't enough funds to pay them all. But thank heavens things got better a year later. I reassured everyone that another attack like this won't happen again, which is why I installed the electric fence to keep the animals away. I almost fell into debt because of that darn fence, but it did keep this place from being closed for good." I listen to her diligently while taking a seat on a matching loveseat sofa across from them.

"I made so many tough decisions without him, and it still feels strange doing it all on my own."

"You poor thing,” mom says, grabbing aunt's hand tenderly. Jennie hums in response.

I know that my aunt's still hurting over my uncle's death. I can tell by the dejected look in her eyes.

Upon learning that an animal viciously mauled my uncle. Everything just completely fell apart, including myself.

Uncle Rick was like a second father to me, so I can't even imagine what my aunt went through when he passed away. I wish I could've been there for her after he died, but we couldn’t afford the travel expenses to attend his funeral at the time.

It's safe to say that it was a troublesome time for us all.

"Well, anyway..." She clears her throat.

"There's a bunch of activities Lilith can do while she’s here. We’ve got swimming lessons in the pool house, dancing classes, a new yoga class up by the canoe shop, which a close employee of mine teaches on the weekends. Actually, he should be here in a few.” She grins at me, and I smile in return.

“On Friday, there will be movie nights at the recreation center. If she’s interested, of course. And oh! I almost forgot to mention that tomorrow night will be the Summer Formal Celebration held at the recreation center. There will be food, games, and dancing. Something that Lilith might enjoy.” Mom raises an eyebrow and gives me a knowing look.

Aunt then turns to me and says, "Oh, that reminds me. Your mom told me that you quit ballet a few months ago. May I ask why? If you don't mind me asking." A surge of anxiety ripples through my bones.

It feels like the world stopped spinning, and my heart has fallen to my gut. I don't know why that was suddenly brought up, and I don't feel like answering such a question.

I can't say that I didn't anticipate this question, but I wasn't prepared with how to answer it. Not like this.

Her eyes then become riddled with concern and unease.

"I know this might be a sensitive topic for you. It's just that you're such a talented dancer. It breaks my heart to see you throw your talent away."

The warmth in her eyes swells a pool of tears in mine, but I quickly blink them away.

I fell in love with ballet. It was all I ever wanted to do.

But things have changed, and so did I.

Mom lets out a cough to break the deafening silence.

“Well, that all just sounds great, don't you agree?"

Mom suddenly turns to me with raised brows and a lopsided grin. I avoid her gaping eyes.

“I just know you’re going to have a fantastic summer here, sweetie.” She says. And quite frankly, I have to disagree.

I tell them I'm thirsty to excuse myself from the conversation and head over to the kitchen.

In the refrigerator, there's leftover food and bottles of condiments, sodas, a half-gallon container of orange juice, and 2 bottles of spring water. I end up choosing the water.

To my left standing a few cabinets and a pantry away lives a window about half of my size. I trudge closer, and looking through it shows me the whole majestic view of Lake Omaha and the trees that surround it's borders.

It's the most majestic thing I've ever seen.

Popping the bottle cap open, I close my eyes and I lean a bit back to take a few sloppy sips. My neck tightens as the icy water burns my throat. A few streams of water surpass my lips, dripping down to my chin and collarbone.

As I open my eyes, something suddenly moves from my peripheral vision and disappears into the woods.

My body stiffens as I move closer to the window and peer out of it to check if something was out actually there, but found nothing but trees and the sparkling lake.

Strange.

~~~

After I returned to the living room, we continued our conversation. Most of which consisted of aunt Jennie and mom talking amongst themselves, occasionally asking me questions as I just nod.

Mom briefly got up and went to the bathroom, but returned shortly after my aunt bombarded me with questions about my high school life and my plans for after high school. Then mom removes her car keys from her back pocket.

“Lilith, sweetie? Do you mind getting my luggage from the car? There's something I need to discuss with your aunt for a minute or two." She turns to Aunt Jennie and gives her a knowing look. Jennie returns the favor.

I can feel my head tense in utter confusion while my fingers begin to tremble and shake. I could only see myself, I'd see the instant terror that shakes in my emerald eyes.

Going back outside, especially alone, is absolutely not on my to do list.

"Hello, dear?" Mom shakes the keys a little, which finally sets me free from my own head.

I chew my lip and nod slowly, eventually grabbing the keys from her palms.

Slowly, I get up from my seat and head towards the front door. I then open the door and walk outside, closing it shut behind me.

I take steady steps as I walk down the flight of stairs, reaching the bottom in a nick of time. The air is much cooler now that the sun no longer adores the sky as it did earlier, and an ombre of pink, orange, and purple melts into the ocean blue hue of the sky.

I close my eyes and breathe in the fresh, humid air to then fully hear the majestic melodies of cicadas and frogs croaking, as if they’re chanting for moonlight to appear quicker.

If there is one thing I remember enjoying about being here, it's this. The enchanting serenity that nature brings me.

Back in Orlando, my world was constantly shifting and changing. I had little time to just lounge around and look at nature, but here, I feel like I have all the time in the world.

The gentle breeze collides against my honey skin as my dark locks push against its current, like midsummer daffodils caught in the wind.

However, the temporary moment of peace becomes hostile as I hear a twig snap behind me.

Whipping my head around, I look at the house, checking if my mom or aunt came to help me with the luggage. But no. Nobody's there.

I glance around carefully, especially towards the sea of tall pine trees before me. And yet again, I see nothing there.

I look around once again before taking in a deep breath. This exact sensation of fear reminds me of that night seven years ago.

Not again…

Perhaps I'm being overly paranoid; however, I don't hesitate to make an instant B-Line towards the silver sedan and lift open the truck.

Despite the warm air, I feel a cold tremor surge through my body. I feel like someone's watching me, and the feeling is terrifyingly familiar.

I quickly grab my mom's bags, suitcase, and other belongings and reach up to close the truck door shut. Squeezing the strap of a duffle bag against my shoulder, I turn my right foot, preparing myself to turn around and dash straight to the house.

And it is then when I feel a firm hand grab my right shoulder.