First of Jesse II

"How is it?" Matthew asked me when we reached my apartment.

I glared at him, but it didn't have any effect on him. He just laughed at me and sat on one of my sofas in the living room.

"You didn't tell me!" I threw a pillow at him, and he caught it, hugging it.

"That was my surprise for you! After a decade, you see each other again," he said, proud like a kid.

"It's not good, you know?" I whispered.

"Huh? It's Oliver, right? Why aren't you happy?" he asked.

Yeah, Matthew didn't have any clue why I wasn't happy to see him. So I decided to act shocked, surprised, and shy, just to make him stop worrying. I would pretend like nothing happened and do it for work.

"Of course, I was shocked! I didn't expect that," I explained to Matthew with an overly dramatic reaction.

"Shouldn't you be thanking me?" he teased me. He really was annoying.

"Thank you for what?" I asked, although I knew exactly what he was referring to. I just wanted to play around.

"Come on, aren't you grateful to me?" I wanted to tell him that this was the biggest mistake he ever made in my life, so I wasn't grateful.

"Okay, okay, thank you!" I threw another pillow at him, laughing.

"You're welcome," he replied with a satisfied smile on his face.

He stood up and arranged the pillows on my sofa.

"I'm going now. Good luck with your work!" he said, then left.

I'm sorry, Matthew, but I guess I will not enjoy this work. Oliver was the reason why I have this fear, and I blamed him, even though I know it was my fault too. Falling for someone of the same gender shouldn't be a big deal, right? Love is blind, so I also have the right to fall in love, but I cannot do it ever again. I have these feelings, feelings that I'll bear forever.

I sighed heavily and started my work. I grabbed my notebook and pen, and opened the first page.

But...

WHAT THE HECK AM I GOING TO WRITE?

I didn't have any idea, and I didn't know how to start. What the heck was happening in my brain? It stopped processing ideas.

But I thought that if I watched some romantic movies, maybe I would get an idea of what to write. So I went to my room and rummaged through my CD collection.

"Shit, I have too many sci-fi and fantasy movies here," I muttered to myself.

I was still searching for any romantic movie when I realized that I had my phone, and I could search for whatever I wanted on the internet. Geez, I almost forgot about the advancements of the world.

I went to YouTube and typed "romantic movie" because I couldn't recall any movies I'd watched before.

I saw the results and scrolled through, looking for a really heart-touching movie. I wanted an inspiration that would make me feel loved. Feel loved? Did I ever feel it? Anyway, a movie caught my attention because of what was written in the thumbnail. It said, "The most heart-touching movie I've ever watched." So I clicked it.

The movie started with a girl inside her room, watching a guy from outside her window. I think she had a crush on that guy, but I wondered why she didn't come out of her room and talk to him. I continued to watch, and it was kind of boring, but I decided to finish watching it.

Suddenly, my phone rang, and I saw an unregistered number calling me. I picked it

 up anyway.

"Hello?" I answered the call.

"Is this Mr. Red Wright?" the caller said.

I was stunned for a moment when I heard his voice because it was Oliver. How did he know my—oh yeah, probably because of Matthew. I immediately stood up.

"Yes, speaking," I replied.

"I just wanted to ask if you've started writing," he asked in a monotone but polite voice.

"Actually, I haven't," I honestly answered. Please end the call. I was pacing back and forth in my small living room.

"Please do start writing now because we have already decided to enter your work, Mr. Wright, into a competition that will happen in three weeks from now." Say what? I stopped walking, a competition?

"What! But it was only my first time publishing my story at your company, and you decided to enter it into a competition without consulting me?" I shouted at him. It wasn't my intention to shout, but I was surprised by the sudden news.

"Yeah, we are aware of that, but the president has been liking your story from your files," he explained. What files?

"Who gave that to you?" I was confused because I was the only one who had those files, but—wait—

"Mr. Styles gave them to us," he said.

Yeah, as I thought, that stupid Matthew Styles. I gritted my teeth to control my anger. I'm gonna skin him alive when we meet again.

"Okay, I'll start working now, but I have a problem," I stated.

"What is it?" he asked, but I didn't sense any curiosity or worry in his voice. Maybe he was only doing this for work. What the heck is wrong with me? Why did I feel the need to tell him?

"Don't bother; I can handle it. Sorry," I replied. I just wanted to end the call immediately.

"Okay, have a good day, Mr. Wright," he said, and then he ended the call.

Finally, I could breathe now. I felt suffocated while talking to him, but I also felt weird. I didn't know if you could understand it, but I was a little happy and had the urge to cry. But what was my reason to feel that way? Did I miss him?

DARN IT! NO WAY! I was furiously shaking my head now. If you could see me, you'd say that I am a psychopath. I didn't know what to do now that I heard his voice again.

I just needed to calm down and think about what to do with his number. Should I save his number or block it? But he is my editor, and I need to have communication with him.

Communication.

The thing we used to have before, full of smiles and happiness. Now it was just plain communication between an editor and writer.

SHIT!!! Erase! Erase! Erase! Darn it! Why do I have these random thoughts? I should think about what I'm going to write.

But all I wanted was to keep my distance from him. I didn't want to feel the same way I did before because I knew it was unacceptable. That was my reason for running away, the unrequited love. I didn't have any right to receive love from anyone.

Now I didn't need to watch a romantic movie. I already had an idea of what to write.

And I would write a tragic story.

Trivia: The movie that Jesse found on YouTube was "Midnight Sun," and Jesse saved Oliver's phone number.