A kehlani song

I saw Mara walking out from the direction where my mum's room was and I quickly hid , I did not want her to see me, so she or I don't follow the other around and ruin each others plans if you get what I'm saying.

I did not want her to ruin my plan so....

When she went through the garden door . I said Shit, she could not see the bench from the pass way. So the chances of them seeing each other was 1% which was very low so I was not bothered. I quietly followed behind her .

Shit she went straight into the garden. Did they have plans to meet up back here. My eyes almost watered with hurt.

I thought this was our place Mr Angry Rude very much Cheating Face. I was not going to turn back and allow curiosity kill the cat.

Yes I was the cat and I was not going to die tonight. Or however the wise words were said I am really confused with it all but the key point

Key point: not going to allow curiosity kill the cat.

I quietly followed behind her then I heard Mr Very Much Cheating Cheating face ask

" Mara is that you?" Whattt what was going on, he really was expecting her. This two scoundrels , I was going to get back at them. Maybe they came here to mock me and laugh at my foolishness. Jeez I was already feeling humiliated.

I followed deeper and went to the opposite side where I knew I could not be seen , and I also had a good view and good hearing distance. I was just watching them. And from the way things things looked so far it was coincidental.

Or could it be that they knew I was here and were pulling a prank on me. Na I doubt that. Mara was looking upset already and I had started feeling guilty for doubting them. She seemed like she was going through a lot and I felt bad.

My blood pressure spiked up when he mentioned he was also in a bad mood and offered to go out for ice cream .


Was he aware that I was also upset.

Hello here!!!

Nobody is offering to buy me ice cream.

I would not deny it, I was hurt and upset. I mean didn't I mean something to him.

Or am I just a joke over here. I waited for them to be out of sight before and went in and quietly crawled into my blanket.

I want to be a strong girl and I want to pretend like I did not care about their Ice cream date and night movement. I mean everything sounded romantic and lovely, and it was just so heart breaking for me because I was not part of it.

And I was the cause of all of it, I pushed him into her hands. I wanted to cry. This is not how I envisioned my post kiss to be like.

I wanted it to be rosey and chocolatey, losts of texting and flirting and things that average teens do with the boys they kiss.

I am scarreddd

Seriously though I am scarred for life.

I tried not to make a big deal out of it.

Bish used to tell me I will have a heart attack if I do not stop over thinking things.

So I counted 1-10 ,I tried to calm myself down but it was not working, nothing was working over here.

I closed my eyes and tried to force myself to sleep but it was not working either. I really needed to know what was going on. That was my nature ,I loved getting to know details of everything. And I had to do it this time around.

I waited patiently for Nick to come out of his room so I could follow him and know more about what was going on between them.

Finally I heard him come out of the room. I opened my door silently and tiptoed behind. I was not wearing any shoes so I would not make any sound and get caught.

I was watching from the corner, apparently Mara was nowhere in the house. I was hoping he would give up, go up knock on my door and invite me instead to go out with him. But instead he was walking towards our side of the house he was headed straight to the maids quarters.


I wish I had popcorn

This was really very romantic

Too bad I was the villain in their story.

He strolled confidently towards her quarters just to take her out.

To SPEND his own MONEY on HER.



But I decided I was not going to be jealous, I was going to suck it up and be happy for them.

I realized that spying on them was not good for my health.

Ok it was also not a good habit.

Phew I was getting better at admitting my fault at least we were getting somewhere.

I sighed sadly, as I went into the kitchen. I eyed the wine glasses stocked there. I actually needed to drink wine with all the heart break I was experiencing.

With everything that had happened to me, I needed something soothing to roll on my tongue.

Something that was not Mr Angry Rude Cheating leaving me behind heart shattering Face. He had a lot of names now. It was getting harder to keep up.

And really I needed to move on. I really needed to put all this behind me.

I opened the fridge and turned milk into a glass. I drank it and headed up to my room. No more show for me to watch.

I went to room and listened to music as I tried to dance my sorrows away.

I played Assurance by Nigeria's one and Only Davido.

"You're the one I want oh

Before my liver start to fail

You're the one I need oh

Before cassava start to hail

And if I ever leave oh

Make water carry me dey go

Far away, far away"

I danced to the lyrics as I sang along, my voice sang higher when it came to the chorus

"She say give me assurance


I give my baby assurance

I give my baby lifetime insurance

Assurance, assurance

I give my baby assurance

I give my baby lifetime insurance

Biggie biggie

Heavy heavy (Chei)

Baby do you want me?


I almost screamed louder to express my pain, I knew I was being being dramatic but please. Give me a break. I just watched the first guy I kiss take another girl on an Ice Cream Date right after we fought because of the girl.

I put the song on repeat, until I got tired and I could not stand to hear it again, then I played Nights like this by Kehlani ft Ty Dollar Sign.

"You act like you need remindin'

Try na do it over, bring it back and rewind it

But all that glitters isn't gold, I was blinded

Should have never gave you my heart on consignment

And I can't believe the lies that I went for

Thought you was mine, but you decided to be with him though

You took my feelings and just threw 'em out the window

Feel like it's too hard to fall in love again, no"

I was near tears, I was starting to believe that she sang the song because of me. It hit so hard.

Like the feeling of a Koboko(Cane) against your back on a cold night. It usually hits different then. The pain usually ran deep. You could feel it all over even though it was only your ass that was getting whooped.

I finally gave up on listening to the heart break songs because I realised that I was over reacting.

I just had to over react and I was over trying to be calm about the situation because I could not.

I wished I did not come up and spied on them more closely and I got a better idea of what exactly was going on.

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