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29-ABBIE

It was all a nightmare.

I was just still sleeping and was having a bad dream.

At some point I would feel Alex's lips kissing my cheek to wake me up and be able to make love in the middle of the night, just as it had happened a few days ago.

I hadn’t been kidnapped, I hadn’t seen the man I loved fall a second time and I hadn’t been drugged, brought somewhere hidden even from God's eyes and of course my hands were not tied behind my back as my ankles.

It was just that.

A simple nightmare.

So why did it feel so real?

Why this maddening urge to break down and cry and not be able to do it because the guy a few feet from me would know that I was conscious?

Because I wasn't in my bed with Alex, nor was I in the middle of a nightmare. This was real and all because of me.

Wanting to be alone had ruined Alex's work and endangered him once again.

And now I didn't know if he was alive or not.

I wouldn't have

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