Proposal. . .

After having a great day with her brother, sister in-law and nephew, Nana thank Allah for having them in her life. If not for them, she didn't know whether she would be able to survive or not. Yes, her parents are always there but not the way she needs them, she knew they're trying their best. She hate to think that there are parents out there wanting a child even if he's blind or deaf but her parents are here neglecting them, well, not much. Or so she wants to put it.

Talking about that, she's trying to get ready and accompany her brother and his family to the airport as they're going back to America today. She was so sad that he came three days ago but didn't bother coming to see her. After so much explanation that he wasn't in the same state as her, she finally accepted his apology and ask him to come back soon. She'll miss him so much, or in his words, she's going to miss Khumais so much and that part is more than true. She just feel this strange connection with him that she wants to keep him with her all the time.


She brought out a blue khaki long hooded sweater drawstring neck and reinforced hem, luxurious non-sheer knitwear fabric and a black leggings, white sneakers and blue veil around her pleated hair- by Aunty Zu. She added a long jilbaab along before rushing down the stairs so that they wouldn't leave her. Finally, she's going out even though she's most likely going out in a car but that still counts and it is no one's fault, she just like being at home and then Islamic school, that's all.

"You're here on time. We were about to leave," her brother grinned mischievously knowing how she'll just burst out if they leave without her.

"Oh brother mine, there would've been a fray and I wouldn't go out with a scathe." She flipped her hijab from behind, imagining it to be her long hair.

"Oh really! When did you start disrespecting your brother, hm?" He jokingly glare at her.

"When my brother starts thinking about leaving me behind." She shrugged and went to a giggling Khumais who was busy waiting for her to pick him from his mother's grasp.

"Oh you cutie! I'm going to miss you so much baby, will you miss me?" She pinched his cheek as she draw him to her.

"I'll mwish you shooo mouch, mine." (I'll miss you so much, mine). He gurgled out in his baby voice. Sakinah by the side smoked at the people in front of her.

"Aw, mine will miss you more, habiby!" She grinned with her eyes tickling with tears, she love this bundle of happiness. His smile is enough to brighten up her whole existence. An onslaught of feelings weigh down in her chest and she couldn't pinpoint which one is better than the other, they all feel tantamount.

"Let's go or we'll be late." Fahad said making his way out of the house with his wife in his arms.

"Oh yes lovebirds, you can't wait to get all lovey dovey." She sarcastically muttered under her breath before rushing behind them with Khumais in her arms.

She said a quick bye to Hanna and Aunty Zu that she'll just accompany them to the airport and will be back with the driver.

She sat herself down on the passenger's seat with Khumais straddled around her waist and Fahad with Sakinah at the backseat. She kept playing with Khumais whilst taking so many videos -in her iPad- of his every reaction and words. She wants to keep everything about the baby and keep it like it is a treasure, which to her, it is. Sometimes she thinks she'll never get married to even have a baby, why? She's always at home and who will see her to even like her and marry her?

Why wouldn't she know much and she's writing? She writes about Arabs and religion. She loves Arabs and writes a lot about them as she read from Qur'an and Hadiths. She likes thinking that she is still living with them, those centuries ago. She like it when it is peaceful, when you'll never think of anything bad about anyone, it's always about religion and following your prophet's path.

"Stop daydreaming with your camera on my son's face, sister mine. Let's go now." Her brother brutally yank her out of her reverie.

"I didn't notice. Let's go!" She open the door and sauntered out of the car and settle her feet down before the other then adjusting Khumais around her waist.

"Our flight is in twenty minutes, we're almost late. Thanks to you, sister mine." Her brother grinned sarcastically.

"Stop with your sarcasm already and don't forget, you got it from me! Run before you get late." She laughed at his horrified face. How can he run when he has a wife and son on his tail?

"I'll miss you so much, Nana mine!" Her sister in-law collect her son from her before giving her a tight hug.

"I'll miss you too, Sakinah mine." She smiled at her pretty sister in-law after pulling away from the sisterly hug. The woman has never given her any reason to hate or deprecate her in anyway.

"Come to you brother you naughty fellow," her brother opened his arms wide and she hugged him tight. "I'll miss you," he whispered before kissing her head.

"Same here, brother mine!" She almost shed some tears but didn't. It has been long since she last cried and she'll not do it now, not now and not anytime soon. Not that she likes that saying 'crying is for the weak' that's not true but she's not a fan of it.

After their heart wrenching goodbyes, they finally left and she was left standing there, looking at triad as they turn their backs at her. She smiled before deciding to go back home. Staying there and looking at her family leave is not the best thing to do at the moment, not when she has a classes to teach.

On her way, she saw an old woman trying to pick up her stick as she couldn't walk properly, probably due to being aged. She immediately squat down and the woman use her as support, whilst doing so, she took the stick from the floor before holding the old woman's arms. She gave her the stick, smiling at the woman, she looks old and in need of food. In whole, she looks grotesque. How she wished she knew what to do at the moment, what to give the woman but she doesn't have a thing with her and that hurts so much.

If only she has some money with her, she would've given so much to the woman. It looks like she is in need of it. Her parents don't give her money, why would they? She's always at home and don't need the money, she ask them to buy her whatever it is that she needs.

The woman smiled, showing her broken and brown coloured teeth. She smiled and patted Nana's head in an affectionate way. That's when Nana notice that the woman can't talk. Oh Allah! She felt the tears threatening to  escape, her heart ached for the woman. She smiled at the innocuous woman, not wanting to cry in front of the woman to cause her more than she has in her plate.

She smiled back before kissing the old woman's forehead and sitting her down on the nearest waiting chair. After saying her goodbye to the woman -trying to talk to her with hand gestures, she left the building and into the car. This world is full of people and it's very small for anyone's liking. May Allah have mercy on us!

After a long drive back to her house, she immediately get dressed, ready to go to the Islamic school. She added a long brown hijab that trails down the back she walks on and a black Niqab (a veil used to cover faces, mostly used by Muslims). She put all the books she'll need for the classes she's going to teach today in her YSL black bag. She made sure the black socks on her feet is sitting comfortably before slipping into some flats, not in the mood to wear loafers.

"I'm off, Aunty Zu." She called out before walking out of the house. The Islamic school  is just a few feet away from her home, so she prefer to trek than ask the driver to take her.

"There are many signs of the fear of Allah. You can find out whether we fear Allah or are oblivious of him through some simple tests. Here are some of them; One- The tongue informs us: if we talk evil, backbite and engage in frivolous gossip, it shows that there is very little concern. We should engage our tongue in the remembrance of Allah, in recitation of the Qur'an and in circles of knowledge. Two- In the heart we should expel hatred, enmity, jealousy and replace them with well-wishing and care for Muslims. Three- We should not extend our hands for haram purposes. Four- Our eyes should not wander off to look at haram objects. Five- Our feet should not walk towards haram places. Six- We should be careful of what we put in our stomachs. Seven- We should be concerned in our good deed that we don't perform them for anyone else except Allah." Nana said to her students with hand gestures.

The students kept quite like they usually do whenever she starts lesson. Her classes are the best, they'd said that more than she can ever count. She made sure they understand each and every word as they like questioning her about hadiths every now and then.

"You don't have to ask for the hadiths, I'll give you some of them." She chuckled a little when their faces lit up.

"Abdullah ibn Mubarak, may Allah be pleased with him said about fear: When night befalls, they endure it and see it through bowing in mku'. Fear has released their sleep, so they stand and acquire in vigilance." She repeated it three times, making sure they have it written in their books before saying the other one.

"Hasan ibn Hani, may Allah be pleased with him composed the following (it has been credited to Imaam Shafi'ee may Allah be pleased with him): Fear Allah and hope for every good thing from Him; Don't follow your adamant self, lest you regret it; Remain in between hope and fear and you will rejoice with the Pardon of Allah if you submit." She finished!


"Someone wants to meet you tomorrow, dear. They want your hand in marriage but I want you to meet him first. His family wants him to come and see you. If you like him and him vice versa, everything will be settled like you wish. Simple yet elegant." Her mother beamed at her.

Nana smiled a little, she has been thinking about her getting married just moment ago and now a proposal, oh well. If her mother and father are happy with the proposal then why won't she. Besides, marriage is half her deen, if she doesn't do it now then when would she. For all she knows, she could die later or tomorrow without completing what Allah wants for all Muslims. She just hopes that the man is good, pious and religious. She is old enough to get married and settle down with her husband happily.

"Alright, mom. No problem, I'll meet him tomorrow." She kissed her cheek before standing up to go and remove her hijab and keep her bag as she just got back from Islamic school.

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