Chapter six - Cleo

The week flies by and I'm in classes with at least one of the girls every day and I've even found myself starting to feel comfortable around the guys too. Thursday night I stand in front of my wardrobe for far too long looking at the clothing in there. The girls said it's comfy casual, but my other friends' comfy casual was still dresses and high heels, so I'm at a loss of what they'll be wearing.

In the end I grab a knee length blue dress that covers my chest completely and looks good with my converses, which I figure would be a better shoe choice than high heels since we're going bowling first. 

Although I stash them in my bag for the party after, just in case. 

I fold the clothes and place them in my backpack, with my wash kit, a towel and PJ's, as well as some comfy jeans and a t-shirt to go home in on Saturday. Putting them beside the brand new sleeping bag my mum bought me this week, I jump into bed, staring at the ceiling and trying to quiet my anxiety and excitement enough to fall asleep.

*

As soon as our lesson finishes Priya grabs my arm and leads me to the cleanest set of toilets in the school to get changed. Jenny is already in there dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt and Rae and Aurora come in just after us and start changing, all of them wearing jeans. 

I'm so glad I brought my jeans for tomorrow!

It takes me only seconds to pull on my jeans and plain black off the shoulder t-shirt, stuffing my dress at the bottom of my bag so they don't see it, then dragging the top half of my hair up into a ponytail and leaving the bottom half flying loose around my shoulders.

Rae is leaning towards the mirror, putting on her make-up, so I grab my little pink glittery make-up bag and join her at the sinks.

"We're going to have so much fun tonight. Rory's cadet friends are really nice." She beams at me when our eyes meet in the mirror and once again I'm filled with a little burst of excitement and joy over the relaxed and easy friendship these girls offer.

"Ok, so the guys are having a cigarette before they go. Shocker." Aurora chuckles to herself, stuffing her uniform into an enormous army issue backpack that makes me miss my dad. "So they're going to meet us there, everyone ready?"

"Let's go." Jenny shouts, grabbing Aurora's arm and dragging her out of the door, the rest of us following behind, and this time, joining in with the chatter is much easier for me.

Danny and Danielle are side by side, leaning against the wall when we arrive at the bowling alley and a few minutes after we reach them, Luke's car, literally, skids into the parking space beside ours, vibrating with the beat of the music they're playing loudly.

"You break it, you buy it." Aurora shouts over to him, wrapping her arms around Shane, who has practically leapt from the moving car to be next to her.

We have to book out two lanes to fit us all and after quite a long deliberation, it's decided to split the group at random so I end up with Aurora, Danny, Luke and Danielle on the lane with me. 

"Drinks?" Billy offers, standing up with his wallet in hand, then he and Jenny head over to order for us all and that's when I see him standing against the wall, staring at me. I can't make out the look he's giving me, but automatically I shift away from Danny who's sitting beside me.

He jerks his chin in a way that I assume means he wants to talk to me and without a word to anyone, I find myself walking towards him before my brain has really engaged.

"Hi Colin. I..." I start but he holds his hand up, his face contorted with anger.

"What the fuck Cleo? You think you can just come talk to me after what you did? You cheated on me, humiliated me and then disappeared. No call, no message. Just gone." He spits out and despite my resolution to own it and move on, I feel the shame and guilt filling me once again.

"I'm sorry, you know I would never have…" 

"But you did, you knew what I wanted and you did that. And now what, you've run away and made a bunch of new friends." He gestures towards the lane where they're laughing together waiting for everyone to come back so the game can start. 

Suddenly, John and Simon are behind me, blocking both my view of my new friends and also my escape. 

"Do they even know what a whore you are? Or do they believe this innocent little act you put on? To be fair though, you'd be better off that way, why do you think you woke up alone after fucking those guys? You have no idea what you're doing, I bet they went off to do someone better."

"Colin stop, ok, I came to apologise for what happened. I really am sorry, I never meant to hurt you, I don't even know what happened, but it's not fair that I'm the only one suffering for it, those guys…" 

"You don't even know their names, do you? That's how much of a desperate slag you are?" I take a step back and look around, I should have known trying to talk to him was a bad idea, he'll never forgive me. I understand why, but it doesn't mean I need to listen to his insults anymore.

"Ok, I'm going to go. Please, just know that I'm sorry ok, I regret it more than anything and I've had to completely start again. I really hope you can move on and be happy."

"Do you think I want your words? No, they mean nothing to me, but, if you really want to apologise, you can come with us now." He grins and even if I didn't know what he meant, the hand from one of his friends behind me, grabbing my waist and pulling me back towards him, is explanation enough.

"No, Colin, I don't want to." I say, twisting to glare at John. "Can you not touch me?"

"Come on, you've done it before." Colin says, stepping closer. Then a heavy arm lands on my shoulder.